My O-town.

Necklace - Ume Boutique, red dress - Deseret Industries, skirt - Chic Style Box

Chez Ray has been a teeny bit chaotic since last we chatted. The time has come, after much prayer and tears and more prayer and immense peace, to bid farewell to my O-town.  I didn't think I would ever say it, but the chain of events that have led up to it are nothing short of obvious that it's time.  The show must go on and I'm stoked for new adventures and new friends.  A lady can never have too many friends, now can she?

As I reflected back on my time in Ogden I was reminded of the immense blessing it was to be sent here.  I still remember the utter shock that people voiced when I told them I was moving to the 'hood. From the minute I parked my car in front of my new home, I knew it was home and for that I was grateful.  Kelsey and I set out to find urban art in Ogden for our last photo shoot.  The charm that Ogden has because of the incredible urban art is never-ending.  There is some serious talent in this awesome town.  My favorite is a mural that is located on the wall of a local eatery called The Pizza Runner.  It is a joint collaboration of two artists: Chris Kiernan and Rich Ramos. Chris' work can be seen in the Ogden location of Lucky Slice Pizza and I LOVE his style.  I swoon over his fonts.  Like for reaslies.  I mean check this out:

I asked Chris to share some of the backstory on his portion of the mural and this is what he said, "I was asked by my friend Rich Ramos to paint part of the Pizza Runner wall, he had painted the previous mural and this time he wanted to share the space. The beautiful female face on the wall at this time is his work. Dayton is the skater featured on my portion of the wall, he has grown up skateboarding in front of my camera so I decided to base part of my mural on a photo of him doing a crooked grind in downtown Ogden as a thanks for all the good times out skating. The previous mural also featured some Otown lettering and Rich always got good feedback on it so he wanted the new mural to carry on that theme. The lettering is my classic style that goes back more than 20 years, simple enough for everyone to read but still graffiti."

This location was insanely fun to shoot with as a backdrop.  LOTS of color and contrast, but also a bit of random matchy matchy.  Who hearts my nails and jewelry?  ALL handmade by amazing artisans.  As we shot this outfit, I had a chance to look at the lovely lady up close.  She is GORGEOUS.  Red lips and a look of peace on her face.  My kinda chick.  I may have said to her, "it's you and me against the world, lady!"

I found many treasures while I lived in the 'hood.  But, most of all I found me. I found the Ray that is supposed to be where she is meant to be.  I found a woman who loves deeply with all her heart, wants the small business owner to succeed even in the crappy times, wants the at-risk kids to be safe and wants every single female on the planet (and the men in their life) to know that they are of great worth and value no matter their size, financial status, skin color, mental health state, religion and sexual orientation.  "Let It Be and Celebrate" became my life.  Celebrate on the shitty days.  Celebrate when you really just want to cry yourself to sleep or punch the stupid boy in the face or simply give up.  Keep. Going.  Keep. Loving. Let. It. Be.  

Top & skirt - Macy*s, shoes - Endless Indulgence Retro Wear, location - Ogden Union Station

In Ogden I learned how to face my own shadow and look forward with faith.  I learned that some of the greatest adventures come to us in the midst of what we think is our greatest storm.  I lost TWO jobs in 2015 and not because of anything I did. Taking chances failed TWICE for me in a year. That meant I had to look at myself in the mirror every day for more than half of the year and say, "you did what you could and God will bless you during all of this."  That is NOT easy, my lovelies. Just ask my empty savings account. My shadow was my constant companion and I had to set the guilt aside and trust in God's timing and BREATHE. 

 This quirky railroad town stole my heart because it was FULL of history that included my family.  Ogden was home sweet home for many of my ancestors and I got to learn about them first hand and see their homes and visit their graves and gain courage from their struggles while living here.  I also learned that in the early days of Ogden you had to come here before you could go anywhere on the train.  I feel like that.  I know that I had to come here before I left Utah so that I could learn to love again and bust out of my shell for real.  I had to live post-therapy like a boss and learn some critical life lessons while I was at it.

One of the number one lessons I learned from Ogden is that good people who believe in a community can change the world.  This town is renowned for it's view and it's snow, but did you know that it is also known for the non-profit work that goes on?  We have one of the BEST homeless shelters in the country and my view of emergency housing drastically changed when I got to know the director.  We have NO idea the struggles that people face and why they are homeless. I learned to have compassion and look out for others who have it way worse than I do. 

 Ogden taught me that it's not always black and white. Sometimes we have to go against the grain because it is the right thing to do.  A seemingly wrong choice still has a lesson, thereby it is still a good choice because it has taught us that valuable lesson.  I learned to give people a chance, but to stand my ground when I had reached my limit.  

O-town was a good town for this lady and I will forever be grateful for the stones that were turned over because I took a chance on moving to the 'hood of Utah. Everything happens for a reason and I know that this next chapter will be just as amazing.  In the meantime, pray I don't go batty while packing up my house or send it all to Goodwill because I've had it with packing boxes. Pray that Mother Nature plays nice while I'm trying to drive a moving van with my life in it in the dead of winter. The struggle is real, believe me. Which reminds me, I should be sleeping...it's only 1 am.  Sigh.....

So now as I start my last week in Ogden and wait for the next chapter to begin, I thank my lucky stars that I have found my flair, my sass and affinity for red lipstick (and shoes) in this hippie, snowy, GORGEOUS, sometimes dog-food-smelly, quirky railroad town.  I'm a changed woman because I took a chance and followed my heart.  2016 is going to be amazing.  I know it.  How could it not be after this wackadoodle year???

The moral of the story: faith changes everything and in 2015 it did just that for me.  

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

This Thing Called Adulting.

Blank blog posts are always a little intimidating for me because I never quite know what I'm going to say and type for all of you.  Writer's block is lame and it's even more ridiculous when you know damn good and well that you could spew sadness and bitterness, but opt for sunshine and rainbows and let's all find the silver lining together. And so.......here I go.......

