#LightTheWorld Photo Challenge

For those who are looking for simple ways to share #LightTheWorld on social media, I've created a photo challenge based on the "In 25 Ways, Over 25 Days" calendar that was released on mormon.org LINK FOR CALENDAR PDF. Some of them are pretty specific to a charitable activity so I had to get a little creative for the prompt. There are also a few that are really personal like apologize to someone and forgive someone who has done you wrong. Obviously, you don't have to air that for the public, but if there is a symbolic photo that you can share that would be great! How little or how much you choose to share is up to you!

Feel free to share this on your social media platforms, invite your friends and be sure to add the hashtag #LightTheWorld on your posts.

Happy Christmas, Happy Serving! ❤️
Follow my "In 25 Ways, Over 25 Days" on Instagram @beYOUdesignsMT 

The Roots of Our Soul.

Over the years, I've often thought back on some of the poorest choices I made in my life and how they came about and why I thought it was acceptable to do it.  One particular instance haunts me because I know that it was a choice made while I was in pain and without deeply planted roots of self confidence and love for myself.  I've forgiven myself, but I will always live with a reminder in my brain of the how and why and that I am forever grateful I was brave enough to face my fear and be a better person in spite of myself.

I think many of us make choices in our lives because our roots are weak and we think that our worth is far less than it actually is so why would it matter if we do what we do? It breaks my heart when I have people tell me, "I hate myself so much that I can't accept that someone might love me."  What brings a person to this point?  The breakdown of trust, communication and a spiritual root system that keeps them intact.  I've been there. It's a dark, cold, lonely place. But, the good news is, it doesn't last forever.  And thank goodness.

I reference my time in organized therapy on a regular basis because I am not ashamed that I sought help to cope. I also want others to feel safe in talking with me about their struggles and their experiences with therapy. Therapy doesn't cure you. Not even CLOSE, but the greatest gift you can walk away with is the ability to grow your roots back and build a foundation again. It took about 6 weeks before I felt the breakdown of my weak root system. What commenced was a catastrophic meltdown and physical pain because of emotional issues. There is absolutely no way we can start over until we hit rock bottom. It's the moments of having absolutely nothing except for us and God that we figure out a way to conquer our fear to take root in new ways.

One of my all-time favorite Disney/Pixar movies is "A Bug's Life." For whatever reason it has always been a movie that I can pop in to calm my nerves and laugh. The dialogue and one-liners are some of Disney's finest. One scene in particular involves Flick attempting to give an analogy of the giant tree growing from a seed and the seed is actually a rock.  Dot says to him, "this rock is going to become a tree?" and Flick freaks out and has to reexplain his point and that it takes time to grow and become strong like the tree. I always laugh because Dot says to him, "you're weird." Oh how I can relate to being weird for being a woman who relates so well to analogies by a talking ant.

Another priceless gift that I gained from therapy was the ability to say to myself, "how can I apply this event, trial, whatever, to other aspects of my life?"  Along with that I also learned the valuable mental tool, "what have I learned from this mistake and how will I live my life differently because of it?" Both of those statements take an incredible amount of "reality check" and brutal honesty with ourselves because the answer may not be what we want to hear. To that I say with all the love in my heart, tough shit. Face reality, strip your pride and be brave and full of faith to face your weaknesses.

In nature, the strongest trees can withstand the elements of weather, wind and aging with a deeply bedded root system. The same goes for us.  I love the quote above about laughing at storms.  I don't know about you, but the last thing I'm doing in the middle of a storm, figuratively or literally, is laughing.  Usually I'm crying and hiding under my blankets in my bed.  The point of this quote is that we CAN face storms with a smile on our face if we have a root system that is strong and deep.  Without a solid root system, we can't discern what is right and what is wrong and where the boundaries lie as we fight the good fight and find ourselves again.

