It's seems like yesterday that my wickedly hilarious and talented friend, Sarah Boucher published her first book entitled "Becoming Beauty." She is the Ethel to my crazy brand of Lucy and I'm excited to be here again as the final installment of the blog tour for her second book, "Midnight Sisters: A Retelling of the Twelve Dancing Princesses."
I have to admit that this time around has been a bittersweet experience for me because I'm no longer the next door neighbor/redheaded bestie who lives all the excitement in real-time. I'm the living-two-states-away friend and so my perspective has been different. In my last blog tour post, I gave you a behind-the-scenes perspective of the incredibly hard work it is to be traditionally published. With "Becoming Beauty", I became Sarah's unofficial marketing director and worked for cookies...no joke. This time around, I've been on the other end of texts, emails and Facebook instant messages as Sarah forged new trails in her author career. The trail of a self-publishing author is completely different than being picked up by a publisher. As is customary for the sassy redheaded friend, I am going to give you the bits and pieces of info that show you how much work Sarah has put in to making this book happen. And......I'm giving you the magic bribery cookie recipe because let's be honest; it's January which is the month in which carbs, chocolate and Diet Coke solve most issues.
My professional background includes marketing, small business branding, social media management and impromptu business owner therapy sessions. I've seen a lot of business owners start from the ground up and create a brand and product that is epic. Sarah's brand is no exception. You may not know this, but by day Sarah is an educator of 5 year-olds. That alone deserves an award of two (or ten), but being a self-published author on top of it deserves some platinum pretties from Tiffany's. My brain is always crunching numbers about which option provides less overhead, but also less stress, and self-publishing is probably not the answer. However, Sarah had a lot more control over elements that mattered to her and I think that has been good for her. First and foremost, the stunning cover art is by her talented cousin, Cindy and Sarah called ALL the shots and attended the photo shoot that inspired this art. I mean, let's just collectively sigh at this one:
When a business owner, no matter their trade, can have control of the look and feel of their product from day one, it makes a HUGE difference. Sarah wrote the words and she wanted to make sure the cover matched the voice and emotion that resides inside that cover. I think you'll find that it absolutely matches. It's magical and so wonderful.
I asked Sarah what she's loved and loathed about self-publishing. Here are her musings about the aspects she loved, "I loved having control over the when and the what of publishing. I set up my own schedule and didn't have to wait until I fit into a publishing schedule because someone's a cooler author and they got a primo spot, so I'm scheduled for further and further out. I also loved controlling what was in my novel. My book was in review with a publisher for a long time and in the end they suggested turning in into LDS Fiction. While that may have been advantageous from a marketing standpoint, I didn't feel that it did justice to my novel or my writing style. Instead, I worked hand-in-hand with a professional editor and I had the last say about everything from story arc to chapter headings. I really enjoyed that collaborative process."
The loathing sounded like this, "The aspect of self-publishing I found most challenging was the formatting. Last time I handed them a Word document and they did the rest. This time I had to turn it into what you read. And that wasn't easy. Luckily, I had tech gurus on my side who would work for dinner. So there's that. A lot of self-publishing is like shooting into the dark. You're not quite sure where the target is or how to hit it, but you try and try again until you figure it out."
As I've been working on this post Sarah and I have been instant messaging on Facebook and she further reiterated that control over the design of the cover has meant a ton to her as well as the beautiful formatting inside the book. There is an added element of involvement and investment that has accompanied this book because it was self-published.
In spite of my flee from the 'hood and next door to Chez Boucher, I am still so proud of Sarah and her accomplishment to have book number two on the grid. Buy this book TODAY. Buy it for your daughter, buy it for your book club. Sarah doesn't miss a detail and "Midnight Sisters: A Retelling of the Twelve Dancing Princesses." will steal a piece of your heart.
Last, but not least, and as promised, I happily share Ethel's delicious bribery chocolate chip cookies with you. They say the magic ingredient is a pudding mix, but I'm pretty sure it's LLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVE. Break out your best vintage apron and expensive chocolate and make these stat. They are my favorite!! Click on the graphic below and hit the print button!
The moral of the story: Hard work pays off. Don't ever give up on your dreams and make cookies on the days when you feel like your dreams are being smothered. Cookies make everything better.
Last week I mentioned that I recently finished reading the book, "The Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person" by Shonda Rhimes. What an incredibly inspiring book! I couldn't take notes fast enough, but I managed to jot down some of the things she wrote that really struck chords inside my soul. It is kind of surreal what has transpired in my life since I listened to this book because much of what she said about taking risks and being brave is now applying to me on so many levels.
Shonda Rhimes is one of the most successful, smartest, bad ass women in Hollywood. She is the genius behind McSteamy, McDreamy (MY personal favorite and totally on the Top 5 Hotties List) and some of the most poignant and deeply passionate fictional characters on ABC television. But, did you know that she is also an introvert of extreme proportions, a single mother of 3 daughters through adoption, and her best friend is actually one of her television characters? 'Tis true. She is just as deeply complex as her television characters and that is why her shows are so popular across the demographics. Here are a few things I picked up while listening to the audio book.
Parties make everything better. If you are a frequent viewer of Shonda's shows, you know that she is big on parties. There is always a reason for celebration and a reason to dance, even if it is surviving a long grueling day in the ER of Seattle Grace. This philosophy on life stems from Shonda's childhood. She grew up in a very loving family with a mom and dad who were the poster-perfect sweethearts and parents and they always had a reason for celebration. I also love a good reason to celebrate and find comfort in a good party, even if it is something as simple as a tasty drink and delicious dinner out with friends after a challenging day of life. There is always always a reason to celebrate. We can celebrate living each day we open our eyes again.
The nothingness of terror stole all the fun. Because of her intense introverted personality, Shonda turned down countless interviews and appearances because her fear paralyzed her ability to do something new. She was WELL in to her television empire with Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice before she had this epiphany year of yes. When she decided that she would say yes to life, it also meant that she had to face her fear and start stepping out of her comfort zone and making appearances to promote and celebrate her success. One of the first scheduled appearances was speaking at her Alma Mater, Dartmouth College, for their commencement exercises. I was able to listen to the live version of this in the audio book and it brought tears to my eyes. I was driving across east Idaho and almost had to pull over just to listen and cry. I have felt a lot of fear and unrest in the last 2 years of my life. Even in the last 2 weeks of my life, I've thought "what the hell just happened....PLOT TWIST!" We can all do hard things even when we think we are completely incapable of doing it.
Here is the YouTube video of Shonda's address at Dartmouth. Please take the time to watch it. It is amazing.