Oh!  Before I get deep, let's all sigh at this glorious photo from my last photo shoot with Kel-Z Photography.  We found this great backdrop on Washington in Ogden, Utah and she caught me in the "Ray being silly (aka normal)" moment perfectly.  This is basically my life.  Crazy and really winging it at adulting.  You'd think I would have it figured out by now.  Nope.  But, I digress.  And so.....here I go.....

Life is crazy.  Life is beautiful. Life appears to be unpredictable in our eyes, but in the eyes of God, it is planned just as it is meant to be.  This is a challenging concept for me to swallow tonight.  In case 2015 wasn't without enough adventure, I was thrown a pretty swift curve ball to the gut this week.  I won't get in to details because it's done and I am moving forward, but I will share some musings with you that I've had in the last 48 hours.

Last week I shared some thoughts about the seasons of life and the seasons of mental health.  I also shed light on how challenging it can be for me to deal with the sudden changes and bumps in my ride of life aka adulting.  What does it all mean?  Why does shit happen?  Why do we cry like a sniveling baby with seemingly no control?  I have people tell me, "you're amazing, you're strong, you'll be OK."  I've also thought, "OK, this is super rad blog content, but I'm kind of over it so can we JUST have unicorns and rainbows and cease with the shit storms?"  But, the reality of it is my life is beautiful chaos and a long list of imperfection, but it is MY life.  I've been brewing up some new projects for 2016 and as I thought about how this little bloggy blog and my Instagram started I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the ride.  This has been a healer and a helper for me in so many ways.  But, it isn't just about me!  It's about all of you and your stories and your struggles!  We do this together and I am so grateful.

Our blessings FAR outweigh our burdens and I can feel it.  I came home tonight after going to dinner with my friend and in spite of us saying fewer words that we usually do because we were exhausted after a LONG week of adulting, we both felt better and more at peace with our realities.  I feel MUCH gratitude for the people in my life who get my dry, often dirty humor and jaded Ray outlook on life, but also see the deeply spiritual, authentic thinker and fierce lover that I am.  I could totally be a bitter bitch and hate God and never get out of the trenches of self-shaming, but I'm not doing that.  I am doing all that I can to let my brain process and cope and laugh when I feel like laughing and cry when I need to cry. My dear friend wrote an incredible blog after her son passed away and she often talked about the sunshine promises.  The fact that there is always sunshine after the storm.  That is so so so true.  However, when we are in the dark of the storm, it's sometimes hard to remember, "oh ya!  Rainbows come AFTER the rain and flowers grow better with rain and then sunshine."

When it is all said and done, we will look back on our toughest days and think, "holy crap, I was a master of self control and patience for not killing kittens and puppies while I was going through that mess."  I also know that we will look back and LAUGH when we still have the most important people in our lives because they strolled in at just the right time and didn't leave.  I have a good amount of sadness in my heart right now, but I also have an even greater amount of love and pure gratitude for my tribe of humans who, once again, are carrying me.  We CAN do hard things.  Absolutely we can.  And in the meantime, I'm going to take a nap (or in this case, go to bed before the clock strikes 2 a.m.)

The moral of the story:  Blessings are greater than burdens.  Write it down.  Embrace it.  Believe it. And I'll do the same.

Until next time, my lovelies!
-R

Seasons of Life.

Hey hey, my lovelies!  It’s November!  How did THAT happen?  Wasn’t I soaking up sun in the pool like yesterday?  Sigh.  Winter is creeping its way in to the day-to-day of the ‘hood and it gives me much to be reminded about my love/hate relationship with the next three months at Chez Ray.

I’ve talked about my lifelong quest against that bitch named depression, but I wanted to focus on the seasons of our life in this post.  I’m also very pleased to reveal the fourth and final hair photo of this year’s series with Kel-Z Photography!  Behold straight and crazy hair, polka dots and lying on cobblestone at the Union Station in Ogden, Utah.  Cobblestone, you say?  Yep.  And the answer is no, it is not comfortable, but it looks cool so who cares??

I often forget that there are seasons in my life, both literally and figuratively, that I struggle with more than others.  Transition and change is hard for me. I was raised in a home with parents who valued roots and consistency.  We were all about traditions in our family, meaning we did the same things over and over every year for the holidays.  That proved to be really challenging for me as a young adult because I found myself being depressed because I was forced to spend Christmas Eve alone or not be able to travel home to visit my family.  At some point I finally came to terms with this fact: sometimes we have to do it alone and it’s OK.  Christmas Eve alone didn’t last very long once my family found out and I’ve since spent the holidays with my aunt and uncle and cousins and am never wanting for company during Christmas. 

Figuratively, seasons of emotional health come and go as well.  When I was in organized therapy, there was always this goal to complete the task.  Be done with weekly, bi-weekly then monthly visits.  I felt like I could check off the box and be done.  Therapy – check, double check, here’s my token t-shirt for the road.  However, I was taken aback when my therapist looked at me and said, “it’s ok for you to come back if you need to.  We call them booster visits in this office.”  I laughed it off because I thought I was better than that.  I had put in my time and I was bustin out of this joint.  Wrong.  Within a year, I was back on the sofa with my shoes off and my journal open sharing some of my struggles and getting my booster dose.  I was and still am eternally grateful for my Jennifer and her scrupulous note taking about my jacked up life and even better emotional roller coaster at that time.  I still really hated my reality even though I had just paid hundreds of dollars to get over the other set of crappy realities in my life.  Once I moved to Ogden, I breathed a sigh of relief because I FINALLY felt happy, I loved my neighborhood and I fit in.  I could rest easier beause my life was going to be EASY now compared to what it was in Salt Lake.

My days of unicorns, rainbows and clicking of red shoes in the ‘hood was numbered and I soon had some struggles set in with work.  Wait, what?  This isn’t supposed to be happening.  I just worked in hell at the last place, that can’t happen again.  But, it sorta did.  Ugh.  I pressed on and I took it as an opportunity to create sunshine in a season that was turning out to be a really crappy situation. 

