New Adventures

Have you missed me??  Life went in to HIGH gear after Father's Day and I've been in full concentration mode to keep in check with my mental health. 

Onward and upward is the theme of this post. How are we facing our challenges in life? Are we looking at them with blinders or with our eyes wide open with the big picture in mind? It is safe to say that at any given moment it could be any and all of the above. Living with faith AND

courage is HARD! I am not perfect and always chipper and charming. In fact I can be quite cynical and pissy when I don't have control over the situation. For me, it wasn't until I let go of the fear and channeled my focus to positive that the stars started to align. Every day I have seen incredible miracles come to play, even if it was the fact that I could still function on NO sleep. 

The most enlightening piece of advice I received was from a dear work associate and now friend. As she and I sat at the Ogden Arts Festival a couple weeks ago she suggested that I start channelling my journal efforts. These were her suggestions:

1. Write "I love you" at the top of the page.

2. Write 3 things you are thankful for 

3. Write a moment of pleasure.

4. Write a moment of success

5. Write one thing you love about yourself.

After day 2 I was already seeing a change. The sky wasn't changing colors or a fairy godmother was appearing out of nowhere, but my mind was putting itself at ease because I was loving it and appreciating it and recognizing the good that was all around me. 

I will forever be a HUGE fan of journalling as a mental health magic potion, but I am once again amaZed at the true power if actually has in the grand scheme. We are

blessed for the EFFORT we make to love ourselves and cut some slack during the challenging times. Because when it's all said and done we are surrounded by BUCKETS of blessings down below the black clouds. We can do hard things. 

The moral of the story: blessings come all the time. It's our job to recognize and CELEBRATE them. 

Until next time, my lovelies!!

-R

My hero.

I will forever say that it takes a special kind of man to be the father of daughters. Not that the fathers of sons are second-class citizens, but there is a special kind of patience for drama, periods and boys who can't get their crap together and we cry about it over and over annnnd over.

I was blessed to be the numero uno child and first daughter for my dad. And I have to admit that he should win an award. Front row seats in heaven to that man. He has been through a lot with 4 women, including my mother, under one roof. Last night I posted the following collage on Instagram and this was the caption: "I am a LUCKY daughter. This man who I call Dad continues to set the bar on what a good partner and parent really means. I absolutely adore him; his silly quirks and all. And the fact that I was gifted his genetics and have the widest calves ever really doesn't matter." 

So I want to talk about five of my dad's character traits (or quirks to some) that have shaped me and also have given me a standard for the kind of man who will father my children. 

1. Stand up, speak up, shut up: My dad is an post-secondary educator by profession. His main classes that we knew the most about (and actually cared) as kids were Public Speaking and Interpersonal Communications. One of the main points he always teaches is "stand up, speak up and shut up." Say your piece with confidence and sit the hell down when you're done. Don't wear out your welcome or everything you've said is null and void. 

2. Smell is everything: My dad is insanely hilarious about smells. He drives my mother crazy with it but I think it is quite endearing and something I agree with. For the majority of my childhood we cut our own Christmas tree because my dad wanted THAT smell in our home. Oh so many years of sappy crappy mess, but it smelled like Christmas and we loved it. It wasn't until I was an adult that my mother finally won the battle and they purchased a fake tree. BUT, the compromise was my dad could burn the Salt City "Christmas Tree" candle to create the smell. To this day I still make sure I have ample holiday scents for my burner when the fake tree goes up in my home. 

3. If there are dishes to be done, do them: My parents have never owned a dishwasher and they probably never will. That is a luxury that was just not on the radar. My mother's kitchen is also the size of a shoe box so one meal's worth of dishes and it is a nightmare. There were countless days when I was growing up that there would be a mountain of dishes when my dad got home from work and he would roll up his sleeves and do them. He has always been the kind of man who saw the need and met it. 

4. Respect your mother: if there was one thing that would send my dad over the edge was disrespect for our mother. And he was incredibly proud of his own mother who was a military wife and the best cook ever. One of the most challenging times in my life was watching the intense mourning that occurred when my Grandmother passed away from breast cancer. I am so grateful that he always showed us that treating his lady love with respect and honor was his number 1 priority. And I don't think I've ever heard him end a conversation with my mom until he has said, "I love you." 

