To My 16 Year-Old Self.

This past week I took on a new role in my church as a leader with the teen girls in our congregation.  This particular role is one that I haven't had since I was 19 and I've been grateful that they asked me to do other things.  For the majority of my adult life, I didn't want to talk to the younger generation about being a single female in our religion or how to face life and prepare to be an adult.  It's hard.  It's totally stupid at times.  Hell, being a woman is hard.  So much pressure; so much ridicule. The sleepless nights over stupid shit that didn't actually matter. The list goes on and on. However, when the time came for me to take on this role, I felt like it was going to be OK, in spite of my utter fear and feelings of inadequacy.  So far, I've only wanted to crawl in a hole maybe once or twice so that's good.  The reality is this; being a teenage girl is tough in 2017.  Social media distraction and drama; drugs; alcohol; figuring out what the hell is up with boys; finding your faith and relationship with God; learning to juggle homework, chores and hormones is hard.  

As I sat across the room from fifteen of these beautiful girls, I thought to myself, "I don't ever want to be 16 again." But, I've also thought, "what would I tell my 16 year-old self about being an adult?" So, without further adieu, here are a few of my musings from the 30+ year-old version to the 16 year-old (wishing she was older) version.  

1. Boys will always be weird; don't let it define your self-worth.  I'm pretty positive that I still have to remind myself of this on a regular basis.  The male world is a totally different breed than girl world and if we let it get to us, it's just a mess.  I read the book "Men are From Mars, Women from Venus"a few years ago and it was a good reality check.  Men are hardwired for such different things than women and they don't get it that we notice every little thing and wish they'd compliment our cute shoes and new hair, but really, they just want to eat a double cheeseburger, lift weights or make out.  Eventually they will refine their tactics a bit and you'll find one who you can live with forever, but in the meantime, don't let their weird define your self-worth.  You be you and he will be whatever it is he is and someday you'll find that guy who thinks you're the funniest, prettiest, kindest lady who says shit way too much and drinks Diet Coke more than water. 

2. The sun will rise and set on a lot of bad days; hold tight and don't give up. I had no idea how hard my life was actually going to be in the near future when I was griping about having to share a car with my brother and spend time with my family.  I didn't know that 2 years later I'd be in this dark abyss of scary as I hit an emotional low and was buried in depression.  I didn't know that I was already experiencing things that were going to set the stage for the rest of my life, in good and bad ways.  My version of "hard" was getting up at 6 am to go learn about Jesus and have pancakes for breakfast 3 out of the 5 weekdays.  Actual difficult days rolled in after I graduated and I was really glad that I had gone to those 6 am classes about Jesus because it helped me hold on real tight when I wasn't sleeping at night and was afraid of what my brain was telling me.  

3. Who you go to senior prom with will NOT matter when you're 35 so don't stress if you don't get asked. High school dances suck for everyone, but the popular kids.  They just do.  It's so much hype, stress and money and really it just does NOT matter in the grand scheme of life.  I had one dance in high school that I was 100% happy and prepared to attend with my best guy friend.  But guess what?  I don't talk to him anymore, the dress is long gone, my hair looks way better, and I don't remember what I had for dinner that night.  Dances aren't the defining moment of your life map so don't worry if that one guy in 3rd period doesn't ask you to the dance. He's probably just as wigged out as you are that he has to get dressed up, shower and buy you a flower.   

4.  Look for the good in all people; you never know who will remember what you said to them in the hall, how you made them feel, and how it might affect you later in life.  Now that I'm living in my hometown as an adult, I'm quickly being reminded of the good, the bad and the ugly that went on in my high school years.  I remember who was the total ass hat and the mean girl, but I also remember who was the popular kid with a good heart.  On the flip side, I'm discovering the impact I had on people and albeit a little overwhelming at times, I'm grateful that I had parents who taught us to be good, kind, sans drama and non-judgmental.  It's a tough gig being the token Mormon kid in a Catholic town, but I'm so beyond grateful that I had the diverse upbringing that I did.  I love people for our similarities and our differences.  

