2014 : tears, triumphs and toasts to new adventures.

Well, here we are. Christmas has come and gone. I was, in fact, not on the naughty list and now it's time to recap a whirlwind freaking crazy year and talk about the triumph over those blasted imperfections that managed to become such lovely blessings.  You ready for this, ma peeps? 

In true Raylynn spirit I'm only going to talk about my Top 5 moments because I could easily talk about each of the pictures above (one per month) but I won't bore you and you've probably already seen them if you follow le instagram. Even as I look at all of the photos I get sentimental because this year goes down in the books and each picture has a story and it's deep and close to my heart. Before we go any further I want to share my annual holiday card with you. 

Below the visually obvious, "Simply Blessed" it reads, "A whirlwind year with tears & triumphs! Happy Holidays from the 'Hood. Love - Raylynn"

Let's get down to business.

 *Raylynn's 5 Best Moments of 2014 (there are plenty more)*

1.  April:  Spring brought a lot of sadness and looming reality that my career of 11 years was hastily coming to a close.  In the midst of all the struggle, I found great solace in my little experiment on Instagram and even more joy in creating a hash tag revolution for my darling kiwi girl Anneke.  The photo above (that resembles more of a dead body than a gingerbread man) was the very first #shoeselfieforanneke that I snapped and, as of writing this, I am pleased to report that we have 317 photos from across the globe for our darling girl.  She is doing amazing things as she continues to face her personal struggles and I am so proud of her.  I will admit that I'm a bit jealous that it is SUMMER in her world right now, but I can't have sunshine and sand all the time.  If you would like to read about the revolution -- click here--

After a whole lotta prayin.....

2.  June: PEACE OUT CAREER OF 11 YEARS!  It may have happened on June 30, but let me tell you what that goof ball picture of me looking tired and haggard but so damn overjoyed was the greatest day of my life and the best day in June.  I finally chose to leave the comfort of money that came with a whole too much drama and politics for a new job in a new industry that has given me the flexibility to grow, be creative and connect with such amazing and wonderful people.  Every day I come to work I thank God for dropping that one special person in my life who made the connection to this new job.  She is a guardian angel of 2014 and I don't let her forget it. 

3.  July:  I love July.  It's my birthday month.  And it also started with a week of relaxation, pampering and a trip to see my Jo in Idaho for the Fourth of July.  As I acted like a kid with my sparklers in the street, I again thanked God for all my many blessings and the fact that I was sleeping through the night again.  To read all about that fabulous week goooooo here!

 

4.  September:  Three words.  Van. Lady. Love.  Read the original blog.  It's probably one of my all-time favorite posts this year.  I sound like a complete crazy person and a silly groupie girl over that cute beardy boy named Steele, but I'm only sort of crazy and they are such a great band.  Truly.  Never underestimate the power of a good pair of red shoes.  Needle point that on a pillow. 

 

5. November:  Fashion features for an entire month!!!!!!!!!  Woot!  This girl was in heaven sharing some of my favorite outfits with all of you.  And it meant that I had the opportunity to have another photo shoot with a lovely photographer from Ogden.  Kel-Z Photography and I had a blast running around Ogden snapping some gorgeous photos for features on Mandatory Metallica, Polka Dots in the 'Hood, and Bringin Homemade to the Yard. 

 

Ok, because I'm the boss, I will say one extra thing because ... I can....  This year, because of my exit from my career, I was able to join the Friends Board for the Weber-Morgan Children's Justice Center.  I wrote about this in September after we did our annual motorcycle ride, but I just have to say that it has been such a HUGE blessing.  I am surrounded by some really incredible people who are fiercely passionate about this cause and it has boosted my spirits and got me out of my comfort zone on a few things.  I love it.  As the year ends and I look at my calendar for 2015 much of the first half of my year is going to be consumed by planning for our HUGE gala in May.  It is going to ROCK & I can't wait to tell you all about it. 