5. Be consistent with your faith: my dad is a man of faith and has always been the consistent leader in family prayer and reading scriptures. Now this should not be construed as we were the pristine perfect family. We were/are not. But we sure tried our best. When we were running a million different directions (including him) we always managed to have family prayer to open and close our day. Even if it was the three-part short prayer. We also always prayed before we hit the open road for any trip. A life lived with consistency of faith (whatever that may be) is absolutely critical. 

There are a hundred other things I could write about my dad, but these 5 things are really what have formed my opinion of  what a good partner and parent means. 

I want to add one more thought about dads. I know that there are TOOOO MANY children out there who will never have the luxury of their daddy hero. And to the mothers of those children I say, "carry on, wonder women. You are doing the work of two. Don't lose hope." 

The moral of the story: Good parents are a gift from God so be one and thank the one or two or four who raised you. 

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

If It Is Meant To Be...

It's time for some more fashion philosophy a la Raylynn. This installment of wisdom boils down to one sentence... 

If it is meant to be, it will still be there waiting for you on the sales rack in 3 months.

Now, you may scoff or roll your eyes at this advice, but it is TRUE!!!! I rarely pay for things full price, unless I know I can make at least 5 outfits. We've discussed that previously. So.... Here is the deal. I love Macy's; like HEART in red permanent marker on my forehead LOVE Macy's. And I also love their clearance. If you can master the timeline of clearance at Macy's you are set!!! I'm here to tell ya that the quality of clothing at Macy's clearance for the cost, many times, is LOWER than Target. How could you resist? 

The second store that I would say falls in my I HEART YOU category is The Gap. Oh man, we won't get into how many rewards I've earned from that place using the very unholy and colorful credit card. Since moving to the 'hood I've only been close to a Factory Store which could be a good or bad thing, depending on the day. Generally I don't go there unless I have a specific need because the selection and styles, as of late, aren't my favorite. But, I will ALWAYS love Gap denim and only go there for jeans. 

This past weekend my friend needed some cute new outfits for her trip to the NoCal coast. She had a coupon to the Gap Factory store so we went. Truly I needed nothing ... Well, actually I needed a couple basic tees but that was it. As we moseyed our way over to clearance I saw an adorable dress in my favorite color combo: mint and navy blue. When I pulled it out to check the tag for the size I saw the price.....

Were my eyes deceiving me!?????!! Like for reals, was this adorable dress ONLY $1.97??? YEP. It was. I will neither admit not deny whether or not I did a Chandler Bing happy dance in the dressing room when it fit perfectly. Given the nonsense I've been facing in other areas of my life, I felt it was a personal victory to find something so wonderful for such a low price. And based on the pricing of each item in the outfit (minus my rings), everything was under 20 bucks. WINNING!! Here are the specifics;

Dress: The Gap Outlet store $1.97

Leggings: Target $7 (on sale)

Necklace: Hiyaypapaya closet $2

Shoes: Deseret Industries $6 (basically new)

The moral of the story: wait for it. And if it's meant to be and you still love it when you go back in 3 months, BUY it!!! Otherwise, walk away. 

Until next time my lovelies.

-R

Three words.

I have had serious mental block as of late and it's been challenging trying to decide what to write about for my next post. I read a beautiful update on Facebook this week that was written by an associate who is in the rebirth stage following an extremely painful divorce. It brought tears to my eyes as I read her very raw, poignant reflections of love lost, yet strength gained. And that got me thinking. . . Let's talk about three words.

I LOVE YOU.

For such a short sentence it sure is hard to spit it out at times. I was fortunate enough to grow up in a home where my parents always said, "love you" to close their phone conversations. As a result, it is very natural for me to end phone calls with the same sentiments. However, I am very cautious as to who I hand it out to face to face. For some reason, when it comes out of our mouth it suddenly means something. Like we better damn well mean it. Uh ya!! Then why is it so hard to put down our guard and admit the truth? The f word. ... Not THAT f word... The OTHER one... FEAR. Damn that vixen called fear. A ruthless monster on all accounts. I have had a couple of relationships that I knew we were to the point that I was ready to say it and almost did, but held back. And those three words sat in the back of my throat like a fat brick blocking my voice chakra. I have wondered if it would have gone differently had I said, "wonderful amazing man of mine, I love you. I love your quirks, I love your messy hair, I love your kind heart and I love your crazy heart. Please say you love me back." It's doubtful that it would have turned out differently but it still breaks my heart a little bit. What makes me afraid to be rejected when I know that my love runs deep? When I commit and attach my heart strings to that of another, I am in it. In it for the long haul. But, here's the issue. They are not. Their insecurities and inability to bare their soul is not there. It sucks. Sucks so bad it makes me ill to write of it. But, I must. What can we do to bridge the gap between, "I can't muster up the courage to bear my soul" and "please don't ever go away, I love and adore you more than words can describe." I wish I knew. 

