This Thing Called Adulting.

Blank blog posts are always a little intimidating for me because I never quite know what I'm going to say and type for all of you.  Writer's block is lame and it's even more ridiculous when you know damn good and well that you could spew sadness and bitterness, but opt for sunshine and rainbows and let's all find the silver lining together. And so.......here I go.......

Oh!  Before I get deep, let's all sigh at this glorious photo from my last photo shoot with Kel-Z Photography.  We found this great backdrop on Washington in Ogden, Utah and she caught me in the "Ray being silly (aka normal)" moment perfectly.  This is basically my life.  Crazy and really winging it at adulting.  You'd think I would have it figured out by now.  Nope.  But, I digress.  And so.....here I go.....

Life is crazy.  Life is beautiful. Life appears to be unpredictable in our eyes, but in the eyes of God, it is planned just as it is meant to be.  This is a challenging concept for me to swallow tonight.  In case 2015 wasn't without enough adventure, I was thrown a pretty swift curve ball to the gut this week.  I won't get in to details because it's done and I am moving forward, but I will share some musings with you that I've had in the last 48 hours.

Last week I shared some thoughts about the seasons of life and the seasons of mental health.  I also shed light on how challenging it can be for me to deal with the sudden changes and bumps in my ride of life aka adulting.  What does it all mean?  Why does shit happen?  Why do we cry like a sniveling baby with seemingly no control?  I have people tell me, "you're amazing, you're strong, you'll be OK."  I've also thought, "OK, this is super rad blog content, but I'm kind of over it so can we JUST have unicorns and rainbows and cease with the shit storms?"  But, the reality of it is my life is beautiful chaos and a long list of imperfection, but it is MY life.  I've been brewing up some new projects for 2016 and as I thought about how this little bloggy blog and my Instagram started I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the ride.  This has been a healer and a helper for me in so many ways.  But, it isn't just about me!  It's about all of you and your stories and your struggles!  We do this together and I am so grateful.

Our blessings FAR outweigh our burdens and I can feel it.  I came home tonight after going to dinner with my friend and in spite of us saying fewer words that we usually do because we were exhausted after a LONG week of adulting, we both felt better and more at peace with our realities.  I feel MUCH gratitude for the people in my life who get my dry, often dirty humor and jaded Ray outlook on life, but also see the deeply spiritual, authentic thinker and fierce lover that I am.  I could totally be a bitter bitch and hate God and never get out of the trenches of self-shaming, but I'm not doing that.  I am doing all that I can to let my brain process and cope and laugh when I feel like laughing and cry when I need to cry. My dear friend wrote an incredible blog after her son passed away and she often talked about the sunshine promises.  The fact that there is always sunshine after the storm.  That is so so so true.  However, when we are in the dark of the storm, it's sometimes hard to remember, "oh ya!  Rainbows come AFTER the rain and flowers grow better with rain and then sunshine."

When it is all said and done, we will look back on our toughest days and think, "holy crap, I was a master of self control and patience for not killing kittens and puppies while I was going through that mess."  I also know that we will look back and LAUGH when we still have the most important people in our lives because they strolled in at just the right time and didn't leave.  I have a good amount of sadness in my heart right now, but I also have an even greater amount of love and pure gratitude for my tribe of humans who, once again, are carrying me.  We CAN do hard things.  Absolutely we can.  And in the meantime, I'm going to take a nap (or in this case, go to bed before the clock strikes 2 a.m.)

The moral of the story:  Blessings are greater than burdens.  Write it down.  Embrace it.  Believe it. And I'll do the same.

Until next time, my lovelies!
-R

Geekery is BeYOUtiful: "Geek Girl" by Cindy C. Bennett

A wise friend once told me, "we're all a little weird, Raylynn, and it's ok."  He was totally right and I find myself saying that out loud a lot.  My most recent read was a delightful and adorably geeky book called "Geek Girl" by Utah author Cindy C. Bennett.  My discovery of this completely adorable geeky book (did I say that already?) was in the mecca of all geekdom, Salt Lake Comic Con 2015.  Cindy is one of Sarah Boucher's fellow author comrades and she had told me about this book briefly so I had to check it out.  I could not put it down.  It was well-written, hilarious, raw and just plain sweet.

