Geekery is BeYOUtiful: "Geek Girl" by Cindy C. Bennett

A wise friend once told me, "we're all a little weird, Raylynn, and it's ok."  He was totally right and I find myself saying that out loud a lot.  My most recent read was a delightful and adorably geeky book called "Geek Girl" by Utah author Cindy C. Bennett.  My discovery of this completely adorable geeky book (did I say that already?) was in the mecca of all geekdom, Salt Lake Comic Con 2015.  Cindy is one of Sarah Boucher's fellow author comrades and she had told me about this book briefly so I had to check it out.  I could not put it down.  It was well-written, hilarious, raw and just plain sweet.

The main character of the book is a girl named Jen.  She has been bounced through the foster care system and as a result has become jaded.  She is angry at her reality and hides behind goth clothing, dark make-up and hangs out with the school's finest hooligans.  One day she meets a cute geeky boy named Trevor and has a brilliant idea that she is going to lure him to the "dark side" and rough him up a bit and win a bet with her catty goth gal pals.  It's not too long after spending time with Trevor that she falls under his spell of geekdom which is also known as being genuine, kind and passionately interested in Sci-Fi films.  The story that unfolds is so beautiful because Jen realizes that in spite of his geeky ways, Trevor is a good soul and she falls in love with his genuine heart.  As a result of spending countless hours trying to "change him" she soon notices that her own heart softens and she becomes braver and unravels some emotional messes of her own and begins a long overdue healing process.

This story line is not uncommon in real life with Ray.  I have a number of women in my close circle of friends who are geeks to the core.  I mean the whole enchilada geek 101.  I also have some friends who are married to geeks to the core.  Men who make Luke Skywalker look like a pansy.  I adore all of them and their goof ball husbands so I wanted to showcase some of their delightfully beautiful ways so that we can celebrate the ridiculous awesomeness that is geekery.  I think that you will find that geeks really do have more fun.

Before we can dive deep in to the land of my friends, I have to embarrass my sisters first.  It goes without being said that the three of us (and our ruffian brother) were raised in a thoroughly geeky home.  We HEART Star Wars and Star Trek and Super Man (Reeve and Cain) and have WAY too many Rocky movies in our stewardship.  Thus, I blow their cover first.  I won't reveal which sister it is, but if you know us, you'll probably figure it out.

Sister #2 is married and when I asked her to share some of her quirky geekdoms, she sent me a scripted story that she and her husband had drafted.  I laughed and laughed.  I will share a small excerpt for your reading pleasure.  They crack me up.  A LOT.  She is also a geek about drinks that are blue, Rocky movies and talking in dog voice (like if her dog could talk, what would he say).  Anyway.....

MOVIE DATE NIGHT AT HOME

Husband: What kind of movie are you in the mood for?
Sister: I don't know, either a comedy or action film.
[Husband flips through Netflix, makes about 30 suggestions...]
Sister: Let's watch a documentary.

We watch a documentary.
Every. Single. Time.

Sister #3 is a beautiful Whovian.  She puts us all to SHAME with her knowledge of Doctor Who.  In spite of raising her children with Star Trek and Star Wars, our mother just can't quite grasp the doctor and daleks and flying police boxes.  Odd?  Probably?  Relevant?  Doubtful.  Sister #3 is also a fan of the hipster lifestyle and digs the dudes with beards.  She may have contracted that by osmosis from her older sister, but I'll never tell.....and neither will she.  And no we don't have a board on Pinterest dedicated to it.  No, we don't.....

In fairness to roasting my sisters, I will share my ultimate geeky move.  One of my absolute favorite movies is Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.  We watched it a LOT when I was growing up and it made me so happy that they saved the humpback whales named George and Gracie.  When I graduated from college I was dirt poor and needed a car.  My parents were kind enough to buy my first car and it was a 1990 gray Buick Century.  It was butt ugly and barely ran, but it was mine.  It was also rusted something fierce and from day one I thought it looked like a beached whale.  So......I named her Gracie.  After the whale.  In Star Trek IV.  Gracie didn't make the move with me to Utah and I made my parents promise that they would take good care of her until she died and would give her a proper send-off.  She was a car.  The whale named Gracie was fictional.  I am a geek.  Deal with it.