Power pose like Wonder Woman.This was such a hilarious part of the book. She gave numerous "statistics" about standing in the position of power like Wonder Woman does when she is about to save the world. She was 100% sure that it had changed the course of her own life and I have since tried it and I know that it helped me feel like I could accomplish a few lofty tasks. Life is hard, but hard is relative. Many times we are faced with trials that may seem similar, but really they are 100% different. I am feeling this on a very personal level right now and I can attest to my current challenges being so very different than the others. Yes, the common denominator is there, but the circumstances and surroundings are different and much much better in more ways than they are worse. Life is WAY hard, but somehow, the hard part seems to diminish itself when we turn to our tribe and to God to carry us on the days when we just can't do it anymore. I am so grateful for a tribe that includes some new faces and lacks some others. The level of difficulty of life is truly relative and it eases up when we turn over our faith to God and let others serve us in small, but simple ways as well as in very large, critical ways. Lemons to lemonade can mean so many different things depending on the time of day, the severity of the trial and the types of people we are surrounded by as we keep swimming.
Find a cause you love, focus on something outside of yourself; hashtags aren't a movement. She spent a lot of time talking about finding a cause that you are passionate about and changing the world. She was very specific in stating that just because we hashtag a photo on social media for a cause does NOT mean that we are moving mountains to improve something. We need to get out of our seats, open our mouths and help others around us who have it far worse than we do. This is such an important part of my life. I am a non-profit guru because I have felt the immense healing power that comes when I step outside my complicated brain and look for ways to help others. If there is cause to aide at-risk children, I am on it. My mamma bear instincts are fiercely present in my non-profit work because I know that it is so important to protect our rising generation and it also fills a void in my heart as I wait to be a mom to my own kiddos. The air you are breathing is rare air; appreciate it. Every day is a gift from God. For those of us who live in countries that are modernized we often take for granted the gift it is to breathe clean air. We are so damn lucky to live in peace and harmony with medical care that is as advanced as its ever been and to have clean tap water and food that doesn't rot our insides. We are damn lucky to have the opportunity to vote, get a post-secondary education and work in occupations that require us to use our brains. As you read this blog, there are men, women and children who are starving and laying their heads on dirt floors wondering if they will wake up tomorrow, will have food to eat and if their babies will live another day in such dire circumstances. There are women who are self mutilating their reproductive organs so they don't bleed anymore and lose their jobs because they are unable to have the sanitation products to remedy their condition. There are orphans who spend countless nights wondering if anyone will ever love them and care for them other than some strangers in the other room. Thank your lucky stars for the rare air you breathe.
You find your magic and I'll find mine. How many times have you got stuck in the vortex of unsolicited opinions? The trip to Target that should take 10 minutes and mean peace in the dollar bins section turns in to 20 questions about why you're not breast feeding your next baby? Or, my absolute FAVORITE, when asked why you aren't dating anyone or starting a family and that time is ticking and you won't have as much time to make babies if you don't get to it. So, ya, here's the deal....according to Shonda.....we all need to have the attitude of "you find your magic and I'll find mine." As you can imagine, a woman who has willingly chosen to be a single parent through adoption has had her fair share of unwelcome opinions. She finally got to the point that she had to say, "I'm living my life and you live yours." This has been a really life-changing philosophy for me since I went to organized therapy. I have a few souls in my life, who will remain nameless, who have bombarded me with opinion over the years. As if their spewing nonsense is a magic equation that will change the course of my life. I am doing the best I can and so are you so how about we support each other and love each other unconditionally and live how we see fit.
It's not diversity; it's called normalizing. This portion of the book was one that really struck chords for me. She talked about an awards ceremony that she spoke at which honored diversity in the LGBT community as portrayed on television and in the movies. During the speech she said that many times people have thanked and praised her for writing television characters that are so diverse, complex, twisted and vulnerable. She also said that she will correct people and say that she is not bringing diversity to television, but she is normalizing television. She is bringing to her viewers what they see in actual life. She is bringing characters who struggle with sexuality, PTSD, infertility, death, birth, alcoholism, addiction and the list goes on and on and on. THAT is life. THAT is our reality. We are HUMANS with beating hearts. We all struggle. We all wish we had something better. Her goal in each of her shows is to not just have the token black alcoholic who is in senior management of a hospital, or a gay Republican who can't admit who he loves or an Asian feminist who finds the most satisfaction in her career, not a relationship or even the Caucasian dream boat who may be a pretty face, but is just as imperfect as his seemingly less attractive counterparts. She portrays people as they are in actual life. She wants people to feel that their tribe is waiting when they turn on the TV on Thursday nights or as they're binge watching on Netflix. To further explain this point, I found a outstanding video of Kerry Washington speaking about her experience working in ShondaLand (the name of Shonda Rhimes' company) that I thought explained this philosophy so beautifully. It is much shorter than the commencement address from above, so please take six minutes to watch it.
Hate diminishes, love expands. As a black female, Shonda is very familiar with the hate that is ever present when people who are different are in the room. As a child she was often bullied and mocked for her weirdness and her coping mechanism was writing. She often found solace in her characters and would sort out her thoughts by writing characters that were dealing with similar struggles. I'm a big advocate for journaling in the therapy and coping process for similar reasons. I have calmed my brain down many times by writing out the "plot" of my life and the characters in it and sorting out the story on paper. Somehow doing it on paper and pulling it out of my brain makes it turn from an emotional thought to an analytical equation that I will either solve or will not solve. I thank God daily for a therapist that encouraged me to journal this way because it has served me well many times over the years. Shonda's favorite character is Cristina Yang from Grey's Anatomy. The reasons are many and I won't give it all away because the insight she shares about Cristina are really beautiful and you should read the book! But, I will say this, it made so much more sense why she wrote Cristina as a fiercely driven and passionate feminist because she needed a way to sort her own thoughts. She also shared that Cristina was one of her best friends over the years because her plot lines helped Shonda work through a lot of her personal struggles.
I hope that we can all take something from these thoughts from The Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person" by Shonda Rhimes. Upon finishing this book, it promptly went on my list of "MUST listen to annually" books because it had a zen-like power on my brain because I related to her struggles and passion very much. Life is dang hard, but life is also so beautiful and full of love and simple joys.
The moral of the story: Keep fighting, keep speaking your mind for the causes you love, and keep saying yes to life!
Until next time, my lovelies!
-R
Be sure to check out the biz side of "Let It Be & Celebrate" by visiting www.beyoudesignsut.co
Not long ago I was talking about riding on the terror-inducing roller coaster at Lagoon and how I looked my fears in the face and with my best friend by my side, said 'why the hell not?' and took my first (and maybe last) ride.
Well, my life's meaning and its SUPER chain of events, twists and turns continues, but I am happy to report that I CAN see my silver linings -- plural. Why you ask? A boatload of faith, prayer and a heightened understanding of finding meaning in life because I read the book "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl.