The main character of the book is a girl named Jen.  She has been bounced through the foster care system and as a result has become jaded.  She is angry at her reality and hides behind goth clothing, dark make-up and hangs out with the school's finest hooligans.  One day she meets a cute geeky boy named Trevor and has a brilliant idea that she is going to lure him to the "dark side" and rough him up a bit and win a bet with her catty goth gal pals.  It's not too long after spending time with Trevor that she falls under his spell of geekdom which is also known as being genuine, kind and passionately interested in Sci-Fi films.  The story that unfolds is so beautiful because Jen realizes that in spite of his geeky ways, Trevor is a good soul and she falls in love with his genuine heart.  As a result of spending countless hours trying to "change him" she soon notices that her own heart softens and she becomes braver and unravels some emotional messes of her own and begins a long overdue healing process.

This story line is not uncommon in real life with Ray.  I have a number of women in my close circle of friends who are geeks to the core.  I mean the whole enchilada geek 101.  I also have some friends who are married to geeks to the core.  Men who make Luke Skywalker look like a pansy.  I adore all of them and their goof ball husbands so I wanted to showcase some of their delightfully beautiful ways so that we can celebrate the ridiculous awesomeness that is geekery.  I think that you will find that geeks really do have more fun.

Before we can dive deep in to the land of my friends, I have to embarrass my sisters first.  It goes without being said that the three of us (and our ruffian brother) were raised in a thoroughly geeky home.  We HEART Star Wars and Star Trek and Super Man (Reeve and Cain) and have WAY too many Rocky movies in our stewardship.  Thus, I blow their cover first.  I won't reveal which sister it is, but if you know us, you'll probably figure it out.

Sister #2 is married and when I asked her to share some of her quirky geekdoms, she sent me a scripted story that she and her husband had drafted.  I laughed and laughed.  I will share a small excerpt for your reading pleasure.  They crack me up.  A LOT.  She is also a geek about drinks that are blue, Rocky movies and talking in dog voice (like if her dog could talk, what would he say).  Anyway.....

MOVIE DATE NIGHT AT HOME

Husband: What kind of movie are you in the mood for?
Sister: I don't know, either a comedy or action film.
[Husband flips through Netflix, makes about 30 suggestions...]
Sister: Let's watch a documentary.

We watch a documentary.
Every. Single. Time.

Sister #3 is a beautiful Whovian.  She puts us all to SHAME with her knowledge of Doctor Who.  In spite of raising her children with Star Trek and Star Wars, our mother just can't quite grasp the doctor and daleks and flying police boxes.  Odd?  Probably?  Relevant?  Doubtful.  Sister #3 is also a fan of the hipster lifestyle and digs the dudes with beards.  She may have contracted that by osmosis from her older sister, but I'll never tell.....and neither will she.  And no we don't have a board on Pinterest dedicated to it.  No, we don't.....

In fairness to roasting my sisters, I will share my ultimate geeky move.  One of my absolute favorite movies is Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.  We watched it a LOT when I was growing up and it made me so happy that they saved the humpback whales named George and Gracie.  When I graduated from college I was dirt poor and needed a car.  My parents were kind enough to buy my first car and it was a 1990 gray Buick Century.  It was butt ugly and barely ran, but it was mine.  It was also rusted something fierce and from day one I thought it looked like a beached whale.  So......I named her Gracie.  After the whale.  In Star Trek IV.  Gracie didn't make the move with me to Utah and I made my parents promise that they would take good care of her until she died and would give her a proper send-off.  She was a car.  The whale named Gracie was fictional.  I am a geek.  Deal with it.

When I posed the question "what makes you feel beautiful and geeky all at the same time?" to my social media friends and fans, I received some awesome answers.  Check these out:

J: "Even though my eyes glaze over after 30 seconds of computer speak from my hubby....It's hot to hear a man talk about something more than football and hunting."

