My Reality.

Happy Friday, my lovelies!  What a week!  I finished Amy Purdy's book "On My Own Two Feet" and it was incredibly well-written and inspiring.  I couldn't put it down.  I am not a reader.  I get frustrated with not being able to see the book in my cave-dark bedroom (old lady eyes), but I have read more since I got my iPad mini because it has a back light...it's the simple joys of technology.  This book though, I purchased in "real book" form because I knew I would want to highlight and mark pages and I was right.  As I was reading the final few chapters and especially the epilogue I was moved to share some things with all of you that I haven't shared in depth up to this point.

 

The quote above was from one of the final chapters. After reading Amy's story of losing her legs, having a kidney transplant, learning to walk again, learning to dance again, opening a successful non-profit, and most of all learning to snowboard as a double amputee and later competing in the Paraolympics, I was floored when she said this quote.  I am not a snowboarder and part of the reason is I am scared as hell of those big fat rocks that are secretly hiding under the glistening powder that cause people to go flying, bust up their helmet and have traumatic brain injury.  But then I read this quote and it donned on me...uh, hello, Raylynn, you have your own set of hidden death boulders and it's called depression.  Oh snap.  I just said the D word.  Now that I've said, we must speak of it. 

 

Over the years I have had some c-razy bouts with depression.  It started when I was 19 and I was prescribed birth control for ovarian cysts.  My doctor assumed that I would be like any other woman and my body would just adjust like normal and I would be fine.  What happened was one of THE most terrifying and hopeless times of my life.  I kid you not.  I laid awake at night staring at the ceiling wondering if I was going to make it another day, praying I would fall asleep and it would be gone and then as soon as the sun came up all I wanted to do was crawl under my covers and sleep.  I would dry heave in the morning when I tried to brush my teeth and I had no appetite.  I lost 50 pounds in 6 months.  It was almost like I was pregnant.  HORRIBLE.  Depression is the biggest freaking paradox around.  When you absolutely want to cut yourself off from civilization is when you absolutely NEED to be in civilization and around people who love you.  It is the most painful awful realization because that is the ONLY way you can kick yourself out of it.  And even when you do force yourself out of bed to interact with other warm bodies, it doesn't automatically mean it's going to go away.  It takes time and effort and prayer and many times medication. 

 

One of the main things I learned from that first terrifying rounds of depression were my triggers.  It would still take me about 10 years to really get it down, but little by little I learned what set me off.  At the top of that list is sleep.  As soon as the sleep deprivation happens I can almost guarantee that I will slip into a funk.  It's like clock work and it scares me.  I am almost a habitual napper just so that it doesn't happen.  True story.  I also have learned that I need regroup time.  When a crazy day has happened or something catastrophic has happened in my life or those around me I need quiet time.  I need time in my bed (or the bath tub) in the peace and quiet to cry it out, think it through, nap it off and THEN we can move forward and have a plan. 

 

The second really bad round was when I lived in Salt Lake and made the decision to go to therapy.  I wrote about that experience in one of my first blog posts.  You can find that here.  That round I was more prepared because I knew my triggers but that didn't stop it from happening.  I was in a really terrible job and was stripping myself of some emotional baggage and it took its toll.  At this point I decided that I needed to get my ass to the gym and work it off and that's exactly what I did.  But!  Here's the deal, THAT still didn't' help on some days.  I remember a few too many days that I would be at the gym for 3 hours of grueling tough classes and I would still walk out the door crying because the stress was so high.  Thank God for those few good people who knew what was really going on and loved me through it. 

 

The third round is the gift that keeps on giving and that is seasonal blues.  I HATE winter.  I hate being cold and I hate the days being short.  I know....I should learn to ski, I should learn to snowboard, blah blah blah, but honestly, I don't want to at this point in my life.  I'm getting closer, but it's a huge expense to just pick up a snow sport.  Winters in Utah are really challenging because we experience inversion.  Dark, smoggy gross days.  It was worse when I lived in Salt Lake, but for whatever reason we've had some bad days here in the 'hood this week.  On Sunday I knew that there would not be a single minute of sunshine so I just hid in my bed for most of the day.  Then Monday rolled around and the same realization hit me as I headed out the door.  Heart sank and I tried not to cry.  To harbor the inevitable I came home every day and made dinner and crawled in bed to read my book.  So I finished in a much quicker time frame than normal.  Thanks to picking up my journaling again and escaping through a new book I am feeling pretty good today. 