I was raised in a very devout Mormon family, but I was blessed to be exposed to a number of different religions and their beliefs and lifestyles. I've always been fascinated by the intense devotion that is shown by Catholics, Jews and Muslims, to name a few. For me, I always thought my religion had a lot to embrace and keep track of to be a "good Mormon" but I was and continue to be inspired by my friends who are devout to their beliefs. Judaism, in particular, is a religion that has always peeked my interest. Maybe it's because of "Fiddler on The Roof" or Ross Gellar singing "Dreidel, Dreidel" in an aardvark costume, but it's probably because of my extensive research of the second World War and the persecution towards the Jewish people. When my lovely friend Amanda recommended this book I was going through a royal shit storm of all shit storms. She shared with me that this book was written by a Jewish psychiatrist who survived living in the Nazi concentration camps and wrote this book to share his theories on coping and survival under the bleakest of circumstances. At the time I tried to read it and the raw, tragic details and realities of the concentration camps was just too much. However, I was not in the right place and when I was faced with the last curve ball of my life, I picked the book up and hardly put it down. I could write a LOT about the wonderful gems that caught my eye, but I will only cover a few to wet your whistle. I told Amanda that this book was like a good solid therapy session for me.
When I was reading this book I had to have a pen handy so I could underline all the things I wanted to remember. I rarely share my books with another person because I don't want their mind to be drawn away from what it's supposed to glean from the words because the reader is looking at my notes. Above is a quote that is truly profound. Transforming our personal tragedies into triumphs. What does that even mean? Where on earth can we find the triumph in losing a job unexpectedly, a spouse losing the brave, warrior fight with cancer, or a child going to heaven before it could come home from the hospital with his mom and dad? How? Well, that's where the miracle comes into play. What I have found for me is a chat with myself (and then God, in prayer) that goes something like this, "I am so not thrilled with how this has turned out, however, I know that there is a reason. Even though I can't see the reason this very second because I'm a sniveling, crying mess, I'm still going to tell myself that it was with reason." Dr. Frankl talks about this a lot in his book...hence the title....and he often referenced people he knew in concentration camps who could bear gruesome conditions and brutality none of us can imagine because their lot in life was to find triumph in the tragedy. I can't even imagine. To say I was humbled by the stories he told would be an understatement.
Life really is a time for us to take control and work it out. I hate to say it, but sometimes we just have to put on our tough kid cape and deal like a super hero. Many times dealing means having a brutal, yet loving reality check with ourselves (and God, in my case) and then using our brains to decipher the emotions from the solutions and then move forward. As much as I would LOVE to lay in my bed with the covers over my head, I know that can only last so long before I go way cray and say to myself, "ok, Raylynn, you need to adult. Like for reals, not the fake kind." No matter our religious background or belief in a certain God, we all have a soul and a spirit inside of us that speaks to our heart and gives us the direction we need to live life to its fullest. Dr. Frankl talked about prisoners who would get very creative with what little they had to cope and survive. He talked about the brain's ability to survive WAY more than we think it can because we have an innate sense of survival as human beings. Absolutely beautiful, if you ask me and I've experienced it more times than I care to admit.
The will to live. For many it is difficult. For many it is impossible. It is tragic when someone is in a situation with the perception that their life is worthless. What can we do to find the will when life is dark and sad and hopeless? What did the concentration camp prisoners do? They hid photos of their kids and spouses in their clothes, but most times they played mental videos of their perfect life at home. It broke my heart to read the accounts of men (he only referenced men because they were segregated in the camps) who would talk about their beautiful wives and children and their homes and warm beds almost constantly. Even in their delusional, malnourished state, they could almost always remember bits and pieces of the life they had before they were imprisoned. He gave some staggering statistics about the survival rates of men who kept their brain and heart moving by remembering the "good old times" vs. the men who gave up and had a bad attitude and no hope for survival. Our ultimate goal in life is to have the why so we can survive the how. Why do you live? Who do you live for? The first thing that popped in my mind were the four little humans who call me aunt. They are my sunshine and I am forever grateful that God has blessed me to be a part of their lives. I live for them. I absolutely do. I also live for my future children who deserve to have a mother who was tough as nails in crappy, hard times and didn't give up.
As I said before, I wish I could share every single note and thought I had while I read this book, but then you wouldn't have a reason to read it and that is not OK. If I haven't convinced you to read this amazing little book yet, I hope this last thought will. The perfect race. Ugh. It breaks my heart over and over when I think about the underlying cause for the concentration camps and why Hitler's reign was one of the most tragic events in history. In his mind, he had somehow deduced that there was only one perfect race and that Jews were not included. How's that for a holocaust definition in one sentence? Dr. Frankl shared his theory on race by dividing it in to two: decent and indecent. In a very real sense he saw this day after day in the concentration camps. There were extremely indecent Nazi soldiers who did inhumane things to the prisoners, but there were also those who were still human with hearts and took risks to help those prisoners they were keen on. Additionally, there were decent and indecent Jews living in the camps. Those who held the hand of their fellow prisoner when he was dying of a contagious fever so he didn't feel alone when he passed away. We are constantly bombarded with labels. I'm a better person because I have this or I attend this church or I have this skin color or I have this sexual preference. Stop that. Stop it now. Are you a decent human being or aren't you? That's the real question and we should all be able to give the answer for ourselves.
I am a better person for reading this book about the meaning of life and how those who had it far worse than I ever will found a way to embrace their triumph in the midst of tragedy. I say it over and over that we can do hard things but it is TRUE! Put those reminders on the bathroom mirror that life will turn out for the better and that God has a plan and say them out loud to yourself every single time you see them.
The moral of the story: Figure out your why so that you can survive the how. Have a prayer in your heart that the peace will reside inside while the chaos continues outside. Keep the faith. Don't give up.
A wise friend once told me, "we're all a little weird, Raylynn, and it's ok." He was totally right and I find myself saying that out loud a lot. My most recent read was a delightful and adorably geeky book called "Geek Girl" by Utah author Cindy C. Bennett. My discovery of this completely adorable geeky book (did I say that already?) was in the mecca of all geekdom, Salt Lake Comic Con 2015. Cindy is one of Sarah Boucher's fellow author comrades and she had told me about this book briefly so I had to check it out. I could not put it down. It was well-written, hilarious, raw and just plain sweet.
The main character of the book is a girl named Jen. She has been bounced through the foster care system and as a result has become jaded. She is angry at her reality and hides behind goth clothing, dark make-up and hangs out with the school's finest hooligans. One day she meets a cute geeky boy named Trevor and has a brilliant idea that she is going to lure him to the "dark side" and rough him up a bit and win a bet with her catty goth gal pals. It's not too long after spending time with Trevor that she falls under his spell of geekdom which is also known as being genuine, kind and passionately interested in Sci-Fi films. The story that unfolds is so beautiful because Jen realizes that in spite of his geeky ways, Trevor is a good soul and she falls in love with his genuine heart. As a result of spending countless hours trying to "change him" she soon notices that her own heart softens and she becomes braver and unravels some emotional messes of her own and begins a long overdue healing process.
This story line is not uncommon in real life with Ray. I have a number of women in my close circle of friends who are geeks to the core. I mean the whole enchilada geek 101. I also have some friends who are married to geeks to the core. Men who make Luke Skywalker look like a pansy. I adore all of them and their goof ball husbands so I wanted to showcase some of their delightfully beautiful ways so that we can celebrate the ridiculous awesomeness that is geekery. I think that you will find that geeks really do have more fun.