J: "Secretly wearing Wonder Woman socks on the day I have my department meeting at work (all men except me) and knowing I could totally take them in a fight"

K: "I read text books (science) when I have/had down time. I teach my girls science jokes and tell them science answers to little kid questions... I have to make my self not answer people when they are talking about why things work the way they do... I finally understand why people didn't like me when I was in hs I was such a know it all... I didn't mean it... I just didn't know how to not answer... yep I'm geek fits me."

A: "I've been known to have a very random memory which pops up with strange facts/tidbits that are completely off topic. Does that qualify as geeky?"

A: "The other day husband's old roommate came over and was taken back by how much I knew Star Wars. He was super freaked out that I got super excited too and husband just sat back smiled and said, "And yes, that's the woman I married. She's just that cool."

S: "Two words: Benedict Cumberbatch."

K: "Having my living room completely surrounded by comic books, posters and pop figures instead of grown up decor."

I received a lot more, but I had to cut them short in the interest of length of this post.  Thank you thank you to everyone who chimed in.  You are all delightfully weird and I LOVE YOU!

A couple of final points to share from the book before I wrap up.  One of the things that I found to be so incredible was the amount of love and support Trevor's friends had for each other and how they instantly LOVED Jen because Trevor loved her.  They didn't care that she looked scary on the outside because they saw her worth from the inside.  It shocked her that they would love her in spite of her scary exterior and it shocked them that she would love them even though they were the school geeks.  That's how life is, my lovelies.  If we will love people for what's on the INSIDE, we will quickly find that their outsides do NOT matter.  I read an article just this evening about a local trans-gender woman who took her own life because she felt no value in her own skin due to bullying and public shaming for her choice in sexual preference.  That is absolutely tragic.  We ALL have worth no matter our circumstances and preferences, whatever they may be.  We are all a little weird and we all struggle, but God intended it to be that way.  That makes life interesting.  I hope that you will take time to appreciate people for their quirks, imperfections and geekery because that's where the beauty lies because that's what makes us different.

The moral of the story:  Flying your geek flag will never go out of style so wave it with pride.

Until next time, my lovelies!
-R

Friends ARE the Spoon Full of Sugar.

Guess what, my lovelies!?  It's time for the next round of fabulous photo shoot features and blog posts with Kel-Z Photography.  I am beyond pleased with the results from this shoot and I can't wait to share my thoughts with you as well as her incredible art.

It's always a huge delimmma as to which outfit I will feature first because I love them all.  Generally, it comes down to the theme that I am going to talk about that makes the decision easy.  Such is this case this week.  First of all, can we all just stop and sigh in unison over the door in the photo above?  I have noticed that there are some pretty rad doors on the buildings in Ogden so I wanted to center some of my photos around those.  Random?  Yep!  Surprised?  You shouldn't be.  This group of photos were shot in front of the USDA Building on the corner of Adams Avenue and 25th Street here in Ogden.  Really cool building.  I was so giddy when I discovered it and that door.  Aw, the door.  The top I am wearing is from Chic Style Utah in South Ogden, UT.  It's a longtime favorite because of its simplicity and elegance.  Be sure to check them out by going HERE!

For the majority of my professional life in the service industry, I've played the game of association to remember people, places, things, events, lots of things.  I especially do this with clothes.  I remember people by the outfit and/or shoes they were wearing when I first met them or first saw them (that secret crush....aw yes.....that day....he looked so handsomer).  But, on the same hand, I also remember things with the clothing I have.  My entire closet is full of memories (LOTS of them...let's not get into that subject)  This outfit is substantially significant because it represents two of my dearest, longest friends who have done SO much for me in such small and simple ways.  And so I submit, in true Mary Poppins form, friends ARE the spoon full of sugar that makes the bitter medicine of life go down.