 

If I can make any point with this post it is this:  you (yes you, not the person behind you) have NO idea who is struggling with mental health boulders.  The other completely SHITTY thing about depression is the lack of physical side effects.  I am an expert at "fake it to make it" but honestly I really wish that people would believe me when I tell them, "I am dying inside and I can't make it go away" and the reality that it may be that way one day and not the next.  If the sun is out, especially in the winter, I am probably having a pretty damn good day.  If it's no sunny, I'm probably not doing that great.  I am so very grateful for the people who I have been blessed with in my life who have brought consistency and support as I have rode the roller coaster of life.  I am also grateful for my trusty trick of napping it out and then facing the issue.  It helps SO much. 

 

The moral of the story:  We don't get to pick what hides under the powder of life, but we can prepare ourselves by making damn sure that our equipment works the way its supposed to and we are ready to ride the bunny hill if need be. 

 

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

 

DON'T FORGET TO ENTER THE GIVEAWAY!!!

 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Amy Purdy, Swag and a Giveaway!

Hello, my lovelies! I'm excited to announce my annual "All You Need is Love" giveaway.  Last year we were still small in the number of followers on le instagram, but this year I am upping my game.  I've decided to run the giveaway through the blog and thank heavens for Rafflecopter.  Nothing makes me happier than a free app that keeps me organized.  Can I get an amen, hallelujah from the congregation?

This year's giveaway is the incredible memoir by the double amputee American Winter Olympian, Amy Purdy.  If you're not familiar with her story you are truly missing out on an inspiring tale of great magnitude.  To read more and more check out her website here.  I first heard about her when she was the celebrity dance partner for Derek Hough (be still my heart) on ABC's Dancing With The Stars.  She blew my mind with her dedication and attention to detail against all odds.  It was by far one of the best seasons ever.  The best part was her ability she push Derek, a decorated and talented choreographer, to new heights by forcing him to create dance routines that accommodated her lack of nerve function in the feet.  Every week she came out and did more and more and more.  Oh and did I mention she's a kick ass snow boarder????  Um ya.  She's created a sport of its own (as if it needed to be any cooler) and has developed a technique through her ability to adapt to boarding with bionic legs. 

As I've been reading the book I have shed tears and laughed and cried again.  A lot of her story is a very spiritual one and her journey through losing her legs because of Meningitis when she was 19.  She also talks about her dad and his greatest sacrifice of donating a kidney for his daughter.  Just this week she started a new campaign with Toyota and talked about her dad.  It is the coolest ad.  Take a look by following this link.  Are you crying yet?  If you recall I wrote a blog post about my daddy, my hero, and this ad made me think of him.  He has always been SO good to his daughters and loved us just the way we were which is a tid bit crazy (we get it from our mother) and was a good sport about watching chick flicks and letting us do his hair.  He also was such a champ when we would come home and tell him about the latest cute boy that we were destined to marry.  Oh wait...that might still happen a little for this daughter.  It doesn't happen as often as high school, but there have been a few lads that my daddy definitely heard the WHOLE STORY about long before my mother.  He's always been our sentimental rock and for that I love and appreciate him so much.

As soon as I started reading the book, I knew I wanted to have it be my main giveaway this year.  February is going to be the month of LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE yourself (the good kind, not the selfish kind) and we are going to talk about embracing the body God blessed you with by rocking the COLOR in your fashion choices.  I will have fun photos from my photo shoot with Kel-Z Photography and we will talk color and pattern and a lot of other fun things.  Additionally, I'm going to spotlight my dear friend D'Arcy's wonderful store, Chic Style.  She has been such a blessing as a friend and confidant, in addition to feeding my fashion fetish and it's time to talk about why and in more detail than I have in the past.  One of the secret swag bag items is a beautiful pendant from a local Ogden Valley artist named Ashley Bennett Stoddard that Chic Style sells.  This is one of my favorite pendants that she's designed and it is a pewter snowboard.  BUT!  The fabulous thing is you don't need to be a boarder to enjoy it because she has incorporated nature into the pendent and it is a gorgeous piece to wear with just about everything.  Check it out here.  I also have a few other items in the works for the swag bag, but I'm going to keep them a secret, but they are going to rock.