5.  God DOES have a purpose for you and He is guiding your footsteps.  Listen to your heart and soul and take risks to chase your dreams.  There is one element of my teen years and early adulthood that I still have to consciously work through to get over. Some extra pressure and control that I'm convinced triggered the depression.  I can't change it, but I have to wonder if I had been a little more confident in myself and better educated on Vitamin D levels and some other things that it could have gone better.  But, the faith-based side of me also recognizes that everything happens for a reason and everything worked out and the pieces fell together.  So, to 16 year-old me, don't forget that God is there, he knows and loves you. He is guiding your life, even when you want to poke your mother's eyes out.  

6. Set boundaries. Know where you stand so that the peer pressure can't break you. I am grateful to report that I didn't have issues with peer pressure while I was a teen.  I can count on one hand the number of times I was remotely approached to step out of my moral compass.  This is incredible because there was a LOT of shit going down during my teen years in this town and I feel like a flock of guardian angels were watching out for me.  I've had to instill more boundaries and anti-peer pressure antics in adulthood than I ever imagined.  

7. Laugh as loud as you want and sing at the top of your lungs if you feel like it. One of the most hurtful bits of criticism I ever received as a youth was that I laughed too loud.  If I told you who said it you'd be super pissed and disappointed so we won't go there.  But, I wish that I would've been a duck and let that hurtful comment roll off my back.  The person who said it was more insecure than I knew at the time and had I known what I know now, I could have said to myself, "Screw that!  I will laugh as loud as I want because it is my expression of happiness and I'm having fun and want to laugh." But, I didn't and here I am and I still remember how it made me feel and it was 20+ years ago.  Laugh. Laugh. Laugh.  Life is really sucky at times and you should always find those reasons to laugh because it builds your core muscles, strengthens your vocal chords and boosts those endorphins.  

As for singing....I grew up in a very musical family.  We're all trained singers, but we are all our own person with differing talents and imperfections.  I have insane performance anxiety when I sing solo and a lot of it stems from feeling inadequate in the eyes of peers and family members as a teen.  It's getting better, but I still get embarrassed when people notice my voice in group settings and say something.  Generally their words are kind and complimentary, but I have this subconscious 16 year-old lingering that still wonders if she's good enough.  Sing your heart out and dance in the car.  It's the best therapy and vocal practice you could ever give yourself.  I've learned more about my voice and its abilities by singing to the opera station on Pandora and it's helped me build confidence to sing in "full voice" whenever I feel like it.  

8.  Let yourself cry when you are sad or stressed. I've talked about this in previous blog posts so I won't dwell on it a lot.  I would tell my 16 year-old self that crying is actually your stress release so when it happens, let it happen because it's your body trying to get all the toxins out after a tough situation or hard day.  

9. Don't rush growing up.  Let someone else cook your meals, wash your clothes and pay the bills for as long as you can.   This advice is the one I find myself saying out loud and in my head the most when I have the chance to visit with teens and young adults in college.  I see myself in the girls I work with at church because they are super excited to graduate and have 'freedom' and run away from 'methy Montana" to far-off places.  I could not get the hell out of dodge fast enough when I graduated from junior college and I spent 13 years missing my home, family and friends terribly.  While living in Utah, I missed three funerals of very, very dear friends who died suddenly and traumatically.  Each of the days that I was told that they were killed are forever burnt in my brain because it rocked my world that I could not come home to properly say good bye and mourn their loss.  That was the result of choosing to run away and now that I'm here in my hometown, I feel a certain sense of peace that I have the chance to correct some of that mental trauma because I can visit graves and see family members who remind me that all is well and life has moved forward.  That's just one example of the things I experienced because of my running far away from home so quickly.  Be still and enjoy the moment because they will dissolve no matter what and you don't want to regret if the last conversation was a good one.  