Now fast forward to the last year.  I talked about the journey it’s been in my last post, but I have really felt the seasons of life pass before me in ways that I loathe and love.  I’ve had some life goals in my heart forever that I’ve been able to accomplish in the last couple of months. Along with that I’ve cried some big tears over mistakes and stupidity that appears to be a common denominator with me.  It’s dumb.  I fell APART last week because my lady plumbing appointment, which was grossly overdue, did not go as I had hoped.  I mean, how glamorous can anything with a paper gown and stirrups be?  But, I’ve had super chill appointments in the past and this one threw me off guard.  I lost my marbles in the bathroom and my boss found me.  Oops.  New employee is a sniveling, imperfect mess.  We talked long enough for me to stop sobbing and I tried to recount what had happened.  What finally came out of my mouth was this, “let’s back up this train and remember that I have just been through one of THE most stressful years of my life and apparently I didn’t lose weight in stress this time around.”  Le.  Sigh.  My boss offered some really consoling words about my worth and my beauty and I stopped crying and went back to my desk.  Can we all say it together, “DAMN the seasons of life!”  I was really really upset for about 4 days because my waistline took the biggest hit (besides my pride and my finances) during my unemployment ride.  But, the best part of this is knowing that it is only for but a small moment and I will be OK.  I feel better this week, but holy hell, I was one emotional girl last weekend.  Lame.  I hate it when I’m the girl that drives me the most crazy. 

In conclusion I would like to share a really special video with all of you.  My co-worker’s wife recently embarked on a project that will bring you to tears.  It’s entitled, “1000 words: A Silent Interview on Self Worth” and it takes the viewer on a journey of facial expressions and body language as a group of women and girls are asked questions about their life and the seasons that come and go.  I could hardly believe the power and hurt and emotion that came across as these women displayed their vulnerability.  I have included the video below and I hope you will take the time to watch it with all the women in your life, whether young or old.  The questions that are asked are critical and they remind me that we do NOT give ourselves enough credit, nor do we give others the benefit of the doubt that they might be in a really shitty season of life. 

The moral of the story:  Just like the leaves change and the snow falls from the sky, our lives bring seasons of change that last for a small moment, but still bring beauty and magic to our lives. 

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

The Road Less Traveled.

In the poem “The Road Not Taken” Robert Frost penned the following, “two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both and be one traveler, long I stood and looked down one as far as I could to where it bent in the undergrowth; then took the other, as just as fair, and having the better claim because it was grassy and wanted wear; though as for that the passing there had worn them really about the same.”

This poem has always spoke to me and this year I have felt some aftermath of taking the road that seemed fairer because the grass was greener and appeared to have less wear.  This year has been intense and emotional behind the scenes. Don’t get me wrong; I have been immensely blessed, but the challenges have kept their front row seats for a good chunk of this year.

Two months after my granddad passed away, I was thrown in to the darkness of unemployment and it was a really sad and challenging reality to face.  I loved my job and my boss was one of my best ever, but the timing was off for a number of reasons and it was decided that I needed to embark on a new adventure.  Sword to my heart, but what do you do?  When I took this particular job, I left an 11 year career in an industry that nearly sucked the life and love out of me.  I thrived in it, made great money, had awesome contacts and friends, but the stress was so astronomical that I made the choice for my family of one to join an industry that was much more my forte and made me happy.  What transpired in my next job was a true experience of growth, acceptance that it was for a short time in my life path, but it also had a list of blessings that were added to my life. I was given a task that was challenging and tedious, but equally rewarding.  I felt like I was doing the right thing by taking this road. I took a risk in my career and chose the road less traveled after having been on the grassy, fair path. It was hard, but it was happy and successful as well. 

In the midst of all my adventures, I decided that when I finally came out of the forest of unemployment sadness and stress, I would reward myself with a grand costume adventure this Halloween.  In my last post I talked about geekery and its beauty and this is where mine comes in to play.  I LOVE HALLOWEEN. When I was a kid, my siblings and I looked forward to Halloween and always had fabulous costumes.  This has carried over in to my adult life and Utah is the mecca of Halloween celebration so this feeds my love.  Last year I purchased a pattern with the hopes of being Red Riding Hood.  Life happened and I ended up putting it on the back burner for 2015.  Then I lost my job, was poor indefinitely and didn’t know if I was going to work for someone who even celebrated the holiday.  Fast forward to September when I was presented with an offer with a company that not only celebrates Halloween, but STOPS all business to party for an entire day. I am in heaven.

I was lucky enough to have an awesome artistic posse this year to create my dream costume also known as #RayRidingHood2015.  My costume was custom designed (a joint collaboration) by me and Crystal from Anubis Creations in Salt Lake.  I did NOT want a cape.  I wanted it as a lace-up bodice and all one piece and the “Lord of The Rings” massive hood in red velveteen.  That is exactly what I got.

I also wanted to have a petticoat and was lucky enough to find a black number that is made in the USA from Endless Indulgence on Historical 25th Street in Ogden.  In case it wasn’t cool enough already, I decided that I needed bad ass red shoes and I picked those up at Endless Indulgence as well.

Last, but certainly not least, was the mask.  I STRESS about never having a male counterpart for Halloween.  It’s so insanely dumb, but it’s a total girl moment that I have almost every single damn year.  I briefly voiced this concern to my friend Amanda from Artisan Maskers and she said, “um I will make you a gorgeous, one-of-a-kind wolf mask and you will be both.”  Sold. Feminist independence for the win!  She is so talented and I am honored to wear such a beautiful piece of artwork on my face.

As Kelsey and I were shooting the photos at Union Station in Ogden I got very introspective and borderline emotional when we looked in to the sunset and dual train tracks and the choice of paths before us.  This has been my life this year!  It has been a constant battle of choices, mistakes and heartache, but then getting back on track and finding happiness and my zen again.

The last paragraph of Robert Frost’s poem is powerful and inspires me.  It says, “I shall be telling this with a sigh, somewhere ages and ages hence; two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference.” 

It truly made all the difference in my life to take the road less traveled last July when I made the choice to leave a toxic situation and move towards my ultimate happiness in a new career.  Even though there was still sadness and struggle, the end result is the RIGHT result for me and that is the difference that matters.  We can do hard things, my lovelies.  We can achieve goals and trudge through trial even when we think it is UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE.

