The Road Less Traveled.

In the poem “The Road Not Taken” Robert Frost penned the following, “two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both and be one traveler, long I stood and looked down one as far as I could to where it bent in the undergrowth; then took the other, as just as fair, and having the better claim because it was grassy and wanted wear; though as for that the passing there had worn them really about the same.”

This poem has always spoke to me and this year I have felt some aftermath of taking the road that seemed fairer because the grass was greener and appeared to have less wear.  This year has been intense and emotional behind the scenes. Don’t get me wrong; I have been immensely blessed, but the challenges have kept their front row seats for a good chunk of this year.

Two months after my granddad passed away, I was thrown in to the darkness of unemployment and it was a really sad and challenging reality to face.  I loved my job and my boss was one of my best ever, but the timing was off for a number of reasons and it was decided that I needed to embark on a new adventure.  Sword to my heart, but what do you do?  When I took this particular job, I left an 11 year career in an industry that nearly sucked the life and love out of me.  I thrived in it, made great money, had awesome contacts and friends, but the stress was so astronomical that I made the choice for my family of one to join an industry that was much more my forte and made me happy.  What transpired in my next job was a true experience of growth, acceptance that it was for a short time in my life path, but it also had a list of blessings that were added to my life. I was given a task that was challenging and tedious, but equally rewarding.  I felt like I was doing the right thing by taking this road. I took a risk in my career and chose the road less traveled after having been on the grassy, fair path. It was hard, but it was happy and successful as well. 

In the midst of all my adventures, I decided that when I finally came out of the forest of unemployment sadness and stress, I would reward myself with a grand costume adventure this Halloween.  In my last post I talked about geekery and its beauty and this is where mine comes in to play.  I LOVE HALLOWEEN. When I was a kid, my siblings and I looked forward to Halloween and always had fabulous costumes.  This has carried over in to my adult life and Utah is the mecca of Halloween celebration so this feeds my love.  Last year I purchased a pattern with the hopes of being Red Riding Hood.  Life happened and I ended up putting it on the back burner for 2015.  Then I lost my job, was poor indefinitely and didn’t know if I was going to work for someone who even celebrated the holiday.  Fast forward to September when I was presented with an offer with a company that not only celebrates Halloween, but STOPS all business to party for an entire day. I am in heaven.

I was lucky enough to have an awesome artistic posse this year to create my dream costume also known as #RayRidingHood2015.  My costume was custom designed (a joint collaboration) by me and Crystal from Anubis Creations in Salt Lake.  I did NOT want a cape.  I wanted it as a lace-up bodice and all one piece and the “Lord of The Rings” massive hood in red velveteen.  That is exactly what I got.

I also wanted to have a petticoat and was lucky enough to find a black number that is made in the USA from Endless Indulgence on Historical 25th Street in Ogden.  In case it wasn’t cool enough already, I decided that I needed bad ass red shoes and I picked those up at Endless Indulgence as well.

Last, but certainly not least, was the mask.  I STRESS about never having a male counterpart for Halloween.  It’s so insanely dumb, but it’s a total girl moment that I have almost every single damn year.  I briefly voiced this concern to my friend Amanda from Artisan Maskers and she said, “um I will make you a gorgeous, one-of-a-kind wolf mask and you will be both.”  Sold. Feminist independence for the win!  She is so talented and I am honored to wear such a beautiful piece of artwork on my face.

As Kelsey and I were shooting the photos at Union Station in Ogden I got very introspective and borderline emotional when we looked in to the sunset and dual train tracks and the choice of paths before us.  This has been my life this year!  It has been a constant battle of choices, mistakes and heartache, but then getting back on track and finding happiness and my zen again.

The last paragraph of Robert Frost’s poem is powerful and inspires me.  It says, “I shall be telling this with a sigh, somewhere ages and ages hence; two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference.” 

It truly made all the difference in my life to take the road less traveled last July when I made the choice to leave a toxic situation and move towards my ultimate happiness in a new career.  Even though there was still sadness and struggle, the end result is the RIGHT result for me and that is the difference that matters.  We can do hard things, my lovelies.  We can achieve goals and trudge through trial even when we think it is UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE.

The moral of the story:  Fear not to take the road less traveled.  It is the road that leads to personal growth and a whirlwind of adventure.

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

Geekery is BeYOUtiful: "Geek Girl" by Cindy C. Bennett

A wise friend once told me, "we're all a little weird, Raylynn, and it's ok."  He was totally right and I find myself saying that out loud a lot.  My most recent read was a delightful and adorably geeky book called "Geek Girl" by Utah author Cindy C. Bennett.  My discovery of this completely adorable geeky book (did I say that already?) was in the mecca of all geekdom, Salt Lake Comic Con 2015.  Cindy is one of Sarah Boucher's fellow author comrades and she had told me about this book briefly so I had to check it out.  I could not put it down.  It was well-written, hilarious, raw and just plain sweet.