10. Say, "I love you" freely and without embarrassment.  I was terrified to show love as a budding 16 year-old.  I let everyone around me call the shots on how I behaved in relationships.  I regret it so much. I think about those who should have known that I really really loved them as well as those who I acted like I loved, but really I was going with the crowd. The lingering reminders are still there and I wish I would have fought for the love just a little bit harder. Don't be afraid to share your feelings and have your vulnerable side come out.

I think we can all agree that being 16 had its pros and cons and that it's a damn miracle that we survived.  However, we still have the chance to learn, grow and influence those who are living it now.  I'm really honored to work with these gems because they also remind me how lucky I was to have women full of integrity who held my hand and reassured me that it would be ok on the tough days. I'm grateful for the women who woke up at 5 am so that I could learn about Jesus at 6 am and I'm especially grateful for my parents who paid the bills, cooked the food and taught me to be kind to everyone.  

The moral of the story: Be you. Laugh at you. Love you.  

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

Be sure to read last week's post: "Let's Talk Mental Health."

The Atlas of Love.

In life it is either feast or famine for me.  I'm a hopeless cause for balance some days and sometimes I just throw all care and worry to the wind and tell myself "it could be worse, I could be a dangerous addict of some kind."  Might sound a bit harsh, but I find it rather amusing (most days).  In the last year I have read more books than I have in the last 5 years.  College fried my brain and my love for reading and it has taken me this long (10+years) to recover and find my reading bug again.  While I was exiting my last career, the stress was SO HIGH.  I would come home at night and want to crawl in a ball and cry, but knew that wasn't always the answer.  I started to see some great book recommendations on Instagram and Facebook and started to read again on my iPad.  I'm a big dork about reading and if it makes my eyes hurt or I can't see the words, I won't do it. **old lady status** The beauty of my iPad is a bright, back light that means I can read in my bed, in the dark.  Perfection.  The last two books I read have been actual hard-copy books, but only because of a random chain of events, including a new light bulb in my lamp.....don't ask.....  The first book I am going to save for a 2nd edition of Beachy Reads & Sunshine Dreams, but the second gets its own post.  Read on, my lovelies!

Do you ever walk into the dollar store and stroll past the books and wonder if it's all crap or if there might be something worth reading hiding in the pile that will only cost you a buck?  On occasion I do, and the last time this happened was when in Idaho visiting my Jo bestie.  She was picking up a few items at the dollar store and the books were in the front of the store...bonus!  I started to dig through them and this book popped out at me.  As you know from my post about Sarah Boucher's book, "Becoming Beauty", I am a sucker for a pretty cover.  I shout praises to authors who have publishers with art departments that know what their doing with cover art.  I mean, I'm only one person, but I take the cover in to serious consideration when deciding whether or not to read a book. 

The front of the book says the following, "This story of women's friendships and redefining 'family' flows with lovely writing."  I could end my review right now because the person who said it was spot on.  But, I'm not!  

There were five themes in this book that I want to briefly address.  They are: friendship, faith, fear, family and love.  

Friendship:  The Atlas of Love is centered around the friendship of 3 graduate students in Seattle.  Talk about three different personalities and family structures too.  The reader quickly realizes that opposites do attract and these three girls are miraculously besties because they are SO different.  The biggest irony of this book is that one of the main characters is Mormon and she's kind of a weirdo.  I can say that because I was raised Mormon and I could tell that the author was very well-versed in her quirky Mormon.  Still so funny, but probably more so because I could relate to it better and have known LOTS of women over the years very similar to this character....let's just leave it there.  The entire premise of this book is friendship through thick, thin, sad, happy, angry and repeat over and over.  