When I posed the question "what makes you feel beautiful and geeky all at the same time?" to my social media friends and fans, I received some awesome answers.  Check these out:

J: "Even though my eyes glaze over after 30 seconds of computer speak from my hubby....It's hot to hear a man talk about something more than football and hunting."

J: "Secretly wearing Wonder Woman socks on the day I have my department meeting at work (all men except me) and knowing I could totally take them in a fight"

K: "I read text books (science) when I have/had down time. I teach my girls science jokes and tell them science answers to little kid questions... I have to make my self not answer people when they are talking about why things work the way they do... I finally understand why people didn't like me when I was in hs I was such a know it all... I didn't mean it... I just didn't know how to not answer... yep I'm geek fits me."

A: "I've been known to have a very random memory which pops up with strange facts/tidbits that are completely off topic. Does that qualify as geeky?"

A: "The other day husband's old roommate came over and was taken back by how much I knew Star Wars. He was super freaked out that I got super excited too and husband just sat back smiled and said, "And yes, that's the woman I married. She's just that cool."

S: "Two words: Benedict Cumberbatch."

K: "Having my living room completely surrounded by comic books, posters and pop figures instead of grown up decor."

I received a lot more, but I had to cut them short in the interest of length of this post.  Thank you thank you to everyone who chimed in.  You are all delightfully weird and I LOVE YOU!

A couple of final points to share from the book before I wrap up.  One of the things that I found to be so incredible was the amount of love and support Trevor's friends had for each other and how they instantly LOVED Jen because Trevor loved her.  They didn't care that she looked scary on the outside because they saw her worth from the inside.  It shocked her that they would love her in spite of her scary exterior and it shocked them that she would love them even though they were the school geeks.  That's how life is, my lovelies.  If we will love people for what's on the INSIDE, we will quickly find that their outsides do NOT matter.  I read an article just this evening about a local trans-gender woman who took her own life because she felt no value in her own skin due to bullying and public shaming for her choice in sexual preference.  That is absolutely tragic.  We ALL have worth no matter our circumstances and preferences, whatever they may be.  We are all a little weird and we all struggle, but God intended it to be that way.  That makes life interesting.  I hope that you will take time to appreciate people for their quirks, imperfections and geekery because that's where the beauty lies because that's what makes us different.

The moral of the story:  Flying your geek flag will never go out of style so wave it with pride.

Until next time, my lovelies!
-R

::GUEST BLOGGER:: Triumph Over Definition.

Note from Raylynn: I am very pleased to turn the blog over to my quirky and delightful sister, Lena, for a guest post of great proportions.  This isn't her first time on the blog and I highly recommend you check out her other post too by going HERE.  Lena is a soon-to-be senior in college in Montana and is our family's resident writer, artist, Doctor Who fan and fan girl extraordinaire.  I hope you enjoy her post as much as I do!  Be sure to check out our GIVEAWAY at the end of her blog post.  

Hello again, R’s lovelies! After making my debut on “Let it Be & Celebrate” I just couldn’t pass up a chance to make an encore appearance. It’s absolutely fantastic to be here with you all once again. Alright. now that we’ve gotten the sentimentalities out of the way, I’m just gonna go for it.

A couple years ago, I was exposed, for the first time, to a delightful young British singer named Ronan Parke. He competed on “Britain’s Got Talent” and has been developing a name for himself ever since. The centerpiece of my musings today is his song, “Defined” (I won’t feel bad if you decide to take a quick break to look it up. In fact, I hope you WILL HERE. The music video will provide an excellent visual backdrop for my thoughts). It speaks out against being labeled/stereotyped by others and feeling inferior because of it. In other words, bullying. Yep. I said it—the big, bad, B-word.