Before we can dive deep in to the land of my friends, I have to embarrass my sisters first. It goes without being said that the three of us (and our ruffian brother) were raised in a thoroughly geeky home. We HEART Star Wars and Star Trek and Super Man (Reeve and Cain) and have WAY too many Rocky movies in our stewardship. Thus, I blow their cover first. I won't reveal which sister it is, but if you know us, you'll probably figure it out.
Sister #2 is married and when I asked her to share some of her quirky geekdoms, she sent me a scripted story that she and her husband had drafted. I laughed and laughed. I will share a small excerpt for your reading pleasure. They crack me up. A LOT. She is also a geek about drinks that are blue, Rocky movies and talking in dog voice (like if her dog could talk, what would he say). Anyway.....
MOVIE DATE NIGHT AT HOME
Husband: What kind of movie are you in the mood for?
Sister: I don't know, either a comedy or action film.
[Husband flips through Netflix, makes about 30 suggestions...]
Sister: Let's watch a documentary.
We watch a documentary.
Every. Single. Time.
Sister #3 is a beautiful Whovian. She puts us all to SHAME with her knowledge of Doctor Who. In spite of raising her children with Star Trek and Star Wars, our mother just can't quite grasp the doctor and daleks and flying police boxes. Odd? Probably? Relevant? Doubtful. Sister #3 is also a fan of the hipster lifestyle and digs the dudes with beards. She may have contracted that by osmosis from her older sister, but I'll never tell.....and neither will she. And no we don't have a board on Pinterest dedicated to it. No, we don't.....
In fairness to roasting my sisters, I will share my ultimate geeky move. One of my absolute favorite movies is Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. We watched it a LOT when I was growing up and it made me so happy that they saved the humpback whales named George and Gracie. When I graduated from college I was dirt poor and needed a car. My parents were kind enough to buy my first car and it was a 1990 gray Buick Century. It was butt ugly and barely ran, but it was mine. It was also rusted something fierce and from day one I thought it looked like a beached whale. So......I named her Gracie. After the whale. In Star Trek IV. Gracie didn't make the move with me to Utah and I made my parents promise that they would take good care of her until she died and would give her a proper send-off. She was a car. The whale named Gracie was fictional. I am a geek. Deal with it.
When I posed the question "what makes you feel beautiful and geeky all at the same time?" to my social media friends and fans, I received some awesome answers. Check these out:
J: "Even though my eyes glaze over after 30 seconds of computer speak from my hubby....It's hot to hear a man talk about something more than football and hunting."
J: "Secretly wearing Wonder Woman socks on the day I have my department meeting at work (all men except me) and knowing I could totally take them in a fight"
K: "I read text books (science) when I have/had down time. I teach my girls science jokes and tell them science answers to little kid questions... I have to make my self not answer people when they are talking about why things work the way they do... I finally understand why people didn't like me when I was in hs I was such a know it all... I didn't mean it... I just didn't know how to not answer... yep I'm geek fits me."
A: "I've been known to have a very random memory which pops up with strange facts/tidbits that are completely off topic. Does that qualify as geeky?"
A: "The other day husband's old roommate came over and was taken back by how much I knew Star Wars. He was super freaked out that I got super excited too and husband just sat back smiled and said, "And yes, that's the woman I married. She's just that cool."
S: "Two words: Benedict Cumberbatch."
K: "Having my living room completely surrounded by comic books, posters and pop figures instead of grown up decor."
I received a lot more, but I had to cut them short in the interest of length of this post. Thank you thank you to everyone who chimed in. You are all delightfully weird and I LOVE YOU!
A couple of final points to share from the book before I wrap up. One of the things that I found to be so incredible was the amount of love and support Trevor's friends had for each other and how they instantly LOVED Jen because Trevor loved her. They didn't care that she looked scary on the outside because they saw her worth from the inside. It shocked her that they would love her in spite of her scary exterior and it shocked them that she would love them even though they were the school geeks. That's how life is, my lovelies. If we will love people for what's on the INSIDE, we will quickly find that their outsides do NOT matter. I read an article just this evening about a local trans-gender woman who took her own life because she felt no value in her own skin due to bullying and public shaming for her choice in sexual preference. That is absolutely tragic. We ALL have worth no matter our circumstances and preferences, whatever they may be. We are all a little weird and we all struggle, but God intended it to be that way. That makes life interesting. I hope that you will take time to appreciate people for their quirks, imperfections and geekery because that's where the beauty lies because that's what makes us different.
The moral of the story: Flying your geek flag will never go out of style so wave it with pride.
Becoming a woman. A loaded statement if there ever was one. I sometimes think back on my childhood and how I dreamt for my own money and the ability to choose and cook my own food and what clothes I wore all the time. Ha! What little I knew. Adulting is hard! It has its perks aka no curfew on Fridays or pizza for breakfast, but overall, the trade for the opportunity to pay bills and fix my car and do my own laundry isn't worth an unsupervised all-nighter and carb overloaded brunch from time-to-time.
Throughout my career vacation and book reading extravaganza, I've been inspired and moved by the characters I've met in each book. The most recent book that really touched me was "The Boston Girl" by Anita Diamant. The themes, tragedies and triumphs of this story brought me to tears and had me laughing just a bit, but overall it made me SO grateful to be a woman in an era when the quest for equality is present and mutual respect for women of any status is encouraged. The women in this story lived during a time when their vote and their voice didn't matter and it wasn't easy.
The story takes place in the early 1900's in Boston. Boston. I heart Boston. I'm convinced a piece of my heart still lives in Boston. I visited while I was in college and it is a magical city. The history, food (Cheers! - be still my heart), waterfront view, energy and cute Harvard boys rowing on the river all the time made it basically my heaven. I loved every minute of being there. For this small town girl, the Boston version of city life was and is one that I dream of often. One of the best parts of Boston is the historical district. I caught a glimpse of it when I went to Cheers! to have dinner one evening. Big, beautiful Victorian homes that took my breath away. I would love to say that the characters in the book were residents of these types of homes, but they were not. They were a blue-collar Jewish family that did everything they could to survive living in their sufficient and very small flat.
Whenever I read a book I always look for themes that I can use in my own life and possibly a future blog post (nerd alert). This book is full of themes that struck me to the core: women's rights, depression, death and mourning, religious respect and equality, family history and love. Never ever forget the love.
The main character of the book is a grandmother who is giving her granddaughter a personal history of her life as a young Jewish girl in a family that had its struggles and much happiness. As I read this book I thought of my own grandmothers and what they would tell me about being a young woman in their day and age. What did they worry about? What mattered to them? What boys were they kissing before they met my grandfathers? What was their love story and how did they know they had finally met the one they were going to marry?
There were a couple of specific quotes that I wanted to share with all of you and why they were memorable for me. I won't tell you where they lie in the grand scheme of the book so there is still an element of surprise for the plot.