Faith:  As I said earlier, there is a blatant reference to faith because of the Mormon main character, but she does not dominate the faith discussion.  Throughout the book, there is much deliberation about faith in life, faith in God, faith in humanity and faith in what is meant to happen.  Who can relate to that more often than you care to admit?  **pick me, pick me**

Fear:  This book involves a baby.  It involves a baby that is a BIG surprise and thus enters a boat load of fear from numerous characters.  How do you process when life throws you a curve ball that you didn't see coming?  How do you process when life throws you a curve ball that you DID see coming?  That's the toughie for me personally.  Knowing that the end is inevitable because the writing is on the wall so you brace yourself for the impact.  Fear of the future presents itself in numerous forms throughout the book as they deal with an unexpected pregnancy, some broken loves, balancing life and the mourning and coping that goes along with it.  

Family: As I quoted above, the book talks about redefining family.  Without giving too much away (ok, I'll give away as much is on the back cover), these three girls take on the raising of the baby boy who is named Atlas.  They affectionately call it tri-parenting and it sort of works.  They are all insanely busy graduate students so they make the decision that the only way this little boy can have a relatively normal life, given the circumstances, is for them to commit to be mothers together.  It really is a heartwarming and delightful concept in theory, but they soon find that the mamma bear a.k.a. she who cooked and birthed said child is still the final say in all decisions made about Atlas.  One of the things that really touched my heart was the passion that came from the two friends who weren't the biological mothers, but dedicated their lives as if they were his mother.  In addition to their commitment to this little boy, their families also committed to being adoptive grandparents and everything that accompanied these roles.  I related well because I am the proud adoptive aunt of lots of little people who I fiercely love as much as my biological nephews and niece.  Motherhood hasn't been my adventure yet and I am so grateful for the little humans who call me Auntie Ray who aren't biological, but who I love like they were from day one.  

Love: The backbone of any great story is love and this is no exception.  Love is kind, love is selfless, love is patient and love is tough.  And when I say tough, I mean both kinds--the enduring and the challenging.  I know from personal experience that the more deeply we love the more deeply we hurt.  It seriously sucks when it doesn't go in our favor, but it is also the most rewarding and beautiful gift to have in life.  My heart runneth over when I see the beautiful, giggly faces of my nephews and niece via FaceTime and even more so when I get barrel-hugged (a real word) when I see them in person.  The human heart and soul has infinite capacity to love if we will let it.  I will be the first to admit that I am one who can easily put my heart in the deep freeze and let it sit on ice for an indefinite time, but I don't like how it makes me feel.  I want to love and be loved, thus I take risks and embrace my ability to feel the way I feel and live life as it comes.  

The quote above is near the end of the book and it really inspired me.  Not too long ago I referenced "The End" really meaning "The Beginning" and I think this quote attests to that as well.  When we have loved then we can come to the close of a moment and begin the next set of amazing moments.  Love is our focus.  Love can and will continue to reclaim us if we will let it.  And just as this quote says there will be anger AND love, with hefty helpings of both, but love will always win.  I will say it again....love will win if we LET it.  Anger is hella toxic and it can eat you alive and burn your insides if you let it.  Take the time to let friendship, faith, family and love heal your heart because when love is in the air, the next chapter is about to begin.  

The moral of the story:  All you need is love.  The Fab Four knew what they were talking about.  Trust it and let it reclaim you.  

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

::GUEST BLOGGER:: Triumph Over Definition.

Note from Raylynn: I am very pleased to turn the blog over to my quirky and delightful sister, Lena, for a guest post of great proportions.  This isn't her first time on the blog and I highly recommend you check out her other post too by going HERE.  Lena is a soon-to-be senior in college in Montana and is our family's resident writer, artist, Doctor Who fan and fan girl extraordinaire.  I hope you enjoy her post as much as I do!  Be sure to check out our GIVEAWAY at the end of her blog post.  

Hello again, R’s lovelies! After making my debut on “Let it Be & Celebrate” I just couldn’t pass up a chance to make an encore appearance. It’s absolutely fantastic to be here with you all once again. Alright. now that we’ve gotten the sentimentalities out of the way, I’m just gonna go for it.