The main character of the book is a girl named Jen.  She has been bounced through the foster care system and as a result has become jaded.  She is angry at her reality and hides behind goth clothing, dark make-up and hangs out with the school's finest hooligans.  One day she meets a cute geeky boy named Trevor and has a brilliant idea that she is going to lure him to the "dark side" and rough him up a bit and win a bet with her catty goth gal pals.  It's not too long after spending time with Trevor that she falls under his spell of geekdom which is also known as being genuine, kind and passionately interested in Sci-Fi films.  The story that unfolds is so beautiful because Jen realizes that in spite of his geeky ways, Trevor is a good soul and she falls in love with his genuine heart.  As a result of spending countless hours trying to "change him" she soon notices that her own heart softens and she becomes braver and unravels some emotional messes of her own and begins a long overdue healing process.

This story line is not uncommon in real life with Ray.  I have a number of women in my close circle of friends who are geeks to the core.  I mean the whole enchilada geek 101.  I also have some friends who are married to geeks to the core.  Men who make Luke Skywalker look like a pansy.  I adore all of them and their goof ball husbands so I wanted to showcase some of their delightfully beautiful ways so that we can celebrate the ridiculous awesomeness that is geekery.  I think that you will find that geeks really do have more fun.

Before we can dive deep in to the land of my friends, I have to embarrass my sisters first.  It goes without being said that the three of us (and our ruffian brother) were raised in a thoroughly geeky home.  We HEART Star Wars and Star Trek and Super Man (Reeve and Cain) and have WAY too many Rocky movies in our stewardship.  Thus, I blow their cover first.  I won't reveal which sister it is, but if you know us, you'll probably figure it out.

Sister #2 is married and when I asked her to share some of her quirky geekdoms, she sent me a scripted story that she and her husband had drafted.  I laughed and laughed.  I will share a small excerpt for your reading pleasure.  They crack me up.  A LOT.  She is also a geek about drinks that are blue, Rocky movies and talking in dog voice (like if her dog could talk, what would he say).  Anyway.....

MOVIE DATE NIGHT AT HOME

Husband: What kind of movie are you in the mood for?
Sister: I don't know, either a comedy or action film.
[Husband flips through Netflix, makes about 30 suggestions...]
Sister: Let's watch a documentary.

We watch a documentary.
Every. Single. Time.

Sister #3 is a beautiful Whovian.  She puts us all to SHAME with her knowledge of Doctor Who.  In spite of raising her children with Star Trek and Star Wars, our mother just can't quite grasp the doctor and daleks and flying police boxes.  Odd?  Probably?  Relevant?  Doubtful.  Sister #3 is also a fan of the hipster lifestyle and digs the dudes with beards.  She may have contracted that by osmosis from her older sister, but I'll never tell.....and neither will she.  And no we don't have a board on Pinterest dedicated to it.  No, we don't.....

In fairness to roasting my sisters, I will share my ultimate geeky move.  One of my absolute favorite movies is Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.  We watched it a LOT when I was growing up and it made me so happy that they saved the humpback whales named George and Gracie.  When I graduated from college I was dirt poor and needed a car.  My parents were kind enough to buy my first car and it was a 1990 gray Buick Century.  It was butt ugly and barely ran, but it was mine.  It was also rusted something fierce and from day one I thought it looked like a beached whale.  So......I named her Gracie.  After the whale.  In Star Trek IV.  Gracie didn't make the move with me to Utah and I made my parents promise that they would take good care of her until she died and would give her a proper send-off.  She was a car.  The whale named Gracie was fictional.  I am a geek.  Deal with it.

When I posed the question "what makes you feel beautiful and geeky all at the same time?" to my social media friends and fans, I received some awesome answers.  Check these out:

J: "Even though my eyes glaze over after 30 seconds of computer speak from my hubby....It's hot to hear a man talk about something more than football and hunting."

J: "Secretly wearing Wonder Woman socks on the day I have my department meeting at work (all men except me) and knowing I could totally take them in a fight"

K: "I read text books (science) when I have/had down time. I teach my girls science jokes and tell them science answers to little kid questions... I have to make my self not answer people when they are talking about why things work the way they do... I finally understand why people didn't like me when I was in hs I was such a know it all... I didn't mean it... I just didn't know how to not answer... yep I'm geek fits me."

A: "I've been known to have a very random memory which pops up with strange facts/tidbits that are completely off topic. Does that qualify as geeky?"

A: "The other day husband's old roommate came over and was taken back by how much I knew Star Wars. He was super freaked out that I got super excited too and husband just sat back smiled and said, "And yes, that's the woman I married. She's just that cool."

S: "Two words: Benedict Cumberbatch."

K: "Having my living room completely surrounded by comic books, posters and pop figures instead of grown up decor."

I received a lot more, but I had to cut them short in the interest of length of this post.  Thank you thank you to everyone who chimed in.  You are all delightfully weird and I LOVE YOU!