"When I look at my eighty-five-year-old face in the mirror today, I think, "You're never going to look better than you do today honey, so smile." Whoever said a smile is the best face-lift was one smart woman." This is beautiful. There are so so so so many days that smiling is the last thing we want to do. How do we keep a smile on our face when we've had a major disappointment? How do we smile through the tears when we've lost a loved one? How do we smile when the bank account is depleted and the fridge is empty and the car needs gas? Well, we just do. Fake it to make it. If we really got technical and scientific, we would talk about the fact that there are muscles in our face that need stretching just as much as those everywhere else. Stretch them, my lovelies! Put a smile on your face and embrace the beauties and blessings of your life even amidst the storms.
"She said she felt better talking to someone she could see, someone who cared about her. "The time I almost died in that bathtub, what kept me going was the look on your face and Irene's and that wonderful nurse. I could see how worried you were, not angry or disappointed. You just didn't want me to die. And afterward, too, you never looked at me with anything but love: no pity, no judgement. You made it possible for me to forgive myself." Phew. I so wish I could tell you the story behind this, but you'll have to read the book to understand the significance of this statement. Even typing it brought a lump to my throat. In my own life, I have been immensely blessed with so many kind, patient friends and family members who have stood in front of me and embraced me and proved to me how much they cared. In our insanely BUSY and technology-driven world, it is very easy to shoot someone a text and tell them we care, but the human-in-front-of-human interactions are SO critical. I loved the reference to looking at someone with 'anything but love.' That is a magical moment, no matter the relationship or its status. The connection that one can feel when their friend, family member, lover looks at them to convey their compassion is electric. It can save the day. It can calm the heart and soothe the soul. When was the last time you felt that electricity in your own life? Thank the person. Hug them back. Say, "I love you."
"Women used to think we were supposed to act as if nothing had happened, as if losing a baby you wanted wasn't a big deal. And if you did say something, people told you that you'd forget all about it when you have a healthy baby. I wanted to punch them all in the face." When I wrote my blog post "In My Life" I talked about some conversations I had that inspired me to write the post. One of those was a conversation with my dear friend who has multiple angel babies waiting for her in heaven. This week I witnessed the pain that is being felt by another friend who is facing the one year anniversary of her angel baby returning to heaven. Women are still facing the grief and pain that surrounds bearing and losing children. Medical advances are vast compared to 1925, but pregnancy and birth is still risky business and takes great faith. I commend my darling friends for their great strength and faith as they face their life of saying the number of pregnancies vs. living children.
"The Boston Girl" is a book that I will not forget for a long time. It gave me a perspective and appreciation for becoming a woman. I am LUCKY to have a vote, a voice, an education and a career that I enjoy. I am also LUCKY to have my health and an understanding of how I can cope on the days that aren't so easy.
The moral of the story: Becoming a woman in 2015 hasn't changed much from 1925. The scenery and fashion has changed, but ultimately, we still have trials and triumphs and hope for sunshine and happiness after the storm. Keep looking life in the face with love. Never EVER forget the love.
The Ray's Reading Extravaganza continues and this past week I finished the book entitled "The American Heiress" by Daisy Goodwin. If you've read my other book review posts this summer you've gathered that I've read some pretty random books, but every single one of them has provided me with laughter, tears, and a LOAD of compelling themes a.k.a. food for thought and blog topics!
"The American Heiress" had my attention when I saw that it would attract the "Downton Abbey" fan....guilty as charged so why not read it? It was also a longer read than anything else I've read this summer so I knew it would take me more than a week to finish it. I tend to get a bit of teenager ADD when I read books and after page 250, it better be damn good with great character voice and plot or I won't finish the book. Wouldn't you know it, this book got juicy at about page 225 so I was hooked until the end.
The premise of this story is one that is common to the origins of 19th Century aristocracy and birthright; women married for money, a title, a big house (manor) and prayed like crazy that they would birth a male heir so that they weren't homeless and penniless after their husbands passed away. They didn't vote or work for a wage; they birthed, shopped and had tea with their stuffy neighbors. If you're a Downton Abbey junkie, you know that Mary, the eldest daughter, is on the hot trail to marry a semi-decent titled man who can take over the estate so that she can continue to live the high life that she's had since birth. This book is the same gig. An American heiress, Cora Cash, sets out to marry a English man (cue the swoony music because he'll have an accent) because she wants to be that kind of woman: the woman who marries a man who needs her money, but has a little of his own (and a title) when she finds him so she is set in society and can keep her mother happy.
I'm not going to lie, I struggle with the facts of pre-women's rights days. I hate reading about women who were exiled because they could only birth daughters and women who had severe eating disorders because they were condemned to a marriage that was a political alliance and not two people in love joining in matrimony to have a fulfilling life and family together. As I read this book, I was oddly haunted by a lot of cultural expectations that still exist among women of the modern age. Yes, I know that you can totally go against the grain and do it your own way, but there are a lot of cultural standards that are still set and expected to be adhered to by religions and other sets of standards. I, myself, having been raised in the Mormon Church, have felt insanely ridiculous pressure to marry for the resume and not the human. I have friends who have been raised in other religious sects who have felt much of the same pressure. To that, I say "what the hell?" This is 2015, people. Life is short, it should be sweet and ENJOYED. We claim that we are on our way to equality, but are we? At what point will it be OK to say, "I'm exercising my right to be treated as an equal in a marriage by not forcing myself to marry random dude so-and-so because he asked and he seems to be a pretty OK choice and can provide me with a wedding in the church (temple) and he has a job that will pay our bills." Holy run-on sentence, but HOLY reality of life.
After the Supreme Court ruled for the equality of marriage earlier this year, I cheered. I cheered because I thought, there has to be more of a mentality for equality in ALL things and if the right to marry whoever you want, male or female, is the start then hear hear...I'll toast to that! I am a LOVER of the men, but I was so happy to see some movement for choices that served the masses. Women (and men) all over the world live in agony and abuse and a web of lies because they are living with relationships, both marital and professional, that are completely illegal, ridiculous and/or avoidable.
As "The American Heiress" continued there was a constant looming hunch that Cora's husband, the duke, was somehow being unfaithful to her. The social expectation (shudder) was that most men who were in politically driven marriages had a mistress on the side aka they were sleeping with the one who lit their fire while producing heirs with the one who was living in their castle and shared a sir name. Super awesome. Cora is constantly wondering if she is doing enough to please her husband and provide him with happiness at home so that he doesn't feel the need to take a mistress, if he hasn't already. I have to give props to the author because she had me guessing right until the end as to the correct answer. The moving pieces from all angles were nail-biting. As I've thought about these themes since finishing the book, I've come to these conclusions, or sealed what I already knew:
I am SO grateful I was not born a rich girl. As much as I would love to not have a care in the financial world, I will take being poor, with substance, fidelity and true love, any day.
We have a lot of work to do to be truly equal in relationships. We think we are liberal, but mentally we are still programmed to be submissive in some areas. Stop that. Embrace that you are a contributing human being to society for more than being the 9 month holding tank for humans.