A couple years ago, I was exposed, for the first time, to a delightful young British singer named Ronan Parke. He competed on “Britain’s Got Talent” and has been developing a name for himself ever since. The centerpiece of my musings today is his song, “Defined” (I won’t feel bad if you decide to take a quick break to look it up. In fact, I hope you WILL HERE. The music video will provide an excellent visual backdrop for my thoughts). It speaks out against being labeled/stereotyped by others and feeling inferior because of it. In other words, bullying. Yep. I said it—the big, bad, B-word.

I’ve always been a passionate advocate for anti-bullying. I’ve had my fair share of it. Fortunately, it didn’t get the better of me and I continue to live my life trying to pretend it never happened. But it did. I don’t remember everything that was said/done to me, but my subconscious still does. It’s not something that can be turned off like a light switch; there’s more to it than that.

The mind of the bullied is in a near constant state of paranoia regarding their self-esteem, self-worth, and overall social acceptance. Symptoms include social awkwardness, low self-esteem, and having the need for strong, meaningful relationships. Below you will find not a textbook explanation of these symptoms, but explanations from the point of view of a survivor—from my point of view. I hope you find yourselves better educated on this life-changing epidemic infecting our society.

Symptom #1: social awkwardness. A survivor will oftentimes be afraid of social settings. They have trouble leading out in friendships and general conversations with others due to fear of saying the “wrong thing” and being rejected. Going to social events alone can be paralyzing for this very reason. Keeping to themselves is typical. However, when they find themselves in comfortable social situations, they are capable of being the life of the party.

Symptom #2: low self-esteem. A survivor is constantly questioning themselves. If they were bullied because of their physical appearance, on what part of themselves will they be particular harsh about? Anyone? Anyone? Yes, you in the back row? Very good—you are correct: their physical appearance (not exactly rocket science, is it?). Finding themselves attractive can be difficult because they were forced to believe that they are not. When such a concept is so heavily emphasized, the mind perceives it as a fact, not an opinion. Thanks to having this mindset, survivors tend to appreciate compliments even more so than what can be considered “normal.” Being assured of their beauty and worth (physically and mentally) is vital to their self-esteem. On the other side of the scale, having low self-esteem leads to the development of shoddy sarcasm filters. They may occasionally have trouble discerning the difference between sarcasm and sincerity. That being said, sarcastic remarks aimed directly at a survivor can be hurtful because they cannot tell if the one producing the remark is being serious or is “just kidding.”

Survivors find it difficult to take constructive criticism. They know that it is necessary for personal growth and know how to respond to it. However, they have to carefully monitor themselves to ensure that they don’t take it too personally, otherwise they may go into an emotional tailspin.

Symptom #3: the need for strong, meaningful relationships. More than anything, a survivor needs good relationships. They don’t need very many, but the ones they do have mean more to them than the other party/parties may ever understand. When they form strong relationships, they are willing to do anything in their power to maintain them and have no shame in being doting and affectionate. They have a constant hunger to feel wanted. Personalized attention is also extremely important. They hate being a numbered face in the crowd. They need to feel cared about.

***

As you can see, bullying has a lifelong effect. It triggers the same area of the brain that retains subconscious memories of a traumatic experience. Bullying IS a traumatic experience—an ongoing one. Why does it happen?? So many people (of all ages) struggle with being a victim of this heartless act of cruelty. I think a main reason this occurs can be attributed to a fear of the different. If it’s not “normal,” it’s not “acceptable.” Victims are therefore categorized and stereotyped. Bullies themselves may also have their own issues to work through, which can cause aggressive behavior. Cause-wise, the road runs both ways. It’s tragic.

So what can you do (hypothetically)? Tread softly and be kind to everyone. Be mindful. Be considerate. Have compassion. I can’t and won’t be defined. I live my own life. I’m free to be nothing but me. Yeah, I’m free to be ME.