The moral of the story:  Fear not to take the road less traveled.  It is the road that leads to personal growth and a whirlwind of adventure.

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

Create Your Own Sunshine.

Happy weekend, my lovelies! I can honestly say that this week has been the most mentally taxing in my career vacation adventure, yet so full of sunshine. I won't burden you with the seedy details, but I will share some things I have learned.  But, first....behold....the final photo and the spring version of my hair pictures with Kel-Z Photography.  Rose petals, pink, sunshine in Ogden, happy Ray.  I loved shooting this one because the sunshine was peaking through the trees and we had to get a little creative to make it just right and not too glary (totally a word) and squinty. 

Life tends to make us glary and squinty at times.  I try really hard not to play my redhead cranky bitch card ALL the time, but man, it's not easy when life is turned upside down and I just want to crawl in a hole and cry.  I've had a lot of people tell me that I've handled this latest adventure with grace and poise.  Oh, if only that were true.  I mean, my life seems pretty super awesome on social media because I get to sleep in and do whatever the hell I want; however, that is such a sliver of my life.  In reality, it has been a ginormous test of my coping skills that I learned in organized therapy as well as a religious fundamental test to the nth degree.

There is a hymn in the Mormon hymnbook that has the following line, "when sore trials come upon you, did you think to pray?"  Whenever I sing the song and come to that line I think about the long list of prayers that have been said by me and for me when I have had sore trials in my life.  I am always a little leary when people say "we're praying for you!" because I tend to question it with some, especially on social media, because it can come across trendy and fake.  But, when I see blessing after blessing falling out of the sky and the sunshine that lands in my lap, I have to eat my words and ask for forgiveness because then I know someone (probably everyone) is praying for me.

This week I learned a really great lesson about creating my own sunshine.  I am a creature of habit (thanks, Mom), but at some point the MUNDANE of habit gets to me and I take a polar opposite approach and go a tid bit batty.  I'm sure you can relate.  Be honest with yourself....we all have that in us about something.  Dishes?  Cleaning the guest bathroom?  Sorting socks?  Anyway, my biggest survival method during all of this adventure has been routine.  As much routine as I can have to stay on task, but this week all of my usual routine was so painful.  I picked up the phone to call my mom and this is what she said, "You need a change of scenery adventure. Your usual routine is making you crazy (ier) so figure out a way to change it up so that you don't go nuts this week.  As soon as she said that I started thinking about coping mechanisms that I haven't used a lot during this adventure, but have worked in the past.  At the top of this list is coloring.  I am talking about straight up kiddie coloring in a princess coloring book with fresh new Crayola crayons.  Let me show you....

The change of scenery adventure that day turned in to a grand scavenger hunt of super secret locations that I knew nothing about before that day.  I was incredibly grateful for my tour guide that sent me to some of the most beautiful places in our area. I was also grateful for a new Disney Princess coloring book and a peaceful spot to color away my troubles.  Who says Cinderella, Snow White and Sebastian the Crab don't cure the crazies?  Like I said before, if there was ever any doubt that prayers weren't being said and answered on my behalf, times like this proved me wrong.  Oh. So. Wrong.  

The second coping mechanism that I haven't taken a lot of advantage of during this adventure is being around kiddos.  I've seen my auntie loves a few times in the last five months, but not a ton and I was starving for the simplicity and hilariousness of kid world.  Lucky for me, I happen to know a super cool kindergarten teacher with the BEST group of 5 year-olds and she has been quick and grateful to have me in her classroom to volunteer and participate.  This week I spent 3 days in kindergarten.  To most that sounds insanely exhausting (IT IS), but for me it was so much sunshine.  There is absolutely no time to be worried about the future when you have cute faces telling you how pretty you look (apparently they DO notice when I put on my eyebrows and mascara), hugging you at random and letting you test them on ABC's, numbers and sight words as well as lead a construction paper craft with googly eyes (eek!).  And let's be honest, there is a lesson to be learned when you have a little person who has a meltdown over glue stick and you think, "Honey, you're 5.  Your life is glorious and gives no reason for tears over glue.  Let's stop crying and continue on with the craft."  

When I knew that this moment of sunshine was a true gift from God was on Thursday when a student presented me with a thank you note and treat from his mom that thanked "Miss B's fantastic friend" for being in the classroom in her absence.  As I stood there and read it I had to hold back the tears (there's no crying in kindergarten) and it made my whole week.  So much sunshine right here, my lovelies.  So very much.  

The cure to my inner uneasiness this week really was crayons, super secret change of scenery adventures, mamma thank yous, cute kiddos of the 5 year-old kind and SO MANY construction paper Pete the Cats with googly eyes (someday I will write a whole post about the joy I find in googly eyes).  

The future is bright and my emotional bucket is filled because I took some sound mamma advice to heart.  Shhhh....don't tell her I admitted she was right on social media.  

The moral of the story:  Sunshine doesn't just come from the sky.  It comes from all around us and can turn an upside down week right side up in NO time.  

Until next time, my lovelies.  

-R

Friends ARE the Spoon Full of Sugar.

Guess what, my lovelies!?  It's time for the next round of fabulous photo shoot features and blog posts with Kel-Z Photography.  I am beyond pleased with the results from this shoot and I can't wait to share my thoughts with you as well as her incredible art.

It's always a huge delimmma as to which outfit I will feature first because I love them all.  Generally, it comes down to the theme that I am going to talk about that makes the decision easy.  Such is this case this week.  First of all, can we all just stop and sigh in unison over the door in the photo above?  I have noticed that there are some pretty rad doors on the buildings in Ogden so I wanted to center some of my photos around those.  Random?  Yep!  Surprised?  You shouldn't be.  This group of photos were shot in front of the USDA Building on the corner of Adams Avenue and 25th Street here in Ogden.  Really cool building.  I was so giddy when I discovered it and that door.  Aw, the door.  The top I am wearing is from Chic Style Utah in South Ogden, UT.  It's a longtime favorite because of its simplicity and elegance.  Be sure to check them out by going HERE!