No matter what, we deserve to be in relationships with someone who is QUALITY not quantity. I bet if we could conduct an interview with Diana, the Princess of Wales, we would have all sort of facts to back this statement up. God rest her soul because she went through so much to be hitched to the carriage of a royal. Her consolation, as she watches from heaven, is a son who married the untitled woman he loved and has been an incredibly amazing husband and father, unlike his dad.
I hope that my musings on marriage and equality will provide a glimmer of hope and inspiration to someone out there who feels the pressure to marry for quantity over quality. If we are believers in true destiny, whether it be that which is provided by God or karma, then HOLD OUT to the day when your Gilbert Blythe comes walking through the door to love you til the day he dies and treats you like the incredible, smart, sassy lady that you are through and through.
The moral of the story: We deserve equality. Lean in, stand up, speak up, don't settle and make it happen.
Hello, my lovelies! How's the last month of your life been? Mine? Sorta not my favorite, but lemons to lemonade has translated to LOTS of leisure reading; enough that I can now bestow a 2nd edition of Beachy Reads & Sunshine Dreams to all of you. *curtsy curtsy* If you read my original post you know that these reads are defined as those that can be taken on vacation (preferably on the beach with no cell service) and read while laying in the sun. They can also be defined as those that make vacation sweeter, not more stressful. Got it? So, let's get to the real information.
1. Love Walked In By Marisa De Los Santos: This book had been gathering dust on my nightstand for MONTHS and I honestly don't remember where I bought it....I think the second hand store, but I can't confirm. Either way, I thought I better give it a shot so that I knew I didn't waste the money I had spent on it. Really cute read. Very very funny narrator voice that sucked me in from the first chapter until the end of the book. This book is also told from two different views and those are my FAVORITE as referenced HERE. It's an unexpected love story that has some plots turns that you won't see coming. I don't know if the maternal relationship that occurs between the two narrators drug me in (likely) or the funny prose, but either way I enjoyed it a lot.
2. Heaven Help Us By Herbert Tarr: This book. HYSTERICAL. I found it in a very large pile of old books when I was visiting my friend's family and their community book fair. This book is the Jewish version of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" meets "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever." I could NOT stop laughing. I will admit it took me longer to get through this book, but only because I tend to read the books to myself out loud in my head and rabbi man voice didn't come as easy as froo froo lady voice. Overall, I was so glad I read it because I laughed and laughed at the cultural differences that exist in the religion of Judaism, but also the era it was writtnen (1960's). When the most scandalous event of the book is a fashion show among the church ladies and they model bikinis and crop shirts I thought I was going to fall out of my chair.
3. Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart By Beth Patillo: This book is the 2nd of a trilogy of books that the author has written with a Jane Austen theme. I discovered that she had written more when I was trolling through a local library. I was really pleased to know that she had written more books because I LOVED her first book, "Jane Austen Ruined My Life" which I talked about in the first edition post. I admit, I'm a total Darcy LOVER and I was semi-skeptical that she would make him into the bad guy. It provided some deep thought on how and why the characters were written in the original novel and was a great story and light read.
4. The Dashwood Sisters Tell All by Beth Patillo: The third and final book written in the trilogy and by far my favorite. I will tell you that you can easily read any one of Ms. Patillo's books and not get lost as to how she shapes her plots around Jane Austen's original characters. They are modern tales and the plot line in this one really spoke to me. For those of you who have read and/or watched "Sense & Sensibility" you'll know that the sisterly relationship isn't always favorable. In fact the younger sister gets really tired of her older sister being the bossy pants regarding her love life and inheritance prospects, etc. etc. etc.....in case you were unsure...that's all that mattered then (TOTALLY different feminist-laden topic for another day). I will openly admit that my relationship with my next youngest sister has had it's really rocky patches, but we have mended and our friendship is one that I value so greatly. It also doesn't hurt that she is married to the goofiest, most glorious man on the planet who we are never letting out of our sight. Family relationships can be tough, but with a little bit of effort and a TON of patience, it can be done. There is a quote that I really loved from this book that I wanted to share. It said, "All along we had been looking for the wrong thing. We thought we were supposed to unearth some big secret between the sisters, but it had never been about the secrets they had kept from each other, but they kept for each other." A bond between sisters is fierce and this book made me even more grateful for the two goofy sisters and one amazing sister-in-law that I've been blessed with in my life.
I hope that these itty bitty blurbs give you some inspiration for your next read. If you didn't catch my last post, it is a review about another beachy read called "The Atlas of Love." You can read that by going HERE.
The moral of the story: Sometimes the tallest, sweetest glass of lemonade in the lemony suck of life is a beachy read to let your brain wander and relax from the hellish reality of adulting. Here's to froo froo lady voices in our head and lots of school girl giggles in our beds WELL past our bedtime.
In life it is either feast or famine for me. I'm a hopeless cause for balance some days and sometimes I just throw all care and worry to the wind and tell myself "it could be worse, I could be a dangerous addict of some kind." Might sound a bit harsh, but I find it rather amusing (most days). In the last year I have read more books than I have in the last 5 years. College fried my brain and my love for reading and it has taken me this long (10+years) to recover and find my reading bug again. While I was exiting my last career, the stress was SO HIGH. I would come home at night and want to crawl in a ball and cry, but knew that wasn't always the answer. I started to see some great book recommendations on Instagram and Facebook and started to read again on my iPad. I'm a big dork about reading and if it makes my eyes hurt or I can't see the words, I won't do it. **old lady status** The beauty of my iPad is a bright, back light that means I can read in my bed, in the dark. Perfection. The last two books I read have been actual hard-copy books, but only because of a random chain of events, including a new light bulb in my lamp.....don't ask..... The first book I am going to save for a 2nd edition of Beachy Reads & Sunshine Dreams, but the second gets its own post. Read on, my lovelies!
Do you ever walk into the dollar store and stroll past the books and wonder if it's all crap or if there might be something worth reading hiding in the pile that will only cost you a buck? On occasion I do, and the last time this happened was when in Idaho visiting my Jo bestie. She was picking up a few items at the dollar store and the books were in the front of the store...bonus! I started to dig through them and this book popped out at me. As you know from my post about Sarah Boucher's book, "Becoming Beauty", I am a sucker for a pretty cover. I shout praises to authors who have publishers with art departments that know what their doing with cover art. I mean, I'm only one person, but I take the cover in to serious consideration when deciding whether or not to read a book.
The front of the book says the following, "This story of women's friendships and redefining 'family' flows with lovely writing." I could end my review right now because the person who said it was spot on. But, I'm not!
There were five themes in this book that I want to briefly address. They are: friendship, faith, fear, family and love.
Friendship:The Atlas of Love is centered around the friendship of 3 graduate students in Seattle. Talk about three different personalities and family structures too. The reader quickly realizes that opposites do attract and these three girls are miraculously besties because they are SO different. The biggest irony of this book is that one of the main characters is Mormon and she's kind of a weirdo. I can say that because I was raised Mormon and I could tell that the author was very well-versed in her quirky Mormon. Still so funny, but probably more so because I could relate to it better and have known LOTS of women over the years very similar to this character....let's just leave it there. The entire premise of this book is friendship through thick, thin, sad, happy, angry and repeat over and over.