***

The moral of the story: BE NICE to people.  Our differences make us unique and oh so fabulous.  Just. Be. YOU.  

Please take the time to enter our giveaway from the lovely Suzi, owner and creator of Just Be Purses in Hyrum, Utah.  An awesome, unique, one-of-a-kind clutch, with a secret surprise gift card inside, is up for grabs this week. Be sure to check out the Just Be Purses Facebook page HERE and go see them in person at Logan's SummerFest on June 18-20.  It is their only show this summer so be sure to visit!  Thank you for your continued support of our cause; I love your work & message.  

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R (and L, too)

Follow me on Facebook HERE, Instagram and Twitter (@beyoudesignut).

 

We Mourn Because We Love.

About a month ago I found a book on my iBooks called "The Impossible Lives of Greta Wells."  The book peaked my interest because it was a time travel plot of a woman working through mourning of the death of her brother who passed away after a long battle with AIDS. The time travel is actually hallucinations from electric shock therapy, but she doesn't know it for quite awhile.  At first I was worried it might be a trigger for me, but it ended up being a really good healer (in an odd, semi-morbid way) and provided a raw perspective on mourning that still has me thinking.  As we prepare for Memorial Day in the United States, I thought it was only fitting that we address this life event that none of us can bypass and never quite master.  

I've read a number of books and articles over the years about the mechanics of mourning and the common denominator is always this: we mourn because we love.  Therefore, it is OK to cry and be insanely sad and angry, even when we know it was for the better.  I've also learned that mourning doesn't just address the death of a person.  It also addresses death of a relationship because of divorce, the closing of a chapter because of a career change, the death of a pet or even the mourning of childhood as a child becomes an adult.  I've had friends and family who have experienced ALL of these scenarios and it is very challenging and always comes back to: we mourn because we love.  I think the most challenging part of mourning is that we all mourn SO differently.  Since the passing of my Granddad, my Grandma has said many times to me that she recognizes that she mourns differently than her children and grandchildren and that she is always mindful of our individual challenges along with her own.  In true @beYOUdesignsut form I opened it up for my social media followers and friends to share some thoughts about their experience with mourning.  I was so moved and humbled that they were willing to share their thoughts with me.  To protect their privacy I will not include their names.

• H: "My dad passed away 9 years ago on May 28th; just before Memorial Day and his birthday.  I always think of him this time of year.  It took me a good 6 months to begin to feel somewhat normal after he died.  I was the quintessential daddy's girl and still find myself thinking about him frequently.  My mom, who had divorced him many years prior, was the one person that shared my grief in a similar manner.  This shared grief helped me get through the tough times.  It really helped talking with somebody that truly understood the sadness."

• A: "Sometimes the grief is so strong.  The only way to move forward is mourn again.  The way I mourn is to show pictures of my brother at times that I remember him most.  But my grief is always silent.
• A: "About mourning....wow.  I'm not sure I have the words to explain about grief and mourning.  There are so many things I've learned about grief since my mom died.  First of all, I had no idea how PHYSICAL grief is.  It's not just emotions.  It has full-on physical aspects that can affect you so much that they become overwhelming.  After my mom died, I had a hard time sleeping.  I often had headaches and I gained weight from the stress.  In addition, I had a hard time even caring about anything and I had VERY little patience for those around me.  Something very positive for me that has come from my grief has been seeing the "mourning with those that mourn" ideology [Mormonism] in action.  It was so comforting to have friends attend my mom's memorial service and cry with me.  Even months later, I have friends who talk to me about my mom and weep with me -- truly mourning with one who mourns: me.  But I've also seen it in my life.  I have SO much more empathy for others who have a death in their family.  I never would have had that much emotion or empathy regarding another person's loss without have gone through a similar experience myself.  It has truly been a blessing in my life to be able to mourn with other people who mourn."
• J: "I think mourning is a long process with very sudden, short-lived, truly sad moments.  My grandmother passed in January and she had been so sick.  I know she was ready and at peace so I am glad she doesn't have to suffer any more.  I didn't cry a lot when we had her funeral.  I was strong for my family and I felt a lot of peace knowing she was going to heaven.  (It is sad to leave this world, but the wonderful things to come are beyond my imagination.)  There were moments of sadness, but no lay down and cry sad times.  We really celebrated her life.  However, a couple of weeks later, someone posted something on Facebook about the slippers she made and how wonderful they had them at the cabin.  Friends of my cousin were using the slipper she made.  I was hit with insane jealousy and that they had them and I didn't.  I cried over slippers, but it was tears for the loss of the amazing woman who would never make me another pair.  It passed, but moments still come and go where you feel that loss.  Our lives continue on and we have to live in the present but the sadness of loss lurks somewhere under the surface and rears is head on occasion. 