A couple of final points to share from the book before I wrap up.  One of the things that I found to be so incredible was the amount of love and support Trevor's friends had for each other and how they instantly LOVED Jen because Trevor loved her.  They didn't care that she looked scary on the outside because they saw her worth from the inside.  It shocked her that they would love her in spite of her scary exterior and it shocked them that she would love them even though they were the school geeks.  That's how life is, my lovelies.  If we will love people for what's on the INSIDE, we will quickly find that their outsides do NOT matter.  I read an article just this evening about a local trans-gender woman who took her own life because she felt no value in her own skin due to bullying and public shaming for her choice in sexual preference.  That is absolutely tragic.  We ALL have worth no matter our circumstances and preferences, whatever they may be.  We are all a little weird and we all struggle, but God intended it to be that way.  That makes life interesting.  I hope that you will take time to appreciate people for their quirks, imperfections and geekery because that's where the beauty lies because that's what makes us different.

The moral of the story:  Flying your geek flag will never go out of style so wave it with pride.

Until next time, my lovelies!
-R

Guest Blogging: Pizza & Fighting Stigmas

Hello, my lovelies!  It's been an exciting summer and beginning of fall for me with lots of great blogs and feedback from all of you!  Among the many adventures, I was asked to guest blog for two blogs.  Please take a moment to read them!

Indie Ogden Utah: Peace. Love. Pizza.  - Business Feature on Lucky Slice Pizza in Ogden, UT.

"If you’ve been on Historic 25th Street you know there are LOTS of great restaurants, however only one of them offers peace, love and pizza to all that come to visit."

LINK TO THIS POST

Stigma Fighters: The Face of Depression.  

"I've often wondered what depression would look like from the inside out.  If we could use a microscope and snap a photo of what it looked like festering and burning inside someone's body......"

LINK TO THIS POST

Thank you for all of your continued support!  This adventure is just as much yours as it is mine!

Keep finding your sunshine!

Until next time, my lovelies!
-R

We Mourn Because We Love: Part 2.

In May, I wrote a post about mourning and it's cankering effects on people and shared personal experiences from some of my dear friends and their own versions of mourning.  The past week has been a very difficult one for me to internalize and the level of mourning has been such that I felt that it was time to revisit the subject and pay tribute to my dear friend and his sweet widow.

This week, I paid my last respects to my friend, Clint.  Clint and I worked together while I was still in banking and very early on he said to me, "you need to know my wife."  Little did he know that those words would mean 8 years of a giant lesson in love, Gardner Village witchy fun, faith, courage, hope and what SOLID MARRIAGES look like.  When I met Clint he told me he was a cancer survivor.  I was shocked that such a fabulous man who was my age had battled an insanely aggressive cancer at the age of 19 and lived to tell about it.  Fast forward 5 years and suddenly Clint and Kamille were receiving the news NO ONE wants to hear; "it's back."  Well shit.  I was still living in Salt Lake at the time and I remember shedding tears and bracing myself for the funeral I never wanted to attend.  What I witnessed was one of the MOST courageous battles to fight cancer that I've ever seen.  Clint and Kamille were the true example of kicking cancer in the ASS (literally -- the cancer's favorite playground was Clint's glute muscles) and not letting it get them down, even though it did.  Did I mention they also have three kiddos?  Watch a short video with their story here:

Kamille has been a trooper.  She has faced the reality of her husband/handsome boyfriend being terminally ill with grace, truth and raw honesty.  She started a blog called "Clint The Cancer Warrior" as well as a Facebook page and the social media community was given a glimpse of many moments: the laughs, the serenity trips to Hawaii and the hours and hours camping at Huntsman Cancer Center with chemo and surgery after surgery after surgery.

So, why talk about mourning again?  Because it is happening to a lot of people that adored Clint.  But, also, I've learned some new things about mourning in the last month.  First of all, when someone has a terminal illness or ailing health, the mourning starts long before the death occurs.  It may not be a full force emotional state, but it starts on some levels.  I compare it to the pain that is under a band-aid that you know you need to rip off, but you're leaving it on because the festering wound under it is invisible with the band-aid in place.  Second, embracing the mourning process also means accepting the facts and embracing the positive with a smile on your face, but the willingness to cry.  Tears are healthy, but so are smiles and positive thoughts.  The third reality of mourning is one that I especially struggle with and that is the utter sense of empathy that is felt in my heart for Kamille.  I know from first-hand experiences that Clint was a true gentleman who ADORED his wife.  He was also a first rate father.  In Mormon theology we are taught that families are together forever, but how does anyone attempt to believe that when the only human you can't live without is suddenly gone? It's hard.  Really really hard.  The faith comes in facing each day as it comes.  I wrote a guest blog post this week and compared the recovery from depression and being a support for others to a lighthouse standing bright to light the way for those who are still out to sea.  I would also say that the same applies to mourning.  If you are someone who has been affected by a loss to cancer or the death of a spouse, comment below or reach out to Kamille on her social media sites. I know she would greatly appreciate the added support and words of encouragement.

The moral of the story: Saying good bye to a hero hurts, but the legacy will continue.  Clint was such a stalwart example and will never be far from our hearts.

Until next time, my lovelies.
-R

P.S.

Below is a video that Kamille posted on YouTube just three days after Clint passed away.   It shows the true face of her love for Clint and the sadness that she feels for his passing.  It's a tear-jerker.  To donate to Kamille and her sweet babes, please follow this LINK.