Many of you who read this blog know me personally and know the inner and external battles I've fought.  Some of you know more than others, but I want you ALL to know this, my roots of regrowth after I went to see my Jen is what changed EVERYTHING. (her website) I know this because I have never experienced anything like my 2015 and I am here to tell you that I didn't drown because I had roots of faith and strength to hold on to with all my might. I had love in my heart for myself and others around me and I kept myself grounded by serving and allowing others to serve me.

The moral of the story: Even when the roots are cut, they can still grow back and be better than ever.

Until next time, my lovelies!
-R

Don't mess with the mamma bear.

A number of years ago I was asked the following question in a job interview, "if you could be any animal what would it be and why?" Without much hesitation I answered mamma bear. And my reasoning was I'm fearcely protective of the people I love, whether they are family members, friends or people on my team at work.  Don't mess with my Cubs, unless you want a good solid ass whooping. Like seriously. Don't.

Earlier this week I was having a conversation with someone and it came up that I wasn't a mother yet. I always hate these conversations because it seems to be a token of definition here in Utah whether or not a female has pushed a watermelon out of a garden hose.This conversation happened to be with someone who is a therapist for teenage girls and it spurred my need to elaborate more than normal. 

I told him that after I turned 30 I decided that I wasn't going to let the cultural labels of childless vs. mother define me and that I would channel my deep desire to be a mom through other venues. When I moved to Ogden I was strongly encouraged to get involved with non-profit organizations in the community. We were advised to be involved in something that we were passionate about so there would be motivation to continue. I knew I wanted to be involved with something that helped women and/or children.

I was introduced to the Weber-Morgan Children's Justice Center. My co-worker at the time  is the chairman of the board and I quickly learned that this organization was something special. I volunteered for their annual gala and then this year I helped as well. Since I have changed jobs I now have more free time and it is even more critical to be involved in the community. I'm thrilled to announce that I've been asked to be on the board and will be official this week! I'm so stinkin excited!! This organization is absolutely critical in the law enforcement world because it provides a safe place for kids to come and play and thereby talk with private investigators as they play together. On Saturday they had an event called the Ride for Justice. It was all sorts of biker going on and quite humbling. And you bet your buttons I had on my service Sanuks and a cute outfit!

The best part was the processional of bikes revved up and ready to leave. As I watched them leave I got choked up because I knew what was the common denominator in this ... People who all support a cause that helps the little people. And then my mamma bear kicked in and I had the overwhelming feeling of, "if anyone anyone anyone ever laid a finger on my little loves I would KILL them." And then I came full circle; in that my involvement with this organization is filling my mommy  void and I love it. And I may never see those victims face-to-face, but I've been where they have been and I can feel the connection. 

I feel so blessed to call this random 'hood my home sweet home. I ended the day on a balcony in downtown Ogden looking over the roof tops and basking in the beauty. I am lucky as ever to be here and involved in such wonderful organizations.

The moral of the story: my life may not be what some think it should be, based on whether or not I have offspring to brag about, but I sure as hell am a mamma bear at heart and will do whatever I can to defend and protect those littles. 

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

Put on Your Service Shoes & GO!!!

Fashion Feature - Sanuks

It’s been a mentally taxing week in my world which is why the blog has been a bit quiet.  If you read my previous post you know that I was out of town last weekend for a family event and I’m always a bit of a zombie when I get home from travelling.  Laundry-sort of done, sort of not folded, kitchen – sort of mopped, dishes sort of not loaded in the dishwasher, floors – sort of vacuumed, but sort of not.  You get the picture.  But, I’ve had more important things on my mind.  Service and the Friday fashion feature go hand-in-hand this week. 