 

I spent some quality (pish, who am I kidding) time in bed, very sick, this past weekend, which meant I got to peruse social media and find inspiring quotes.  I found this one and I've decided that it's going to be my personal mantra for 2015.  I've taken this approach with my blog already and have kept it strictly about my musings and not about sponsorships or money because I know that who needs to find me and my words will and those who don't, won't.  Plain and simple.  We don't need to prove to people that we are awesome, my lovelies.  They can take the time to talk to us and find out. 

The moral of the story:  Although my year was FULL of tears, it was also full of SO much triumph and joy and that is what I will look back on with gratitude in my heart when I remember 2014. 

Until 2015, my lovelies!  And CHEEEEEEEEEEERS!
-R

 

Pageantry and All Its Glory.

Last week I included a hyper link to a new Nativity video that was released by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir this year.  I've probably watched that video 10 times this week.  It is magical.  You should watch it again by clicking HERE.  As I was watching it, I was reminded of my next holiday favorite and that are children's nativities and my favorite short story, "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" by Barbara Robinson.  

Before we get any further, let's just talk about that super cute and sassy redhead angel in the photos above!  You wonder where the buns began?  Right here, folks.  This was a nativity photo shoot for church that we did when I was about 4 and I still love looking at the photos.  I had my mother send them to me in electronic form so I could share them with all of you.  There is something so stinkin cute about rambunctious children coming together to re-create one of the most important stories of Christianity.  When I was growing up we would always read the story of Christ's birth as a family on Christmas Eve, but those years that we acted it out (when we had a real baby that could be Baby Jesus in human form, not just some lame doll) were so much more memorable and enjoyable.  Notice the theme that memories vs. things prospered in my household?  I also remember another year that we had a nativity with all the church kids in our congregation and I was Mary and my crush was Joseph.  How dreamy?????  We were 11, but it was perfection.  Every time I see his family when I go home to visit I giggle inside because I still think of my time as Mary fondly.  He was a pretty dishy Joseph even for a man of 11.  

So let's talk about the book.  "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" is a book that we read often when I was growing up.  My parents had the original copy from their childhood collections and I LOVED reading it.  The story was written in 1971 and is about six hooligan children who raise so much hell in their town that no one wants to deal with them.  The book opens with us finding out about their love for fire and stealing, among other things.  Before long they get wind that they serve "food" at church (bread and wine) and that every year they put on a pageant that's all about Baby Jesus.  As you can imagine these kids were hooked at the word food and miraculously become the most faithful cast members ever.  What unfolds is so hilarious, but ends with a pageant that everyone thought was going to be a COMPLETE DISASTER, but is actually the town's finest performance ever.  A few years ago I found a new edition of the book at Barnes & Noble and decided to buy myself a copy to read each year.  I always read it the week of Christmas so that I am warmhearted and prepared for Christmas the way that everyone should be prepared..remembering the reason for the season and that is little baby Jesus.  I'm still in the process of reading it this year so I won't give away too many of the good quotes.  I will just say this....read it!  It's so cute!  I also noticed online that they've created a children's story edition that is shorter and has bright fun pictures.  You can find that here.  There was also a cheesy, low budget TV movie made in the 80's and it is classic and might bring a tear or two to your eyes both from laughing and crying.

As you've probably gathered from reading my blog posts, I am a big fan of the technique, "how can I apply this to real life?"  So, here's the deal.  Living in Ogden means I am surrounded by children who are living in conditions far worse than I care to admit.  My lovely friend, Sarah aka Ethel, teaches kindergarten at a local inner-city school and every year she tells me about her kids whose primary residence is the homeless shelter.  Sigh.  That is just shitty for them.  The other day when I was driving to work, one of the school districts was busing kids to a local theater to see "The Nutcracker."  It's the same school district as Sarah so I knew that a good portion of these kids were probably elated to have a fancy outing in the middle of their school week.  I happened to catch a green light while turning left so I had to wait for like 40 kids to run across the street.  As I sat in my car, I watched a child run across in a t-shirt that looked like a tent and a dirty little face and matted hair.  And then I thought of this book.  I thought of crusty Imogene as Mary and Gladys as she says, "Hey!  Unto you a child is born!"  and then I got all misty eyed and in mamma bear mode and almost missed my opportunity to turn.  I've been tasked with running the Facebook page for the Weber-Morgan Children's Justice Center and I posted some interesting, but very sad, content this week about children who are neglected.