Faith: As I said earlier, there is a blatant reference to faith because of the Mormon main character, but she does not dominate the faith discussion. Throughout the book, there is much deliberation about faith in life, faith in God, faith in humanity and faith in what is meant to happen. Who can relate to that more often than you care to admit? **pick me, pick me**
Fear: This book involves a baby. It involves a baby that is a BIG surprise and thus enters a boat load of fear from numerous characters. How do you process when life throws you a curve ball that you didn't see coming? How do you process when life throws you a curve ball that you DID see coming? That's the toughie for me personally. Knowing that the end is inevitable because the writing is on the wall so you brace yourself for the impact. Fear of the future presents itself in numerous forms throughout the book as they deal with an unexpected pregnancy, some broken loves, balancing life and the mourning and coping that goes along with it.
Family: As I quoted above, the book talks about redefining family. Without giving too much away (ok, I'll give away as much is on the back cover), these three girls take on the raising of the baby boy who is named Atlas. They affectionately call it tri-parenting and it sort of works. They are all insanely busy graduate students so they make the decision that the only way this little boy can have a relatively normal life, given the circumstances, is for them to commit to be mothers together. It really is a heartwarming and delightful concept in theory, but they soon find that the mamma bear a.k.a. she who cooked and birthed said child is still the final say in all decisions made about Atlas. One of the things that really touched my heart was the passion that came from the two friends who weren't the biological mothers, but dedicated their lives as if they were his mother. In addition to their commitment to this little boy, their families also committed to being adoptive grandparents and everything that accompanied these roles. I related well because I am the proud adoptive aunt of lots of little people who I fiercely love as much as my biological nephews and niece. Motherhood hasn't been my adventure yet and I am so grateful for the little humans who call me Auntie Ray who aren't biological, but who I love like they were from day one.
Love: The backbone of any great story is love and this is no exception. Love is kind, love is selfless, love is patient and love is tough. And when I say tough, I mean both kinds--the enduring and the challenging. I know from personal experience that the more deeply we love the more deeply we hurt. It seriously sucks when it doesn't go in our favor, but it is also the most rewarding and beautiful gift to have in life. My heart runneth over when I see the beautiful, giggly faces of my nephews and niece via FaceTime and even more so when I get barrel-hugged (a real word) when I see them in person. The human heart and soul has infinite capacity to love if we will let it. I will be the first to admit that I am one who can easily put my heart in the deep freeze and let it sit on ice for an indefinite time, but I don't like how it makes me feel. I want to love and be loved, thus I take risks and embrace my ability to feel the way I feel and live life as it comes.
The quote above is near the end of the book and it really inspired me. Not too long ago I referenced "The End" really meaning "The Beginning" and I think this quote attests to that as well. When we have loved then we can come to the close of a moment and begin the next set of amazing moments. Love is our focus. Love can and will continue to reclaim us if we will let it. And just as this quote says there will be anger AND love, with hefty helpings of both, but love will always win. I will say it again....love will win if we LET it. Anger is hella toxic and it can eat you alive and burn your insides if you let it. Take the time to let friendship, faith, family and love heal your heart because when love is in the air, the next chapter is about to begin.
The moral of the story: All you need is love. The Fab Four knew what they were talking about. Trust it and let it reclaim you.
Memorial Day has come and gone here in the 'hood which means one thing: SUMMER! OK, maybe three things....summer, sunshine and my BIRTHDAY! I am such a summer baby at heart because I love anything that is related to the summer months and I especially enjoy the beach. You're probably asking yourself, "then why the frack do you live in Ogden, Utah?" To which I would answer, "uh....have you been to the Great Salt Lake? We got beach." Bazinga! I dream of the beach almost daily and I especially dream of a vacation that includes the beach and a solid reading list and no cell service. Just typing it makes my heart sing.
Recently, I read a blog that I found on Twitter that addressed the topic "if I was stranded on a beach this is what I would read" or something like that....I'm not much of a reader, but when I am, I like the kinds of books that would be PERFECTO for a lazy day on the beach and the kind that I can escape in the plot and dream away. Here is my current list for you to enjoy & maybe, just maybe, you will find one that can help you escape to beachy, sunshine dream land. Cue twinkle music....or the sexy cabana boy with an umbrella'd drink....depending on the day.....and the dream.....
The Girls' Guide To Hunting & Fishing by Melissa Bank: This is at the top of the list for a reason. It is my all-time favorite modern book and it is the plot that I instantly escape in to as soon as the heroine starts talking smack about her brother's snobby girl friend and says, "don't mean to acid rain on your parade." I wrote a blog post all about the book and you can find it HERE.
Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell: This is a delightful YA read. My lovely friend on Instagram recommended this book so I thought, why not!? It is a sweet, but raw story of two teens who are the outcasts in their own crowd, but the perfect match for each other. It also doesn't hurt that Eleanor is a feisty redhead. If you have issues with the F-bomb, you may want to shy away from this one, but I'm telling you, you'll miss out on a super sweet story that is a thinker and heart warmer.
Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert: This non-fiction book was made famous by the movie starring Julia Roberts. I am a weirdo and don't usually read the book before the movie like most normal people. This was the case with Eat Pray Love and the reason I decided to read the book was purely because of the India scenes in the movie. They were powerful and my friend who took me to see the movie said the book was ten times better than the movie so I was in. She wasn't kidding either. The book is enlightening and such a refreshing read. I will also let you in on a little secret....the audio book is just as fab because Elizabeth is the person who reads it. Talk about rejuvenating. So if you were underwhelmed by the movie (most of us) and didn't give the book a shot, change your ways! You'll be glad you did.
The Impossible Lives of Greta Wells by Andrew Sean Greer: This is the most recent addition to my list of beachy reads and I wrote about it briefly in last week's blog post HERE. This book was a lucky find on the Under $10 iBooks list and I was hooked from the first page to the very very end. It is a time travel novel with a twist of dealing with death and the pain that comes when untimely death occurs. However, it also has a historical/period fiction flair and the time travel that occurs because of electric shock therapy in an effort to work through depression. Intriguing and gripping. The reviews were divided on Amazon and Good Reads, but I loved it.
Jane Austen Ruined My Life by Beth Patillo: This is a HILARIOUS book. My sister-in-law's mom had this book in her collection and the cover and the title caught my eye. She ended up giving me her copy and I was glad she did because I've shared it with a number of friends. The main character is a professor and after a messy divorce and some career disappointments, she decides to head to England for some R & R. What actually happens is she realizes that Jane Austen's depiction of relationships and love was all a load of bull and it turns her to have some internal rediscovery.
The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs: This is a feel-good chick book about true friendship and girlfriends who stick together. The main character is a single mom who owns a knitting store. She and her daughter have had a roller coaster of struggles throughout their life, but they find comfort in knitting. They have a knitting club that joins them after hours to talk about their lives and give each other encouragement.
and last but definitely NOT least......