For the majority of my professional life in the service industry, I've played the game of association to remember people, places, things, events, lots of things.  I especially do this with clothes.  I remember people by the outfit and/or shoes they were wearing when I first met them or first saw them (that secret crush....aw yes.....that day....he looked so handsomer).  But, on the same hand, I also remember things with the clothing I have.  My entire closet is full of memories (LOTS of them...let's not get into that subject)  This outfit is substantially significant because it represents two of my dearest, longest friends who have done SO much for me in such small and simple ways.  And so I submit, in true Mary Poppins form, friends ARE the spoon full of sugar that makes the bitter medicine of life go down.

A couple of years ago I served on a committee for a Great Gatsby-themed charity gala in Utah County.  It was one of the greatest experiences of my life for a long list of reasons.  In the midst of all the planning for my part with the decorations, I was desperately trying to find the PERFECT outfit.  I went back and forth on the outfit options and what style I wanted.  I had told my friend Colleen that I was stressing over the outfit (normal in Ray Land) and one day I get a text from her that says "what size shoes do you wear?"  I told her and she replied, "I just found the most perfect Gatsby shoes and I am buying them and sending them in the mail tomorrow....be on the look-out.  You have to have them."  At this point, I hadn't decided which route I was going to take with the outfit, but was SO touched that she was on the look-out for the perfect shoes in Montana.  I had no idea what they looked like, but I trusted her judgement and when the box landed on my doorstep and I opened it,  I cried.  Basically, the perfect shoes, perfect fit and totally my style for everyday wear, not just for the event.  It may sound silly, but I treasure these shoes because of the thoughtfulness and genuine care of my friend that they represent.  I can absolutely attest to how hectic my friend's life is running a business, managing a household of hooligan boys and a diva dog, but she STILL makes time for her friends and these shoes are my constant proof.  How often do we take time to think outside of the box and do something for our friends that they would never ever do for themselves OR have the means to do?  

And then there was the skirt.  If you've been a die-hard fan of the blog, you may recognize it from a very early fashion feature that talked about my love for thrifting for things that I can transform from ugly to masterpiece.  When I wear this skirt I think of my Jo.  This skirt was the result of an SOS trip to Idaho to meet each other in the middle for comfort food, girl talk and thrifting....let me elaborate.  Jo and I have been BEST friends for 12 years.  We have gone to hell and back with each other.  We talk almost daily and are sisters from other misters.  Her family is my family.  We became friends while I lived in Montana and one of the other quirks I have is my passionate (ok maybe a little too dramatic...maybe not) love affair with Taco Johns.  It's cheap tex-mex and I HEART it.  They don't have these restaurants in Utah and it is my comfort food.  So silly, but the absolute truth and presents a problem when I am having a BAD day and just want to feel some normalcy again.  There is a Taco Johns in Pocatello, Idaho which is bascially half way for Jo and I so one Saturday I sent her the SOS text and said, "do you have plans today, I am getting in my car and driving to Taco Johns in Pokey, can you meet me?"  At this point in my life, that was a very out-of-character move and she dropped everything and got in her car and came to my rescue.  Do you have those friends that the minute you see them and hug them that you feel like you're not going to implode and can continue to conquer the world?  Jo is on that list.  She's simply amazing.  That day included a lot of shared feelings from both of us over potato oles and Diet Dew and then we found the local thrift store and laughed and laughed over how horribly ugly this dress was and how I would make it pretty and convert it to a skirt.  You don't believe me?  Look at the original blog post HERE.  It was crazy ugly and I wasn't wearing a lick of makeup when we did the duck face photo in the store.  We've since made one other SOS trip to Pocatello and it was full of laughing, eating and thrifting....our favorite.  I thank God daily for the blessing of this bestie of mine.  She does so many small, simple acts of kindness for everyone around her, including me.  But, I have to say that I adore the fact that she is my voice of reason and consistency that keeps me moving forward in the thick of the storm.

This wouldn't be a true post about simple acts of kindness without giving accolades to Suzy from Just Be Purses.  She has a really great Utah-based business called Just Be Purses.  I love her ability to make seemingly "weird fabric" into GORGEOUS one-of-a-kind masterpieces.  I featured her bags in my winter photo shoot and this time around I wanted to feature her clutch.  Isn't it gorgeous????!!  I was glad I found this one and even more grateful for her generosity in donating it for the photo shoot as well as a clutch that we are giving away (as shown below).  Genuinely kind people make life bearable.  Please show her some love by checking out her Facebook page HERE and go visit her booth at Logan's Summerfest next weekend!!  

The moral of the story: thank GOODNESS for friends who are the spoon full of sugar as we swallow the bitter medicine that is life at times.  They bring us sunshine, potato oles, and the perfect shoes...among a long long list of other things.  Thank yours today.  Do it.  NOW.  

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

  

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Once In His Life.

Lucille Ball has been quoted as saying, "once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead."  In the wake of that one holiday this week, I decided to debut the winter hair pictures from my photo shoot with Kel-Z Photography and talk about the reality of loving a redhead.

Before I wax eloquent I have to fill you in on the hilarity that goes on to make these pictures just right.  If you recall from my fall shoot, the hair picture was our VERY last photo and just kind of happened and was perfect.  I decided that I wanted the winter version to be a stark contrast piece because we would be in snow.  I found the scarf at Sears on a killer sale during the holidays and it was perfect because it had some pattern and sheen, but wasn't old lady or crazy (because that matters).  The other element I wanted was red lips.  It's only been in the last two years that I've been brave enough to sport red lipstick in public and rock it like a boss.  I credit it to a certain man who shall remain nameless.  This photo was the very last shot again because it included laying in snow and freezing for a good cause.  We laughed and laughed when we got up from taking the photo and my head print was in the snow as well as bum....so we took a photo.  You can really only see my head  print so we put in a little prop to show what you were looking at.

Ok, let's get down to falling in love with a redhead....this one in particular.....