Did you know?
1. Children exposed to maltreatment are at increased risk of educational underachievement, including lower verbal and math scores.
2. Neglected children have poorer academic performance than physically maltreated children.
3. Maltreated children have higher rates of absenteeism from school than non-maltreated peers.
4. Maltreated children are at substantially higher risk than non-maltreated children of repeating a grade.
5. Maltreated children are at increased risk of dropping out of school before high school graduation.
6. Maltreated children are more likely to be referred for special education services.
7. Maltreated children are more likely than their peers to exhibit poor social skills and classroom behavior problems.
8. A child’s risk of poor academic functioning is substantially heightened by multiple victimizations.

Ref: National Children's Advocacy Center "As A Matter of Fact: The Relationship Between Child Maltreatment and Academic Achievement"

That, my lovelies, is sad, sad and sad.  I often wonder what the author was really trying to prove when she set out to write "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever."  Was she proving that kids are hilarious, but can still portray the story of Jesus' birth in a moving and semi-spiritual manner OR was she trying to make a point about watching out for the kids in our communities who are probably hooligans more for the attention and seeking of love than just being little punks?  No matter her motive, I am so grateful that she created this story because it makes my heart happy and I STILL laugh out loud a lot when the pageant directors try to explain the story to the Herdman kids and they are nearly saying "what the hell" for chapters on end.

The moral of the story:  Kids are always going to be kids and generally that involves hooliganism and cuteness wrapped all into one.  But, if we will show some compassion and take heed to look out for the kids who really have no one else to love them, we will be richly blessed and so will they.  You can do it.  I can do it.

Until next time, my lovelies!
-R

Maybe Christmas Doesn't Come From a Store.

How's everyone holding up with the hustle and bustle of the holidays? I'm pretty much a mush-brained crazy person who is looking forward to a long winter's nap in the very near future.

This week's holiday favorite things is about my favorite children's story: the magnificent "How The Grinch Stole Christmas." By Dr. Seuss. What a timeless classic that teaches an even more timeless lesson. I also love the Jim Carrey movie version but it's technically not my favorite holiday movie so it will get an honorable mention but that's about it. 

I am often reminded of the main theme of this story and that is, "does Christmas really come from a store?" But even more what years do I remember most from my childhood and adulthood? Are they the years of feast or famine? I posed this question to the masses via Facebook and Instagram and the answers were so moving. I will share them in a minute. With the exception of the year I got a Dance Club Barbie (with coordinating dance tape) my best memories of Christmas were the years of spending it with more people and less things. I was raised in a Mormon home and while I was in high school my dad was the leader of our local congregation. His official title was Bishop. During the holidays, well all the time really, but more so during the holidays, the bishop's family quickly becomes a center for attention. Extra treat plates, cute gifts from the children and an unspoken expectation to take care of the needy who have no one else. Now for a bunch of punk teenagers, the LAST thing we wanted to do was take care of the needy in our congregation. They smelled funny and made us uncomfortable. But my parents prevailed and one year we decided that we would go, as a family, to the rest homes and assisted living care units to sing carols on Christmas Eve. I am telling you what, we were NOT thrilled. The rest home was especially challenging because they are the complete opposite of holiday cheer. But we did it. One of the widows we visited was blind so in order for her to know we were there we had to squeeze her hand and tell her who we were.  Each of us did it and then we started singing carols from our hymnbook. In the dim light of this dear blind lady's room, I looked over and saw her roommate laying in her bed, mouthing the words along with us with a tear glistening in her eye. That's been close to 15 years ago and I can still remember how it made me FEEL. No idea what my gifts were that year, but it was an unforgettable Christmas.