Love, Lucy by Lucille Ball: Who doesn't love a good biography and this lady loves Lucy. I really enjoyed this book which is the only book Lucille Ball ever wrote. Lucille Ball was ahead of her time as a woman professional, especially in Hollywood and she was very successful her entire adult life. She was also a devoted mother and wife. I've learned lots about her over the years as I've watched her many syndicated TV shows and the biggest fact is that she and Desi Arnaz created "I Love Lucy" because they wanted to divert the attention on their terribly strained marriage by having a comedy about a crazy redhead and her Cuban musician husband. Luci and Desi loved each other deeply, but ultimately they were better business partners than lovers. I wrote a blog surrounded around her famous quote, "once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead." You can read that post HERE.
Well, there you have it. I continue to enjoy good reads and even better dreams of the beach whilst enjoying summer in the 'hood. I would love to hear your favorites so feel free to comment below and share! I am grateful for books that can take me away on adventures of silliness, friendship and love. Who can resist a small dose of Mr. Darcy mockery or an older man crush of great proportions? I know I can't!
The moral of the story: Life can be a little beachy on its own so why not escape in a good read and dream of days gone by or fictional hotties who sweep their lady loves off their feet.
So, here we are at stop number who-knows-what on Sarah Boucher's Blog Tour for her debut novel "Becoming Beauty." In previous posts on my blog I have talked about how grateful I am to have a friend like Sarah. She has been so so patient and selfless and I can't even begin to express how blessed I've been to have a friend like her who is literally walking distance from my front door. I've never had that in my adult life and I couldn't have asked for it at a more critical and insanely stressful time of life. This has been quite the year for both of us in our respective day jobs and obviously, preparing to have a book published on top of teaching the little people has taken its toll on this Ethel-next-door-neighbor friend of mine. I've decided to share a few tidbits from the perspective of this equally crazy "Lucy" as she has watched her friend bring this book to the shelves. Then we will talk themes and my favorites. Ready, set, go!
It is a lot of work to publish a book. Once it was under contract with Cedar Fort I lost count of how many times Sarah had to re-edit and re-write parts of the book to make it just perfect. And some days 'just perfect' meant making the editor happy so they passed her off to the next step.
The book cover is by far one of the most beautiful elements of this whole process and when it landed in her email inbox she was SOOOOOOO excited. The cover was spot on exactly how Sarah envisioned it on the first draft. So it stuck. I loved reading the review copy and having visions of characters in my head that were created because of this stunning cover.
There is something truly awesome and equally hilarious about reading a book your friend has written. For those of you who will never meet her in human form, you will not understand this, but there are SO many elements of this book that are ALL SARAH. I call them Sarahisms. I will get into this a little bit more as we dig into the content and themes.
Sarah has done an incredible job at self-promoting this book during the last year through Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and her blog. The entire year she would write posts and participate in Monday Blogs on Twitter with the blind hope that it would pay off when the release date happened. It has been the coolest phenomanon to witness the response she has received because of her hard work promoting herself through social media. There is not a single element of this process that Sarah has not lost sleep over. She went about planning every step so that it was perfect and after her first book launch party, I am happy to say that it worked. We (I was her self-appointed non-profit publicist) kicked ass and impressed the peeps at Barnes & Noble.
This is not your run-of-the-mill fairy tale regurgitation. Sarah dug deep for each of these characters and exposed their vulnerability and portrayed them in a way that was exactly what we needed to know and forced us to question who really was the beastly being driving the plot.
And with that, I present, my official review.
The main character of this book is named Bella, NOT Belle. And if you even attempt to associate her with another fictional Bella that we are all aware of you should poke your own eyes out. Our Bella barrels her way into the spotlight the second she enters the room. When I started reading the book I was hooked by page 5 when Bella says the following about her sister Cassie, "What if I launched a beaded slipper at her head? It wouldn't cause any lasting damage, I reasoned. The crowd of men would be gathered about her, eager to catch her every word, and then WHAT? Looks of stunned outrage would paint their faces as she fell in a graceless heap at their feet." Ha! Damn frickin funny and such a SARAHISM. A behind-the-scenes tidbit about this particular passage....it was not originally written like this. Not at all. There was an intention of death (gasp) for the sister and somehow they didn't think that was ok?!? But, alas, the edit was still so funny and I loved it!!
We quickly realize that Bella has some attitude issues. I would submit that a bit of karma came her way as her selfish wishes landed her a one way ticket to the point of no return and the home of the beast. I appreciated the raw dialogue that occurs between Bella and the beast because, quite frankly, she deserved everything that he dished her way. There was a debt to be paid and she was fulfilling it. The next quote that I really liked was also the first quote that I shared on my social media because it was some serious food for thought.
Assuming that we can charm our way to the top while others slave? Not a big fan! Are you?? This theme was one that made its way to the very last chapter and it made me smile. There is so much to be said for those who work hard for what they have and also for those who are happy with what they have, even if it means they aren't the wealthiest of the wealthy.
Next was the discussion of imperfection and attaining beauty at our own speed and in our own manner. As we read further and further we find that Bella is in a constant battle with her subconscious self and there are a number of dream sequences. Well that sounds familiar. How many of us have gone to bed and spent a night in dreamland that really was a battle of sorting out our reality and woke up more exhausted than before we closed our eyes? I did whilst I was reading the book and it sucked. It also reminded me that I am still not perfect (news flash) and that my heart aches and stresses just as much as the next human.
Not a single one of us are perfect, my lovelies. And our beauty is revealed petal by petal. And there are going to be days that we are wilty and prickly, but we are ALL ROSES!!!! Gorgeous, full of love, brimming with compassion and even more imperfection. Embrace it and let yourself bloom in the timing that is meant to be.
Bella experiences a transformation of heart due to a number of events that are so delightful. And some of it might involve the interaction with a beardy grump face. Aw, beardy grumpy men. Oh, how I love them.
The third and final quote that I will share was towards the end of the book.
Courage is a powerful word. Bella definitely had courage to stay in a situation that wasn't her definition of ideal, but in the end, the outcome and reward for her courage was the "meant to be" answer. As I was reading the final two chapters I was a swoony, sloppy girl on my living room couch (it's fire engine red, by the way -- random side note). It is so sweet and equally funny with a slice of liberating.
I am so proud of my friend for pushing through the stress and drudgery of being published for the sweet reward of sharing her talent with the world. I encourage you to find the time to read "Becoming Beauty." It is a perfect holiday gift for the reading girls in your life and I can't wait to share it with my friends and family. For those of you who enjoy the electronic reading route (ME!) it is also available on Kindle. You can find that information here.
The moral of the story: When you wish upon a star and write a story, don't be afraid to share it with the world. It just may end up on the shelf of your local bookstore.
Until next time, my lovelies!
-R
And don't forget to click below and enter the giveaway for a chance to win a $25 Amazon Gift Card!