Last week, my dear friend had the gut and heart wrenching reality of a child who attempted to end her own life.  This family has become some of my dearest friends since moving to the ‘hood and this particular child has been one whom I have loved from the beginning.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE all of them, but for some reason she is just fabulous.  But she definitely has her struggles.  It is so hard to witness because I do get it, from all sides, on a very small scale.  As I was driving out of the state last Friday, I received a message that the decision was made to admit her to an in-patient scenario due to the severity of the situation.  I have an extremely empathetic heart and I feel pain for other people regularly.  It can really get the best of me and I have to keep it in check, but it is how I’m programmed.  I thought about my friend’s family all weekend and prayed that all would be well when I returned to Utah.  When I rolled into town on Sunday evening, there weren’t a lot of answers and everything was VERY uneasy.  At minimum her stay would be 5 days which would put her coming home on Wednesday.  Monday afternoon I was sitting in my office trying to decide what to do next (mostly busy work) and I took a peek at my Facebook for a minute.  My friend had posted that she needed help with something she couldn’t do.  I sent her a message and this was her reply, “I need to clean her room so that it isn’t harmful in any way when she gets home and I just can’t bring myself to do it.”  Pit in my stomach.  BIG PIT.  Breathe in, breathe out.  I dropped what I was doing, left work early and sent a message that I was on my way with dinner for the other kidlets.  My friends are my family and this was absolutely necessary.  That night was one of the most humbling experiences I’ve had in a really long time.  It was one of those moments when you have to say a LOT of prayers just to get in the car.

So…. Here’s the FASHION part….I put on my big girl panties and my services shoes….my trusty Sanuks.

Last year I was introduced to Sanuks at the Ogden Marathon.  I purchased a pair of flip flops from a local vendor and I could not stop wearing them.  HELLO, comfortable.  When I pulled up their name on Amazon I soon found that they had all sorts of styles and I needed some more!!  I found a polka dotted pair (WINNING) that looked more like hippie, surfer shoes, but they were on sale so I couldn’t help it.  That’s my answer for a lot of things.  *DISCLAIMER -- bad idea* 

According to Sanuk’s website, “we strive to make products that are as much about fun and funk as they are about function. We've found that our feet are happiest when they tread the road less traveled- so we design our sandals accordingly! Because “Sanuk” is the Thai word for fun and happiness, our name is also our mantra.” (www.sanuk.com)

Well, there ya go!  Fun, funk and function.  Those are three things that are almost always and should be involved when service is on the agenda.  Volunteering our time is always a big sacrifice, but also donating our heart and energy to a cause that is probably less-fortunate that our own is taxing too.  But, we know that with a good pair of shoes we can accomplish ANYTHING!  In the last 2 months I’ve had the opportunity to wear my Sanuks for a number of different service events and it just makes me happy!  My tootsies are comfy so I can serve more.  Bonus!

I will add that as of blog composition (Thursday-ish), my friend’s daughter is still in the hospital and life is still very uneasy, but they are coping and conquering every day one-at-a-time.  Life is hard.  Life is a cluster of a few too many “what the hell" moments, but it is also FULL of sunshine and opportunities to serve others.

The moral of the story:  We can do ANYTHING, bring sunshine to others during our own storms and hippie surfer shoes, with a funny name, have superpowers at my house.

Until next time, my lovelies!
-R

The power of the hash tag

So here I am with a blog post.  I know.  Don’t faint.  I could provide a list of excuses, both valid and fictional, for not posting sooner, but I won’t air the laundry today.  I think my number one reason why I haven’t posted on the blog is because I’ve been waiting for that perfect topic to start it off with.  Well.  I have it and it’s time to talk about it.  

As many of you know I have a public Instagram that shares the same name as this blog: @beyoudesignsut.  In the beginning I started it as an experiment to lend some helpful tips to clients in my dayjob on maneuvering social media; especially the life in small squares.  I also needed a way to post my outfits here and there because people regularly ask me where I get my clothes.  And then there was this constant bombardment of hooker thin, photo-shopped women ALL OVER THE FREAKING INTERNET flaunting their plastic and fakeness and I just couldn’t take it anymore.  I am anything but plastic and I wanted other women, especially women in Utah, to have that outlet to share their look.  I have spent tons and tons of years thinking I’m not good enough because my shirt tag said XL instead of XS and my hips were curvy and my calves too wide.  Additionally, I’m a child of the 80’s and 90’s and it’s safe to say that I’m still a bit scarred from being that kid that wore clothes from second-hand stores when everyone else was sporting their name brands.  But, I digress.  I promised no dirty laundry airage.