The best Christmas I remember as an adult was the year I implemented my own tradition of anonymous Secret Santa. It was my 2nd year as a working adult and I had a co-worker who was desperately struggling to hold on to her sanity and be a single mom with poor health and no money. I ADORED her and it broke my heart to see her struggle so much. In this particular job we always got a holiday bonus that was a percentage of our annual salary. Even for a lowly teller that was a good chunk of change. I decided, along with the wife of a VP, that we would send something to her in the mail as her Christmas guardian angels. And that we did. I'll never forget the day she came to work with the card in hand, in tears, telling us that she had experienced a Christmas miracle and could buy groceries for her kids. I could tell you pages and pages of stories, but most of them are so dear to my heart and are not intended to be broadcast and initiate bravado. 

Do you ever feel like you have the Grinch sitting on your shoulder, whispering in your ear, "screw sharing. You earned this money, you go right ahead and spend unholy amounts on frivolous things for yourself." It might look something like this....

Well, allow me to share with you two experiences from dear friends of mine about their most memorable Christmases. I think you'll find that they too were the most blessed by those around them looking out for their family during times of trial or "famine."

The first is from K: 

"Famine for sure. R has had lots of medical issues and one Christmas we had so many medical bills that we weren't going to be able to do much for Christmas. Someone was anonymously "Santa" for our family. Left my kids voice mails from him, letters, presents, stockings, food. They did something every day for a whole month. I will never forget it. I would say I mostly remember events because it's all about who you're with."

The next is from L:

"The years which remain the clearest are the ones with disparity. Being older than my sis. and bro. I knew money was tight, so I asked for small things or things I knew the family needed. Which I got, the dish drying rack, the shower curtain, the toilet seat (I hated that the old one with the crack pinched my bum). One year I got a hand-me-down coat, and the younger children got brand new "cool" coats. Or the year I didn't ask for anything fancy, I don't even remember what I did receive, but the littles got new bicycles.  The disparity bites.  Or there was the year I asked for one thing. A sage green T-shirt with tiny lettering across the front (so small it looked like a simple stripe from a distance) which read X-Files. I listed the mall, store, and rack location on my Christmas list.  Instead I got a black shirt with The X-Files boldly emblazoned across it, and a full back garish graphic from an episode about a boy possessed by the devil. With the shirt I also got a curling iron. That was the year my hair was about an inch and a half long. It had the $1.50 clearance sticker still on it, and my sil's niece called her out about having given the same iron to her other niece the week before for her birthday, but she hadn't wanted it.

...Yeah... I have to say the crappy Christmases stick out the most.

I have one happy one, an older sister gave me a teddy bear one year when I was really little, I named him Chocolate Chip because he had brown eyes and a brown nose and tan fur, so he looked like a cookie."

I had hoped for a few more responses, but these two, along with my own experiences, proved my point which is the same as this classic book. Christmas does not come from the store. Christmas is WAY more. And when those Who's down in Who-Ville woke up and started to sing, sing, sing in spite of their village being pillaged, what happened to the green man??? His cold heart grew three sizes.  This year has been a trying year for me personally, but I am deeply grateful for the blessings I've received.  

As humans we all have the same thing in common, hearts that beat and hearts that ache when life is hard. The greatest blessings that we can receive are when we get out of our own selfish brains and look for ways to help those around us. Quit worrying about the newest and fanciest toy or gadget and take the time to notice if your neighbors are OK or if they need a meal, a hug or two or ten or some anonymous holiday cheer. I promise you that it will make your holiday the most memorable and you will look back on it with fondness.

The moral of the story: sing sing and sing some more while you make someone's holiday merry very!

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

Bless All The Dear Children.