A few years ago my family engaged in a Top Ten quirks email that was so dang funny.  To this day I wish I would have saved it because it was really obvious that my siblings found spouses that were very well suited for them.  It's been interesting to get to know my brother-in-law and see the reasons why he is SO GOOD for my sister.  His sense of humor and go-with-the-flow attitude are at the top of the list of things that we love so much about him and are common denominators that are very good for the women in our family.  We are a bunch of strong-willed hotheads at times and having a man by our side who is chill and funny is critical.

So what does this Lucy need in her Ricky?  Read on, my lovelies.....I'm spewing my weaknesses...or my endearing qualities...however you look at it. 

• I am fiercely passionate about causes, especially those that involve children.  I am a true oldest child and I take charge and get shit done, especially when it involves kids who can't help themselves. 
• For all my OCD tendencies in the workplace, I am that much blah at home.  That means...when I was a teller my money had to all face the same direction (still does if someone gives me cash), but if the laundry doesn't get folded for WEEKS I am not stressed about it. 
• I am a hippie at heart and want everyone to get along, but you cross me and you best put on your big boy britches and run for the hills.  I have a good solid bitch card and I know when to use it. 
• I cry every single stinking time I watch the movie Rudy.  My heart still jumps at the anticipation that he might not get to play in the last game of his senior year at Notre Dame and I melt when the team gives up their jerseys so he has a chance to play. 
• A sub-point to this story---I love the movie and story so much that when I was a kid it was my dream to attend Notre Dame.  My mother wasn't too keen on that because Mormon kids don't go to Notre Dame.  To which I said, then why do Catholic kids go to BYU?  I attended neither school and I still cry when they sing the fight song. 
• I am probably more of a feminist that I like to admit, but probably not.  It drives me CrAzY when people treat me like a stupid girl or expect me to not know something because I have a uterus buried in there somewhere.  However, I MELT and LOVE it when a man waits for me and holds the door open for me.  Mutual respect is the name of the game so I will treat you like a normal human being and you do the same.  xoxo
• I come from a geeky musical redneck patriotic mouthy (ok maybe just my sister and I fit this description) Mormon family.  If that bothers you then keep on looking for Barbie with a testimony because this girl ain't none of that.  I am who I am and I rather enjoy a lad who brings some depth to our family mix.  A lot actually. 
• Talk smack about my siblings or my nephews and I will unleash.  Period.  We are awesome people. 
• My relationship with God is one that has evolved into a deeply personal and very real deal.  I have experienced some tragic and trying times in my life and I know that the way I am living my life is how I need to be living it.  I know that for some there are some boxes on their list that I'm not checking, but I can honestly get on my knees at night and still commune with God and know that He is listening and that He cares.  Those conversations can get a little pointed and full of frustration, but I know He knows the inner depths of my heart and what I REALLY want in life. 
• I regularly lose sleep over how I will make ends meet and because of that I will NOT be a non-working housewife.  I just won't.  I can't do that to a man because I know firsthand the stress that it entails and if it means that I work 2 nights at the mall or have an at-home business, then I will do it.  I absolutely will NEVER be a financial burden.  That's just not how I roll. 

I could probably go on and on with the list, but I'll end.  Why play all my cards on my blog?  The point of all of this is, my hair doesn't define me, but it definitely plays a big part in who I am.  They've done lots of studies on the genetics of redheads and it's proven that we have a higher tolerance to pain (holding off on child birth to prove that) and loose ligaments (just ask my chiropractor) and I don't know a redhead who isn't feisty as hell at times.  BUT!  We are human just like the rest of ya and to that lucky man who will eventually win my heart and convince me to share a life with him I say, "you get one chance to fall madly in love with a redhead....make it count."  

The moral of the story:  redheads are human.  (Gasp)

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

Be The Change.

February is here!  Is it just me or did January FLY by?  I have been anxiously waiting to have the next set of fashion features that resulted from my 2nd photo shoot with Kel-Z Photography.  When Kelsey and I had our shoot in the fall we both agreed that we needed to do something in the winter that included getting creative with snow.  I hate winter due to really bad seasonal blues and I wanted something that was going to be FUN and focus on color!  Yes!  COLOR!  I am a lover of color in fashion and I wanted to share with you some of the methods to my madness.  So, here we go!  Enjoy and don't be afraid to try something new this week as you figure out what to wear.

There are a few things you should know about my style.  First, I don't stick to the norms and trends.  I choose articles of clothing that will stand the test of time and look awesome with lots of different things.  I have a standing rule that if I can't think of 5 outfits to make with an article while I'm looking at it in the store, I don't purchase it.  When I first met my darling friend, D'Arcy at Chic Style, I told her this rule and somehow .... maybe mysteriously.... maybe not, she always seems to have just the right things for me to try on.  The skirt in this photo is from her store and is a wonderful brand called T Party.  Oh, it is heavenly and comfortable.  This skirt jumped out at me because it was different and soft.  I'm also a big fan of mixed mediums; meaning different fabrics coupled together.  It didn't hurt that there were only two left in the store and they were both my size.  Again, somehow this manages to happen often which is why a good hearty chunk of my closet is from Chic. 

The next thing I want to talk about is sales rack shopping, specifically at Macy*s.  If you follow my Instagram feed you know that I LOVE Macy*s (even their bathroom)  and visit there from time-to-time just to peruse the sales racks.  

The sales racks at Macy*s are glorious.  They are organized by size and brand and sometimes even color.  I often have a Monica Gellar OCD geek moment because I can go right to where I need to go and find total awesomeness at a deep discount.  Here's my bit of wisdom for you: If I can buy it on sale at Macy*s for less than full price at Target, I will DO IT every damn time.  Why NOT????  I know I'm going to get a better fabric quality and just look better.  It's a win/win situation.  The mint top of this outfit was just such a scenario....I was iffy on the shape of the top, but it was like 10 bucks on sale this summer so I picked it up.  It is a favorite now and looked incredible with this skirt and jacket.

The jacket is from The Loft and is old, old and old.  But!  It's timeless so it doesn't matter what year I bought it because it still looks good.  The shoes are a delightful thrifting find from Deseret Industries a.k.a. the Goodwill of Utah.  I heart them very much and I sacrificed my toes to wear them and hike in them in the snow to capture just right shot with the winding road behind us.....I will refrain from breaking out in a Beatles tune right about now.

