Don't mess with the mamma bear.

A number of years ago I was asked the following question in a job interview, "if you could be any animal what would it be and why?" Without much hesitation I answered mamma bear. And my reasoning was I'm fearcely protective of the people I love, whether they are family members, friends or people on my team at work.  Don't mess with my Cubs, unless you want a good solid ass whooping. Like seriously. Don't.

Earlier this week I was having a conversation with someone and it came up that I wasn't a mother yet. I always hate these conversations because it seems to be a token of definition here in Utah whether or not a female has pushed a watermelon out of a garden hose.This conversation happened to be with someone who is a therapist for teenage girls and it spurred my need to elaborate more than normal. 

I told him that after I turned 30 I decided that I wasn't going to let the cultural labels of childless vs. mother define me and that I would channel my deep desire to be a mom through other venues. When I moved to Ogden I was strongly encouraged to get involved with non-profit organizations in the community. We were advised to be involved in something that we were passionate about so there would be motivation to continue. I knew I wanted to be involved with something that helped women and/or children.

I was introduced to the Weber-Morgan Children's Justice Center. My co-worker at the time  is the chairman of the board and I quickly learned that this organization was something special. I volunteered for their annual gala and then this year I helped as well. Since I have changed jobs I now have more free time and it is even more critical to be involved in the community. I'm thrilled to announce that I've been asked to be on the board and will be official this week! I'm so stinkin excited!! This organization is absolutely critical in the law enforcement world because it provides a safe place for kids to come and play and thereby talk with private investigators as they play together. On Saturday they had an event called the Ride for Justice. It was all sorts of biker going on and quite humbling. And you bet your buttons I had on my service Sanuks and a cute outfit!

The best part was the processional of bikes revved up and ready to leave. As I watched them leave I got choked up because I knew what was the common denominator in this ... People who all support a cause that helps the little people. And then my mamma bear kicked in and I had the overwhelming feeling of, "if anyone anyone anyone ever laid a finger on my little loves I would KILL them." And then I came full circle; in that my involvement with this organization is filling my mommy  void and I love it. And I may never see those victims face-to-face, but I've been where they have been and I can feel the connection. 

I feel so blessed to call this random 'hood my home sweet home. I ended the day on a balcony in downtown Ogden looking over the roof tops and basking in the beauty. I am lucky as ever to be here and involved in such wonderful organizations.

The moral of the story: my life may not be what some think it should be, based on whether or not I have offspring to brag about, but I sure as hell am a mamma bear at heart and will do whatever I can to defend and protect those littles. 

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

Raising Girls

Tonight I was the co-hostess for my dear friend's baby shower. She and her

husband were surprised with this pregnancy and they are pleased to have a little girl on the way. She is 38 and this is baby #5 so I insisted on a party. I may have gone over budget and I am not ashamed. I haven't bought anything pink and cutesy in years. And deep in my heart I look forward to my turn to birth a daughter. Yep. I said it.

I haven't talked a lot about my mom because she is funny about social media exposure, but I feel it is necessary. She can get over it after she reads this post. It hasn't been easy being the daughter to this woman. I am the oldest and she was young when I was born. She even admits that she kind of felt like a failure when I was still a baby so she had my brother quick to prove that she didn't completely suck at motherhood. She and I didn't see eye-to-eye for a lot of years and it was rough. However, this mamma bear was adamant that her kids were educated and they knew the facts of life. We may have been scared shitless to mess up but we knew choices brought consequences and that we had to work hard to be successful. Now there are lots of regrets in fights and statements that were made but forgiveness is real and there have been some pretty major trials and experiences for both of us that have helped us grow. 

It is not easy for a woman who had 5 hooligan brothers to raise 3 daughters. It is also not easy to raise girls when the oldest is a redhead, the middle is a feisty free spirit and the youngest is an angel from God. We are the Motley Crüe of whatever. But. We are passionate. We are deeply commited to our family, our sweethearts and our country because our mom is to hers. With that I give further insight.

Family: My mom is very very devoted to her family both living and deceased. She's a family history nut and as a result we know all sorts of information about the living and the dead. Additionally, she absolutely loves her parents, her brothers, her sisters-in-law and her grandbabies. I have never set foot at Disneyland because any available family vacation time was spent with her family. They are loud, redneck, very Republican but oh so incredible. And we are content with a package of hot dogs, some buns and a fire, as long as we are together. 

Love: My mom made the decision to be a homemaker from day 1 of her life as a mother. She raised us with a passion for musicals, opera and family history, among other things. We also knew that she had fallen short of a bachelors degree to raise kids and it always bothered her that her education wasn't complete. So she insisted that all her children, especially her girls. would be educated. It just was not an option to give up in the middle. It was a proud day for me to see her graduate with her bachelors degree a week after I did. She has always been a devoted wife to my quirky adorable dad. The older I get and the more relationships I have the funnier it is to see how their relationship ticks. They are a crack up, but a good match. 

Country: Without doubt I can credit my love for this country and its flag because of my mom. We knew when ALL the flag-flying holidays were and why they existed. We also knew that both our parents were faithful voters and I was most excited about turning 18 so I could have my turn at the polls. The right to our opinion was and still is a sacred one and she was proud of us as we exercised  that right.

We are living in an extremely different time than when I was a kid. Our girls are exposed to muck and smut all day long from so many different avenues. If you think that you can protect your daughters from it all YOU ARE WRONG. At one click of a button she can see every which way to do whatever and whenever. We need to teach our girls to know their boundaries and stand their ground in school, work, relationships and the polls. If we are teaching the fundamental wisdom that choices bring consequences and being REAL about what those actually mean it will be ok. And even if they mess up they will rebound and come back. I am deeply upset when I see things that fly across the news that take away the right to choose for women. I am a Mormon and I just said that in print. Get over it. And I'm not talking about abortion or birth control so don't jump to conclusions. And ya, that may cause you to roll your eyes, but ultimately we need to have the right to dictate our own lives and the choices we make are our business. If we make it our life's mantra to live and let live, I know that we will be greatly enriched by everyone who is going after the same goal: to make it another day and not go bat shit crazy. It's pretty simple. 

The moral of the story: much to her surprise my mom raised awesome daughters who are a lot more like her than they will EVER admit out loud. 

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R