I am so excited to share this book with you.  I have lived through some pretty dark days in my adult life, but NOTHING compares to what Amy Purdy has been through and she does it with such grace and poise and faith.  We can all draw such hope from reading her story and re-read it on the really BAD days.  In conclusion I want to share the following video with you from Amy's time on Dancing With The Stars.  Watch and be amazed, my lovelies. 

The moral of the story:  Even against all odds, we too can have bionic super powers and shred through life with a heart full of faith and determination!

Until next time, my lovelies!
-R

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Blending: OVERRATED.

Happy 2015, my lovelies!  It has been a great year so far...ha ha ha...you know the first what 4 days?  The true story is off to a good start, but this partay has only just begun.  It's kind of like people asking me how my day has been so far and it's only 9:30 a.m.  For the record, if any of you ever want to have a conversation that I remember and/or doesn't include some very brutal glares and empty stares, hand me a McDonald's Dollar Menu Diet Coke and schedule it for after 10 am.  But, I digress......

So this little bloggy blog and le instagram had a good rookie run in 2014.  It's really fun to be coming around the bend to doing something for the second time.  That means I might actually know what I'm doing, right ? Ha!  That's what I make you think.  We are coming upon two of those things.  Another photo shoot with Kel-Z Photography and my annual "All You Need is Love" giveaway.  But, we're only going to talk about the photo shoot (eeek!) and the focus this time around.  

Kelsey and I both have a hard time loving winter so we decided at the last photo shoot that we would have a follow-up shoot in January that would be AWESOME and a good distraction for the winter blahs. Each of the outfits will have lots of meaning, COLOR and a good story.  As preparation I decided to take a drive to Ogden Valley this afternoon to scope spots and snap some photos to show you what you have to look forward to.  As soon as I was up there it became clearly evident that I was not going to be blending in nature any time soon.  I mean I was wearing a red newsboy and a mustard yellow scarf.  Welcome to ketchup and mustard??  And that got me thinking....So let's talk about NOT blending because it is SO overrated and can also save you from getting clocked by a pickup truck hauling multiple snowmobiles....that didn't actually happen, but it could have!  

So, what is it with people and their obsession with looking or acting like the next guy or girl?  I just don't get it!  God created us to be ourselves for a reason, people!  If we were all the same it would be one big snooze fest and boring as hell!  God knows all, therefore, He done good and created us different!  Embrace it, damn it!  I've really struggled with some relationships as of late and my biggest issue is the fact that there is an expectation for me to change and give and give and give without reciprocation and, last but not least, be like the other women around me.  Um, hello, if you wanted a cookie-cutter lady then why didn't you drive your little knickers to the local Williams & Sonoma and pick up some high-end cookie cutters and make your own damn woman?  Oh, wait, it's because that's not how it works.  I also get really really tired of being the token gal pal who is there to be the free therapist, ongoing comedic act and professional support, but when I need them to BE THERE they are off in la la land.  This blog is absolutely not meant to be a sob fest, but I just want my readers to know that they are not alone when they feel like they are praying and hoping and showing compassion towards people who are just living with their stupid heads in the sand and making it miserable for us to still love them.....or tolerate them, however you look at it.  Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes it doesn't come without a few silent tears and swearing under the breath and boat loads of patience.  

We ARE simply gorgeous and we ARE simply unique and people have two choices....take us the way we are or hastily exit the premisis.  There is a lot to be learned about relationships by all of us and I am learning too.  So, the next time you see someone who has a tattoo that you genuinely admire, tell them!  You might be surprised what their response is!  If you appreciate someone's quirky unique approach on life, thank them!  And if you love someone, say it OUT LOUD and give them a hug and a kiss (if that won't get you thrown in the slammer or your ass whooped by their significant other).  Be aware of people's needs and S-T-O-P blending.  

The moral of the story:  blending is meant for eye shadow, not humans.  Jump out of your comfort zone and connect with people and BE YOU!!!!

Until next time, my lovelies!
-R

2014 : tears, triumphs and toasts to new adventures.

Well, here we are. Christmas has come and gone. I was, in fact, not on the naughty list and now it's time to recap a whirlwind freaking crazy year and talk about the triumph over those blasted imperfections that managed to become such lovely blessings.  You ready for this, ma peeps? 