I’ve always been a passionate advocate for anti-bullying. I’ve had my fair share of it. Fortunately, it didn’t get the better of me and I continue to live my life trying to pretend it never happened. But it did. I don’t remember everything that was said/done to me, but my subconscious still does. It’s not something that can be turned off like a light switch; there’s more to it than that.

The mind of the bullied is in a near constant state of paranoia regarding their self-esteem, self-worth, and overall social acceptance. Symptoms include social awkwardness, low self-esteem, and having the need for strong, meaningful relationships. Below you will find not a textbook explanation of these symptoms, but explanations from the point of view of a survivor—from my point of view. I hope you find yourselves better educated on this life-changing epidemic infecting our society.

Symptom #1: social awkwardness. A survivor will oftentimes be afraid of social settings. They have trouble leading out in friendships and general conversations with others due to fear of saying the “wrong thing” and being rejected. Going to social events alone can be paralyzing for this very reason. Keeping to themselves is typical. However, when they find themselves in comfortable social situations, they are capable of being the life of the party.

Symptom #2: low self-esteem. A survivor is constantly questioning themselves. If they were bullied because of their physical appearance, on what part of themselves will they be particular harsh about? Anyone? Anyone? Yes, you in the back row? Very good—you are correct: their physical appearance (not exactly rocket science, is it?). Finding themselves attractive can be difficult because they were forced to believe that they are not. When such a concept is so heavily emphasized, the mind perceives it as a fact, not an opinion. Thanks to having this mindset, survivors tend to appreciate compliments even more so than what can be considered “normal.” Being assured of their beauty and worth (physically and mentally) is vital to their self-esteem. On the other side of the scale, having low self-esteem leads to the development of shoddy sarcasm filters. They may occasionally have trouble discerning the difference between sarcasm and sincerity. That being said, sarcastic remarks aimed directly at a survivor can be hurtful because they cannot tell if the one producing the remark is being serious or is “just kidding.”

Survivors find it difficult to take constructive criticism. They know that it is necessary for personal growth and know how to respond to it. However, they have to carefully monitor themselves to ensure that they don’t take it too personally, otherwise they may go into an emotional tailspin.

Symptom #3: the need for strong, meaningful relationships. More than anything, a survivor needs good relationships. They don’t need very many, but the ones they do have mean more to them than the other party/parties may ever understand. When they form strong relationships, they are willing to do anything in their power to maintain them and have no shame in being doting and affectionate. They have a constant hunger to feel wanted. Personalized attention is also extremely important. They hate being a numbered face in the crowd. They need to feel cared about.

***

As you can see, bullying has a lifelong effect. It triggers the same area of the brain that retains subconscious memories of a traumatic experience. Bullying IS a traumatic experience—an ongoing one. Why does it happen?? So many people (of all ages) struggle with being a victim of this heartless act of cruelty. I think a main reason this occurs can be attributed to a fear of the different. If it’s not “normal,” it’s not “acceptable.” Victims are therefore categorized and stereotyped. Bullies themselves may also have their own issues to work through, which can cause aggressive behavior. Cause-wise, the road runs both ways. It’s tragic.

So what can you do (hypothetically)? Tread softly and be kind to everyone. Be mindful. Be considerate. Have compassion. I can’t and won’t be defined. I live my own life. I’m free to be nothing but me. Yeah, I’m free to be ME.

***

The moral of the story: BE NICE to people.  Our differences make us unique and oh so fabulous.  Just. Be. YOU.  

Please take the time to enter our giveaway from the lovely Suzi, owner and creator of Just Be Purses in Hyrum, Utah.  An awesome, unique, one-of-a-kind clutch, with a secret surprise gift card inside, is up for grabs this week. Be sure to check out the Just Be Purses Facebook page HERE and go see them in person at Logan's SummerFest on June 18-20.  It is their only show this summer so be sure to visit!  Thank you for your continued support of our cause; I love your work & message.  

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R (and L, too)

Follow me on Facebook HERE, Instagram and Twitter (@beyoudesignut).