I will STILL refrain from breaking out in a Beatles tune right about now. . . You're welcome.....

I will STILL refrain from breaking out in a Beatles tune right about now. . . You're welcome.....

Last, but definitely not least, we need to talk about the jewelry....but mostly the bracelet.  This piece is handmade by my friend, Erin, at her store The Girl Ran Away With The Spoon which is located in my hometown, Miles City, Montana.  It's one of the very first pieces I purchased from her and I wear it ALL THE TIME.  I love jewelry with words.  My brain needs nearly constant reminders that I'm going to be ok and that life is going to be ok.  When I found this bracelet I bought it because this is one of my life mantras.  Be. The. Change.  Be the force for good in someones life and in turn change your own life.  I've deeply struggled with some heartache over the years and my healer has always been serving others.  I want to do good and be the sunshine for others and change their path.  That comes with some of its own side effects and quite often I forget to think of myself first and I don't tell people when I need to be cared for.  I'm feeling that a lot right now with some specific situations in my life, but I carry on being the change in other people's lives because I know it's crucial.  I had a big event this week and was elected to be the Vice-President of the Friends Board for the Weber-Morgan Children's Justice Center.  So excited and honored!  If you recall I am a total mamma bear and I have loved serving this organization thoroughly for a couple of years.  We are shifting the thinking and philosophies for making people aware of our cause and it's both fun and nerving at times, but we are the change and I LOVE it.

I know that it's really hard to embrace change and even more challenging to recognize aspects of our life that need to be changed and follow through with it.  I've had some moments in the last couple of weeks that I asked myself, "Why?"  "Why am I still living here, why am I holding out for this, this and this and why am I sad about it, but so happy about other things?"  I don't know the answers, but I do know that when I have on a cute outfit and the desire to be the change deep in my heart, I can accomplish anything.  I might skin my knees and shed a few tears, but I am stronger for it and am helping change the world, one thing at a time.

The moral of the story:  Sometimes the winding road has bumps and causes us to stumble, but with a cute outfit full of color and randomness and a desire to be the change we can accomplish anything.

Until next time, my lovelies!  Next week is pattern avec pattern!  Yippee!!!!

-R

P.S.-

If you're on Facebook, be sure to follow my page by clicking here.  Cheers!

VanLadyWhat?

Happy Thanksgiving, my lovelies!  I have exited the 'hood and am home for the holidays in Big Sky Country.  Thanksgiving has always been a chill day of eating, napping and movie watching at my family's house.  This is the primary reason why I always enjoy coming to Montana for this holiday vs. Christmas.  Well, that and Christmas was the BUSIEST time of year in banking and I've never been able to have the time off.  As you recall I purposely made November the month of fashion features (MY FAV!)  because I knew it would be c-razy busy and it was.  But, it was also filed with a few adventures.  One adventure in particular involved a local band called VanLadywhat?  Van. Lady. Love.  So, we're going to talk about it.  Oh and you know the reason why I sported a pretty kick ass tee to Thanksgiving dinner (see above).  

 

I haven't talked about this much, but I grew up in a very musical home.  I also grew up in a very compettive and semi-OCD, perfectionist-laden home, but we won't get into that dirty laundry.  The combination of those has produced humans who fiercely appreciate good music.  I grew up loving The Beatles as much as Puccini and Mario Lanza and I still do.  One of the MANY reasons I love living in Ogden is the amount of local musical talent that I've been exposed to through festivals and what not.  One of those festivals was the Harvest Moon Festival on Historical 25th Street.  It's the biggest event of the year, in terms of foot traffic, for 25th Street and I had heard all about it for months so my two friends and I went to see what the hoopty-doo was all about.  We were pleasantly surprised and had such a great time..as exhibited here....

These pictures were taken as we were sitting on the street listening to the bands.  **Disclaimer** In order for you to know why this is such a hilarious story I will sacrifice my anonymity and will give the entire story.  As we were sitting in our seats and my friend was sipping a cosmo (or two) and Sarah and I were taking duck face selfies, this random, bearded man wearing red chucks walked past us.  Now, you all know that I dig the beardy men as previously discussed in my book review for Becoming Beauty.  I'm also a total sucker for shoes.  And a total sucker for red shoes.  Good hell, this dude had our attention because of it all.  And it was so funny.  We quickly realized that said distraction was one of the members of the headlining band!  Gaaa!  We must stay because of his shoes!  I need to get a life.  The only problem was we had tickets to a play and it was in a playhouse on 25th Street.  I was looking forward to it so much, as were my friends, so we opted to go and we would catch the band in their 2nd set after the play concluded.  If you've ever tried to concentrate on anything after being delightfully distracted you know that it's basically impossible.  I loved the play, but I could hear this mystery band through the entire production and they kept playing GOOD SONGS!  Damn them!  As soon as the play was finished we tried to listen to a few songs from their 2nd set, but it was late and we had to get home....old lady syndrome + lots of drunken Ogdenites = over and out.  I had walked by one poster and saw that their band name was VanLadyLove.  A catchy little name for sure and it spurred my curiosity to look them up.  Social media is a beautiful thing and I found them on Facebook and Instagram.  And you bet I read their bios and figured out if that beardy, red-chucks-wearing distraction had a name.  He does, but you'll have to look him up and figure out what it is.  

 

One of the things I quickly realized about the guys of VLL is their sincere love for their fans.  And I'm not talking their management company loves them....no these guys LOVE their fans.  They are still accessible and relatively normal, unlike many of the other bands that have made a name for themselves after getting their gig started in a garage in the UT.  Not too long after they performed in Ogden they released a new CD called Love Matter.  