In true Raylynn spirit I'm only going to talk about my Top 5 moments because I could easily talk about each of the pictures above (one per month) but I won't bore you and you've probably already seen them if you follow le instagram. Even as I look at all of the photos I get sentimental because this year goes down in the books and each picture has a story and it's deep and close to my heart. Before we go any further I want to share my annual holiday card with you. 

Below the visually obvious, "Simply Blessed" it reads, "A whirlwind year with tears & triumphs! Happy Holidays from the 'Hood. Love - Raylynn"

Let's get down to business.

 *Raylynn's 5 Best Moments of 2014 (there are plenty more)*

1.  April:  Spring brought a lot of sadness and looming reality that my career of 11 years was hastily coming to a close.  In the midst of all the struggle, I found great solace in my little experiment on Instagram and even more joy in creating a hash tag revolution for my darling kiwi girl Anneke.  The photo above (that resembles more of a dead body than a gingerbread man) was the very first #shoeselfieforanneke that I snapped and, as of writing this, I am pleased to report that we have 317 photos from across the globe for our darling girl.  She is doing amazing things as she continues to face her personal struggles and I am so proud of her.  I will admit that I'm a bit jealous that it is SUMMER in her world right now, but I can't have sunshine and sand all the time.  If you would like to read about the revolution -- click here--

After a whole lotta prayin.....

2.  June: PEACE OUT CAREER OF 11 YEARS!  It may have happened on June 30, but let me tell you what that goof ball picture of me looking tired and haggard but so damn overjoyed was the greatest day of my life and the best day in June.  I finally chose to leave the comfort of money that came with a whole too much drama and politics for a new job in a new industry that has given me the flexibility to grow, be creative and connect with such amazing and wonderful people.  Every day I come to work I thank God for dropping that one special person in my life who made the connection to this new job.  She is a guardian angel of 2014 and I don't let her forget it. 

3.  July:  I love July.  It's my birthday month.  And it also started with a week of relaxation, pampering and a trip to see my Jo in Idaho for the Fourth of July.  As I acted like a kid with my sparklers in the street, I again thanked God for all my many blessings and the fact that I was sleeping through the night again.  To read all about that fabulous week goooooo here!

 

4.  September:  Three words.  Van. Lady. Love.  Read the original blog.  It's probably one of my all-time favorite posts this year.  I sound like a complete crazy person and a silly groupie girl over that cute beardy boy named Steele, but I'm only sort of crazy and they are such a great band.  Truly.  Never underestimate the power of a good pair of red shoes.  Needle point that on a pillow. 

 

5. November:  Fashion features for an entire month!!!!!!!!!  Woot!  This girl was in heaven sharing some of my favorite outfits with all of you.  And it meant that I had the opportunity to have another photo shoot with a lovely photographer from Ogden.  Kel-Z Photography and I had a blast running around Ogden snapping some gorgeous photos for features on Mandatory Metallica, Polka Dots in the 'Hood, and Bringin Homemade to the Yard. 

 

Ok, because I'm the boss, I will say one extra thing because ... I can....  This year, because of my exit from my career, I was able to join the Friends Board for the Weber-Morgan Children's Justice Center.  I wrote about this in September after we did our annual motorcycle ride, but I just have to say that it has been such a HUGE blessing.  I am surrounded by some really incredible people who are fiercely passionate about this cause and it has boosted my spirits and got me out of my comfort zone on a few things.  I love it.  As the year ends and I look at my calendar for 2015 much of the first half of my year is going to be consumed by planning for our HUGE gala in May.  It is going to ROCK & I can't wait to tell you all about it. 

 

I spent some quality (pish, who am I kidding) time in bed, very sick, this past weekend, which meant I got to peruse social media and find inspiring quotes.  I found this one and I've decided that it's going to be my personal mantra for 2015.  I've taken this approach with my blog already and have kept it strictly about my musings and not about sponsorships or money because I know that who needs to find me and my words will and those who don't, won't.  Plain and simple.  We don't need to prove to people that we are awesome, my lovelies.  They can take the time to talk to us and find out. 

The moral of the story:  Although my year was FULL of tears, it was also full of SO much triumph and joy and that is what I will look back on with gratitude in my heart when I remember 2014. 

Until 2015, my lovelies!  And CHEEEEEEEEEEERS!
-R

 

Pageantry and All Its Glory.