Well here we are in December! Can you believe it? It seems like just yesterday I was at the pool and enjoying flip flops and sunshine and now it's.... Well it's still sunshine and flip flops, but with a Christmas tree in my living room. We've had crazy warm weather in the 'hood lately and quite frankly I am grateful. I get terrible seasonal blues and I feel like this is a reprieve and answer to some uttered prayers from a couple of weeks ago. I know my ski bum and shredding friends are itching for the white stuff but I'm good. 

So for December I'm going to showcase my favorite holiday songs and traditions. I'm a sentimental fool with a big heart and most of the things I will talk about stem from a very blessed, yet simple childhood. I hope you enjoy my holiday musings. 

Last week was quite the anomaly for my non-profit work. It just so happened that I had two really important events centered around organizations that help kids at risk or those who have been in abusive situations or both. As I reflected back on both events it got me thinking about my favorite Christmas carol: "Away In A Manger."  When I looked up the history of the carol its origin is unknown and there are numerous versions and melodies. This carol is so moving to me. One of the things I love about it most is the third verse, which I quoted in the graphic above. It becomes a lullaby and it's blessed. Bless all the dear children in thy tender care. Sigh .... This time of year tends to be especially challenging for me because I haven't been blessed with motherhood yet. I've really worked hard this year to channel those mamma bear instincts through my community involvement with the Weber-Morgan Children's Justice Center. This continues to be one of the most rewarding and equally humbling tasks I've ever committed to. Some of my readers may be recovering abuse victims and to you I say, never give up and let your voice be heard. The statistics are staggering for those who are textbook victims, but never do anything to get the help and justice they deserve. And I will also say, listen to your children and those around you and be very sensitive to what they talk to you about. If you have any reservations towards certain individuals around your children, talk to someone about it. The worst thing anyone can do is to not speak up.  

We hosted a holiday open house this week at the Children's Justice Center and I had extended the invitation to a couple of people. One of them was my friend who will be part of a donation effort in the spring. I wanted him to see first hand what really went on at the center so that it made sense when we had the event. I'm always really humbled by people's reaction when they walk into the first interview room and it sinks in what actually happens within those four walls. I was one of those people not that long ago and it was the kind of humbling that causes a lump to get stuck in your throat. This time was no exception and my friend asked questions and I answered them. We then made our way into the recording room with the director who is a former child crime investigator. This room is where the computer system and recording equipment is housed for the investigators to watch as the interview is happening with the child. Shit gets real oh so quick when you realize the magnitude of purpose that occurs on a daily basis. Now I've been exposed to it for awhile, but my friend had not. I just stood there and watched as he took it all in and asked questions to the director giving us the tour. The point was made and I could tell that he was moved and inspired. This is why I do what I do... For the kids... The kids who, at no fault of their own, have been thrown into a terrible situation and need those advocates behind them. 

The second organization I met with for le day job was The Christmas Box House. The director also happens to be one of the VanLadyLove mammas so that was fun too! The organization's motto is "every child deserves a childhood." To think that this is NOT the case for so many of our youth breaks my heart. As Lisa and I were visiting I told her that I've always said I would raise the whole neighborhood if it meant they had a safe place to eat, sleep and be kids. That still stands true. The Christmas Box House provides temporary shelter for kids who have lost their home for whatever reason. They are doing incredible things for these youth. They offer so many programs for them that helps them become functioning adults against all sorts of odds. 

So how can we connect this beloved carol and these two awesome organizations? Really simple... Watch out for the children and protect these dear babes who are in your life for whatever reason. And especially those who you know have been dealt a terrible hand and you can shift their future for the better. And most of all don't forget to pray. Pray to your God for the victims of the poor choices of selfish adults. Bless those sweet young humans all around us. 

The moral of the story: life isn't a lullaby for everyone, but with a little effort and prayer we can bring a song to the hearts of children all around us. 

 

Here is my absolute favorite rendition of "Away In A Manger" sung by Katherine Jenkins. 

 



Until next time my lovelies!

-R