I also want to address the idea that one must birth a human in order to bond with it. I know, switching gears, but for me it is related. The older I get the more likely it is that I will love a man with children. It is also possible that my ability to birth my own children may not happen. I don't know, but all I know is this...a child does NOT have to rent my uterus for 9 months for me to love it like my own. In fact, I welcome the opportunity to be a bonus parent because how cool is that to say to  a child, "guess what you are a lucky one. I am your bonus mom!" Hells ya! I would do it in a heartbeat. The longer I live in Ogden, the more I run into kids who I would scoop up and take home and give them a good life and love them like I had carried them for 9 months. One such girl was in my friend's kindergarten class this year. She was too old to be in kindergarten because her family had "forgot" to take her to school when she was supposed to be in the class. She would regularly come to school in dirty, smelly clothes and talk of sleeping in a car instead of a warm bed. Seriously. This stuff kills me. Why? Why? Why? And when I finally got to meet this sweet girl who I had heard so much about I found a beautiful resilient little girl who, at face value, had NO idea that her life was less than ideal. We MUST remember to offer our heart freely when we feel the urge because we never know the power that it will bring to another human. Especially kids. They can't help it that they were conceived in a dumpy situation so we must be aware and allow the love to flow. 

The last point on love that I want to address is probably that which is the most difficult to accept. Love for ourself. Holy hell, why are we our toughest critic? Why must we be the enemy to the face in the mirror? I know of a handful of situations right now where the depression runs deep and the voice in the head of these people is burning their insides one disparaging comment at a time. From my own personal experience I can attest that one of the most fearful times in my life is when I actually heard my inner-self say these things and I couldn't fight back because I believed it. It has taken a lot of work and a lot of prayer to get to a point where I trusted my inner-self so I didn't have to rely on the outer influence to determine my worth. I am NOT defined by my body shape, my boobs size, my family size, the year of my car, the color of my skin, my marital status or how long I've been in a career. I am defined and driven by my relationship with God and my soul. And I mean that. And just because I said it doesn't mean I'm perfect or it's because of this or that. I have to dig deep. REALLY deep. I am sad a lot that I haven't had my babies yet and I'm losing sleep because of politics, not teething and runny noses. But, I know that the love that I feel for those around me is REAL and GENUINE and that I will and am blessed for my goodness.

So.... The moral of the story.... He's out there. He will attach and I will let him.

Until next time my lovelies.

-R

Gettin lucky.

I've been in a very emotional place since last week. There are changes in the career and quite frankly it has been damn freaking hard. But, I have been blessed in countless measures and it's about time I talk about getting lucky. 

One of my crowning "finds" in my previous career role was a little place called Lucky Slice Pizza. From the first meeting these three snow-lovin, pizza-tossin guys had me laughing. And stuffing my face with carbs. I'm not going  to get super sappy because it's not the chill way, but I could go on for days. When you find a company that contributes countless ways to the community, makes pizza with drizzled ricotta on Fridays (Bianca!) and a partner has the logo tattooed on his bicep, you know it's legit.

This week I had lunch with some business connections at Lucky Slice and our conversation led to some really good leads that left my heart feeling happy. When I told my friend, one of the owners, about it he said, "I'm glad it's lucky for someone." Indeed it is. What I love the most about LSP is the feeling of peace, love, pizza. That's their tag line and the point but it's real. I was on a date there this winter and another couple ate with us because there was limited seating. And it was delightful.

I have seen all facets of this business and the brains who run it and I'm a big fan. It's not about the pizza. It's about the people and how life can be lucky.