A couple of years ago I served on a committee for a Great Gatsby-themed charity gala in Utah County.  It was one of the greatest experiences of my life for a long list of reasons.  In the midst of all the planning for my part with the decorations, I was desperately trying to find the PERFECT outfit.  I went back and forth on the outfit options and what style I wanted.  I had told my friend Colleen that I was stressing over the outfit (normal in Ray Land) and one day I get a text from her that says "what size shoes do you wear?"  I told her and she replied, "I just found the most perfect Gatsby shoes and I am buying them and sending them in the mail tomorrow....be on the look-out.  You have to have them."  At this point, I hadn't decided which route I was going to take with the outfit, but was SO touched that she was on the look-out for the perfect shoes in Montana.  I had no idea what they looked like, but I trusted her judgement and when the box landed on my doorstep and I opened it,  I cried.  Basically, the perfect shoes, perfect fit and totally my style for everyday wear, not just for the event.  It may sound silly, but I treasure these shoes because of the thoughtfulness and genuine care of my friend that they represent.  I can absolutely attest to how hectic my friend's life is running a business, managing a household of hooligan boys and a diva dog, but she STILL makes time for her friends and these shoes are my constant proof.  How often do we take time to think outside of the box and do something for our friends that they would never ever do for themselves OR have the means to do?  

And then there was the skirt.  If you've been a die-hard fan of the blog, you may recognize it from a very early fashion feature that talked about my love for thrifting for things that I can transform from ugly to masterpiece.  When I wear this skirt I think of my Jo.  This skirt was the result of an SOS trip to Idaho to meet each other in the middle for comfort food, girl talk and thrifting....let me elaborate.  Jo and I have been BEST friends for 12 years.  We have gone to hell and back with each other.  We talk almost daily and are sisters from other misters.  Her family is my family.  We became friends while I lived in Montana and one of the other quirks I have is my passionate (ok maybe a little too dramatic...maybe not) love affair with Taco Johns.  It's cheap tex-mex and I HEART it.  They don't have these restaurants in Utah and it is my comfort food.  So silly, but the absolute truth and presents a problem when I am having a BAD day and just want to feel some normalcy again.  There is a Taco Johns in Pocatello, Idaho which is bascially half way for Jo and I so one Saturday I sent her the SOS text and said, "do you have plans today, I am getting in my car and driving to Taco Johns in Pokey, can you meet me?"  At this point in my life, that was a very out-of-character move and she dropped everything and got in her car and came to my rescue.  Do you have those friends that the minute you see them and hug them that you feel like you're not going to implode and can continue to conquer the world?  Jo is on that list.  She's simply amazing.  That day included a lot of shared feelings from both of us over potato oles and Diet Dew and then we found the local thrift store and laughed and laughed over how horribly ugly this dress was and how I would make it pretty and convert it to a skirt.  You don't believe me?  Look at the original blog post HERE.  It was crazy ugly and I wasn't wearing a lick of makeup when we did the duck face photo in the store.  We've since made one other SOS trip to Pocatello and it was full of laughing, eating and thrifting....our favorite.  I thank God daily for the blessing of this bestie of mine.  She does so many small, simple acts of kindness for everyone around her, including me.  But, I have to say that I adore the fact that she is my voice of reason and consistency that keeps me moving forward in the thick of the storm.

This wouldn't be a true post about simple acts of kindness without giving accolades to Suzy from Just Be Purses.  She has a really great Utah-based business called Just Be Purses.  I love her ability to make seemingly "weird fabric" into GORGEOUS one-of-a-kind masterpieces.  I featured her bags in my winter photo shoot and this time around I wanted to feature her clutch.  Isn't it gorgeous????!!  I was glad I found this one and even more grateful for her generosity in donating it for the photo shoot as well as a clutch that we are giving away (as shown below).  Genuinely kind people make life bearable.  Please show her some love by checking out her Facebook page HERE and go visit her booth at Logan's Summerfest next weekend!!  

The moral of the story: thank GOODNESS for friends who are the spoon full of sugar as we swallow the bitter medicine that is life at times.  They bring us sunshine, potato oles, and the perfect shoes...among a long long list of other things.  Thank yours today.  Do it.  NOW.  