My own personal grief experiences have all differed, but the experiences shared above really touched me because I've felt some of those same sentiments with different deaths.  I remember after my paternal grandmother had been deceased for almost 5 years that I had a total meltdown in the laundromat over QUARTERS.  She had given me her spare quarters when I was in college and at that moment, I missed her so so much as I held my sandwich bag of quarters.  Another friend's passing took a good four years for me to come to terms with.  His death was sudden and he had always been like an older brother to me.  He told me that he would be on the front row at my wedding when the time was right.  When I heard of his passing, I sobbed for months...years....that I had failed him and wasn't married when he died and didn't give him the chance to live up to his promise.  The knowledge of heaven and guardian angels has helped me work through that and I know that he will be with me in spirit when the day arrives.  A dear manager from the beginning of my career passed away suddenly a couple of years ago and I mourned quite deeply for her.  She was a HUGE inspiration and helped shape me in to an organized career woman.  I often think of her as I sip tea from the Starbucks mug she gave me for Christmas one year and when I have all my work notes in various notebooks and use her systems of "anti-post-it notes" to keep track of my day.

The moral of the story: May we share our quarters and send random mail while living the legacy of our loved ones who have passed on AND mourn with those who mourn.  One thing is for sure, it always eases the pain of others when there is a spare, caring shoulder to cry on when it is our turn.

Until next time, my lovelies!
-R

New Adventures

Have you missed me??  Life went in to HIGH gear after Father's Day and I've been in full concentration mode to keep in check with my mental health. 

Onward and upward is the theme of this post. How are we facing our challenges in life? Are we looking at them with blinders or with our eyes wide open with the big picture in mind? It is safe to say that at any given moment it could be any and all of the above. Living with faith AND

courage is HARD! I am not perfect and always chipper and charming. In fact I can be quite cynical and pissy when I don't have control over the situation. For me, it wasn't until I let go of the fear and channeled my focus to positive that the stars started to align. Every day I have seen incredible miracles come to play, even if it was the fact that I could still function on NO sleep. 

The most enlightening piece of advice I received was from a dear work associate and now friend. As she and I sat at the Ogden Arts Festival a couple weeks ago she suggested that I start channelling my journal efforts. These were her suggestions:

1. Write "I love you" at the top of the page.

2. Write 3 things you are thankful for 

3. Write a moment of pleasure.

4. Write a moment of success

5. Write one thing you love about yourself.

After day 2 I was already seeing a change. The sky wasn't changing colors or a fairy godmother was appearing out of nowhere, but my mind was putting itself at ease because I was loving it and appreciating it and recognizing the good that was all around me. 

I will forever be a HUGE fan of journalling as a mental health magic potion, but I am once again amaZed at the true power if actually has in the grand scheme. We are

blessed for the EFFORT we make to love ourselves and cut some slack during the challenging times. Because when it's all said and done we are surrounded by BUCKETS of blessings down below the black clouds. We can do hard things. 

The moral of the story: blessings come all the time. It's our job to recognize and CELEBRATE them. 

Until next time, my lovelies!!

-R