It is such a great, great, great album.  It's so wonderful that I wish it was longer!!!  At one point I had taken advantage of the free download that they had offered to promote the album, but my lack of technology skills meant that I didn't listen to it.  Lame sauce, I know, but the reality.  At the end of October I went to visit my friend in Idaho and I needed some new tunes for my trip home.  So, I downloaded as many of the albums that I could find on iTunes.  Um ya.  It was embarrassing how I reacted to the songs when I started playing them.  Those are the moments that I am mucho grateful for my fancy car with a less than desirable car payment and the fact that I was travelling solo......  I can have a concert whenever I want to and be a diva back-up singer.  And that I did.  A four hour drive was made so much more enjoyable with the tunage of VanLadyLove.  Because there is always an introspection piece to my blog posts, I want to share one of my favorite lines from their song, "Neverland."  

"You should take a chance with something greater, greater than you have ever known"

Some might say this is a no-brainer or a tiny bit cliché, but we all have that dream that we are holding back to try, but give it a chance!!!  I love the fairy tale theme of this song, even after having my view of Peter Pan slaughtered on ABC's tv series, "Once Upon a Time."  We all want to fly away to Neverland and stop time when life is perfect and beautiful.  The time when we our snuggling the ones we love, there is food in the fridge, money in the bank account and a full tank of gas in the vehicle.  If you would like to see a great music video for this song, check out this one from their YouTube channel  --HERE--  

So, what's the point of all of this?  What's the adventure I referenced?  VLL took a trip to NYC and upon their return they had a come back concert in Provo at the beginning of this month.  I was determined to go.  Ogden and Provo aren't next door to each other so it meant a bit of a sacrifice for me to get there.  I also wasn't going to go alone because I needed company to venture to Happy Valley.  And who do I call on when I need a crazy wing lady?  The one and only...Sarah.  And why the hell not?  We got each other into this silly fan girl mess so why not make it legit by being groupies???  I hoped to win tickets and when I didn't I was like, "meh, oh well, I guess it's not meant to be...."  Plus I was getting sick and I knew by the end of an insanely busy week I would be dead to the world and so would Sarah.  And then it happened.  Remember the personal interaction with fans because their semi-normal still?  Well, imagine my surprise when I received a message that said they were really sorry I didn't win the tickets and that I should still buy some and come to see them.  How freaking nice is that?  Oh, and they also sent a free audio download of this song.  Brownie points racking up left and right! So I bought the tickets.  And just as I suspected I was sick as hell by Friday and so was Sarah but we were committed to this concert and we were GOING!  Due to some work commitments I had that day, it took some pretty sweet logistics planning to get us down there, but they were the last band to perform so we arrived a little early to make sure we had time to park.  It was quite the experience.  When we walked in to The Velour, it was clearly evident that we were amongst the population of college kids from BYU.  Young, chipper and super sober and "high on life" kids.  Sarah and I quickly took up residence against the wall....prettiest wall flowers in the building...and observed these crazy kids who were much more entertaining than the band that was playing.  We definitely threw off the average-age demographic that night.

During all of this I was posting my sassy feedback on Instagram and the VLL boys were liking and replying and Sarah and I were laughing a lot.  Again, social media, you amuse me on so many levels.  It was finally their turn to take the stage and it was awesome.  Remember I was drowning and felt like shit, but this was one of the coolest shows I've seen.  My reasoning for telling you I have a borderline snobbish opinion of musicians is this....a true, talented musician is one that does NOT need a mixer or an editing wizard to make them sound good.  A true musician performs better in person and even better unplugged.  This is the case for VanLadyLove.  100%.  Their show at The Velour was absolutely unbelievable.  I stood there and couldn't even believe it.  I had been listening to their CD for a couple of weeks and trolling their social media enough to know that they were good, but it wasn't until I heard them live, in a small space with the coolest vibe that I became a true fan.  Even Sarah was mucho impressed with their vibe and talent.  She generally doesn't go to live local concerts because, in her words, 'they're too screamy.'  But, VLL is chill and not 'screamy' at all.  The concert was so much fun and we laughed and laughed, especially when beardy red-chucks boy (you thought I would reveal his name, didn't you?) decided that he was going to progressively lose pieces of clothing because it was so hot.  Here are some phone photos that I took from the concert. 

  The encore included a shirtless bass player!  Lucky us! .... ha ha ha!

After the concert ended they were available for fan photos outside the venue, but it was freezing, late and we were both expiring at a rapid rate and had a long drive home.  In the midst of all the chaos of waiting fans, I noticed that they had t-shirts, but I was too tired to buy one and the colors weren't my favorite (because that matters).  I tucked that away until I was rested and we drove home.  Later that weekend I jumped online and ordered a shirt.  It took a few days before I started to notice that I hadn't heard anything about shipping.  I sent an email to the band on Facebook to check-in and later that night here came an email from the lead singer.  The t-shirt colors had changed and he was just checking to see if I liked the other color.  Seriously?  How cool is that?  I actually liked it better and gave him the go-ahead to send it to me.  A few more days passed and I checked in to see when they were going to send it.  A hilarious banter conversation commenced about them being slow and me saying maybe that was because they were from Provo and dot dot dot..... 

Last week I came home to a package in the mail that I thought was going to be just a t-shirt, but what it turned out to be was a t-shirt, some red sunnies and a CD and they were all autographed.  EVEN the shirt.  I took to social media to thank these four for making a very shitty day turn sunny and snapped a ridiculous late night, cat lady crazy hair photo showing it off.  

I appreciated the extra touch so much.  I'm often the one behind the extra touch for others through #happymailfromthehood and some days I need it too!  There are a lot of other fabulous stories that go along with getting to know the guys of VanLadyLove, but I won't share them all because I've incriminated myself enough for one post.  And I might add that my favorite band member is not the same person as my sister and if I blew HER cover I would be dead meat.  But, I converted her pretty quick just by sending her to their website to listen to their music and watch the YouTube videos.  If there was any kind of grand scheming going on in my head it would include a comeback concert to Ogden in 2015 and a jam session to a re-mix of "Let It Be."  Yesterday my sister and I practiced my part in the parking lot of our favorite restaurant and I'd say I'm off to a good start with my practicing!

The moral of the story:  As with every good recipe, the extra ingredient is always LooooooooooooVE, and there is no exception with VanLadyLove.  Rock on, Provo boys.  Rock on.  

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R