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

  

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Love The Life You Live.



Did your mother and/or grandmother ever tell you, "you're not allowed to wear pattern with pattern because that doesn't match and is against the rules."  Mine did and for a lot of years I was terrified to sport pattern avec pattern because I felt like I was a walking fashion travesty.  Well, guess what?  Rules schmools, my lovelies....step outside of the box and give it a try like I did with outfit #2 for my winter photo shoot on COLOR!  This outfit is all sorts of wonderful from Chic Style Utah, Just Be Purses, Le Gap and Girl Ran Away With The Spoon.

This outfit has so many great elements.  The top is from Chic Style and is made by an American company called Kut from the Kloth.  It is such a phenomenal line and the quality makes up for the price.  I have a LOT of it in my closet.  The camisole that I'm wearing under it is from a company called Niki Biki.  It is a company that makes one-size-fits-all camisoles, tank tops, bandeaux, among other tops.  It's a fab line and the camisoles are extra long which is a WIN WIN WIN for this super long torso, super endowed lady.  

Can we all just take a moment and let out a deep sigh over the bag?  Oh the bag.  This is a handmade gem from a company called Just Be Purses.  My hilarious brother-in-law calls it my Mary Poppins bag.  Another funny story about this purse is it was MIA for about 6 months before I had this photo shoot because I own four of Suzy's purses and I rotate them.  Somehow this purse, which I purchased 2 years ago, got thrown in my Monica closet and sucked into the vortex of no return.  I was very glad I found it without having to disassemble the entire closet because let's be honest, that equals putting my life into my own hands.  The main reason I love Just Be Be purses is their unique design and they match everything.  Suzy uses so many different types of fabric that there is all sorts of color on each of them and I can use each purse with all my outfits...even the t-shirts and jeans.  These purses make a hoodie and jeans look bad ass and classy.  Period. 

We took the photos for this outfit in Huntsville.  What a cute little town.  I seriously love living in Ogden and I especially love Ogden Valley.  It is my happy place.  It is also fresh air in the winter...remember those crappy winter blues I told you all about?  Well, it is a regular occurrence for me to jump in my trusty SUV and take a drive to the valley to find sunshine and fresh air.  I affectionately call them Sunday sunshine adventures.

The necklace is another reminder with words.  It says "Love the Life you Live."  The artist that made it is also local (yay!) and she does great work.  Her name is Ashley Bennett Stoddard and Chic Style is the exclusive retailer for her pieces in Utah.  Ashley is also the artist that designed the snowboard pendent from my annual giveaway.  Loving the life we live can be pretty damn hard sometimes, but it can also be really glorious!  I consistently have to remind myself that I need to bloom where I am planted and embrace the here and now.  The late, great John Lennon said, "life is what's happening while we're making other plans."  Yep.  Pretty much.  How many times do we miss out on the little moments, the small victories and the simple pleasures because we are freaking the hell out about a trivial matter?  Embrace those you love more, thank the people who make your life a little easier and show compassion to those who have it worse than you.  They are out there and you may not even realize who they are.  I've found that the practice of recognizing the little things in my life that I'm grateful for helps keep me centered and grounded in the fact that I am SO very blessed.  The most important thing we should remember about life is sometimes there is a time and place for breaking the rules such as wearing polka dotted skinnies with floral or staying out late to laugh our guts out with the gal pals, telling that cute boy you know that he is in fact your favorite even though he drives you bat shit crazy OR ignoring the ever growing pile of laundry that needs to be folded.  Break the rules.  Enjoy life.  And if all else fails...choose the red shoes.... or boots in this case.

So when the going gets rough and you feel like life is against you, find a cute bag, wear pattern avec pattern, break some rules and make plans for the here and now.  You can do it.  I can do it.

The moral of the story:  With the right outfit and gratitude in your heart, you too can feel the love for the life you live.

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

P.S.  I'm on Facebook these days!  Follow my page by clicking HERE!