Day by day this whole thing has flowered into a seriously amazing journey and connection to some of the most COURAGEOUS people I know.  Like for reals.  I could talk for days and days and days about my lovelies, but I am going to focus on one today because SHE has changed my perspective on life.  

Anneke.

I found Anneke through a common thread that was also one that brought me to create this Instagram.  Hiya Papaya Photo-a-day is a photo challenge that was started by my friend from college,Cristi.  Anneke had participated in her photo challenges and I started to figure out that this woman was one.incredible.human with a LOT of challenges, but a sunshine soul and attitude that could be bottled up and sold for top dollar.  As I started following her feed, I started to learn about her biggest hurdle in life and that is one of a recovering anorexic.  Oh boy…the taboo topic that we all whisper about when we see people we suspect might ‘have one’ but never really take the time to learn about.  It’s not just about the eating people.  It's just NOT.  It is so much more.  And I can say that because I have lived it on a very small scale.  You may not believe it if you see me now because I’m just a normal weight, not a super model skinny bean.  But, because of some emotional struggles of my own including a lifelong marriage to depression, food is the first to go for me when the road gets rough.  When I was in college I lost 50+pounds in 6 months because I quit eating because I couldn’t cope.  Yep.  It happened.  So, anyway.  I connected with Anneke the minute I started reading her heartfelt posts about putting on her sassy crown and facing her fears.  About 8 weeks ago she started to talk about the possibility of entering a treatment facility to address some other struggles that come with an eating disorder.  My heart hurt for her because it is so desperately hard to make decisions that revolve around you being in trouble and it means you’ll have to face it and talk to strangers about it.  Been there too.  Another story for another day.  

As the time drew near for her to enter the facility I could just feel my empathetic heart swell even more.  The good-byes to family, friends, and her cat named Couch along with the bags being packed and the tears and the reality.  So very hard to read about.  That was the week before Palm Sunday.  Now, one more thing I forgot to mention….Anneke lives in New Zealand.  I am in Utah.  Do the math.  I will do the math.  16 hours ahead.  She lives in the future.  The Saturday before Palm Sunday in the US, I was at my friend’s house and I had this thought, “we’ve got to do something for Anneke.  She needs this.  What could we do?”  Because we are on opposite corners of the globe I couldn’t just drop a care package in the mail or send a card that would arrive in two days.  I just couldn’t.  And it sucked.  Because that’s my nature.  As I wracked my brain to think of her common interests and something that was easy for anyone to share it dawned on me:  shoe selfies.  Some of my MOST favorite pictures that Anneke would post were shoe selfies as she would go on her adventures of photography.  And how do we start a revolution?  We make a hash tag.  So I started searching for that specific set of words that weren’t taken.  And then it came.  #shoeselfieforanneke.  Because I was a geek and had done the math I knew that if I posted my idea on Sunday morning and could get the Yankee ladies to do it that Anneke would wake up to HER Monday and would see these posts.  I didn’t expect mountains of response.  I shot for 10.  Because let’s be honest, even knowing that 3 people care about you can change the world.  Well….it was/has been/is more than 10 posts.  As of this morning we are at 227 posts.  I am floored.  I am humbled.  I cannot tell you how much stress and hurt has gone through that lovely woman’s heart because she has to be cooped up in a place that is full of people with issues far greater than her own.  It’s hard to heal when you’re amongst this type of thing.  Healing amid toxic is nearly impossible.  It just is.  But she is doing it.  And I am so proud of her.  

Because this is NOT ABOUT ME I will not go into the details of how this has blessed me, but it truly has on insane levels.  Service heals the heart and I thank God for the whispering in my heart to create this hash tag.  

The moral of the story: If you have a whispering to help someone, do it.  Even if it seems so simple and trivial.  It is not.  Nothing is a coincidence.  NOTHING.  

Until next time, my lovelies.  

And there will be a next time.  

I promise.  

-R