I am grateful to know myself well enough to understand that I SUCK at change and I SUCK at transition. Pretty early on in my hell-on-earth closing chapter of the last job I spent some bitterly angry and sad days. In the midst of this I had a text conversation with one of my amazing friends. He knows me well and he knows that I damn near kill over to do the right thing, but I was a MESS. I don't remember what preceded his comment, but I do remember the looming reality that I may have to leave Ogden which was killing my insides. And then he sent the message above. To say it was perfect timing is an understatement. It was life changing. It changed how I approached finding a new job and dealing with my job at the time. The other great side of this story was when I was able to dish some of his own medicine when he was having a particularly ick day with his job. So I will say this: Timing is everything. I know it is bitterly hard to trust in the timing but then things happen and you think, "holy moly, there it is. The moment I've been waiting for."
So what's my deal with transition? Ya... I go a little batty. I always have, always will. I remember when I moved to Ogden I had a conversation with my therapist prior to the move and she said to me, "you know you struggle with transition so just tell yourself you're giving yourself 6 months to adjust." This round of transition has been one of my odder experiences. I left an 11 year career, took a BIG step in the dark and it has not been easy. It hasn't been hell either, but I know myself and my limitations. Last week I posted this on my Instagram
If you've seen the film you know that Tom Hanks character, Jimmy, yells this at his team. It's one of those moments when I always do a reality check and laugh and think, "what a damn jerk!" And then I get all philosophical with myself. To me, "no crying in baseball" means toughing the crap days. And when there is transition in my world there are exponentially more crap days. But, I work through it and I slap a smile on my face and remember that I am a tough lady and I can do just about anything. . . Well almost everything.... I still can't ski. *random side note* But, I am finally to a point with this job that I am feeling my mojo return. And what happens when my mojo returns? I come back to earth. And coming back to earth also means I cook again! Ya! I'm a cook! And a damn good one! Oh and my oven still works! I got proof! Cheeeeeeeeck it out!
It's been a good week of home cooking and seeing the fruits of my hard work at the office paying off. And lunching with good friends, including the one who said the pivotal advice. Those who need to be in my life, for whatever reason, are still there and those who were holding me back are gone. And it is ok.
The moral of the story: transition is inevitable but not impossible to push through in order to come back to earth.
Until next time, my lovelies!