Last week I included a hyper link to a new Nativity video that was released by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir this year.  I've probably watched that video 10 times this week.  It is magical.  You should watch it again by clicking HERE.  As I was watching it, I was reminded of my next holiday favorite and that are children's nativities and my favorite short story, "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" by Barbara Robinson.  

Before we get any further, let's just talk about that super cute and sassy redhead angel in the photos above!  You wonder where the buns began?  Right here, folks.  This was a nativity photo shoot for church that we did when I was about 4 and I still love looking at the photos.  I had my mother send them to me in electronic form so I could share them with all of you.  There is something so stinkin cute about rambunctious children coming together to re-create one of the most important stories of Christianity.  When I was growing up we would always read the story of Christ's birth as a family on Christmas Eve, but those years that we acted it out (when we had a real baby that could be Baby Jesus in human form, not just some lame doll) were so much more memorable and enjoyable.  Notice the theme that memories vs. things prospered in my household?  I also remember another year that we had a nativity with all the church kids in our congregation and I was Mary and my crush was Joseph.  How dreamy?????  We were 11, but it was perfection.  Every time I see his family when I go home to visit I giggle inside because I still think of my time as Mary fondly.  He was a pretty dishy Joseph even for a man of 11.  

So let's talk about the book.  "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" is a book that we read often when I was growing up.  My parents had the original copy from their childhood collections and I LOVED reading it.  The story was written in 1971 and is about six hooligan children who raise so much hell in their town that no one wants to deal with them.  The book opens with us finding out about their love for fire and stealing, among other things.  Before long they get wind that they serve "food" at church (bread and wine) and that every year they put on a pageant that's all about Baby Jesus.  As you can imagine these kids were hooked at the word food and miraculously become the most faithful cast members ever.  What unfolds is so hilarious, but ends with a pageant that everyone thought was going to be a COMPLETE DISASTER, but is actually the town's finest performance ever.  A few years ago I found a new edition of the book at Barnes & Noble and decided to buy myself a copy to read each year.  I always read it the week of Christmas so that I am warmhearted and prepared for Christmas the way that everyone should be prepared..remembering the reason for the season and that is little baby Jesus.  I'm still in the process of reading it this year so I won't give away too many of the good quotes.  I will just say this....read it!  It's so cute!  I also noticed online that they've created a children's story edition that is shorter and has bright fun pictures.  You can find that here.  There was also a cheesy, low budget TV movie made in the 80's and it is classic and might bring a tear or two to your eyes both from laughing and crying.

As you've probably gathered from reading my blog posts, I am a big fan of the technique, "how can I apply this to real life?"  So, here's the deal.  Living in Ogden means I am surrounded by children who are living in conditions far worse than I care to admit.  My lovely friend, Sarah aka Ethel, teaches kindergarten at a local inner-city school and every year she tells me about her kids whose primary residence is the homeless shelter.  Sigh.  That is just shitty for them.  The other day when I was driving to work, one of the school districts was busing kids to a local theater to see "The Nutcracker."  It's the same school district as Sarah so I knew that a good portion of these kids were probably elated to have a fancy outing in the middle of their school week.  I happened to catch a green light while turning left so I had to wait for like 40 kids to run across the street.  As I sat in my car, I watched a child run across in a t-shirt that looked like a tent and a dirty little face and matted hair.  And then I thought of this book.  I thought of crusty Imogene as Mary and Gladys as she says, "Hey!  Unto you a child is born!"  and then I got all misty eyed and in mamma bear mode and almost missed my opportunity to turn.  I've been tasked with running the Facebook page for the Weber-Morgan Children's Justice Center and I posted some interesting, but very sad, content this week about children who are neglected.

Did you know?
1. Children exposed to maltreatment are at increased risk of educational underachievement, including lower verbal and math scores.
2. Neglected children have poorer academic performance than physically maltreated children.
3. Maltreated children have higher rates of absenteeism from school than non-maltreated peers.
4. Maltreated children are at substantially higher risk than non-maltreated children of repeating a grade.
5. Maltreated children are at increased risk of dropping out of school before high school graduation.
6. Maltreated children are more likely to be referred for special education services.
7. Maltreated children are more likely than their peers to exhibit poor social skills and classroom behavior problems.
8. A child’s risk of poor academic functioning is substantially heightened by multiple victimizations.

Ref: National Children's Advocacy Center "As A Matter of Fact: The Relationship Between Child Maltreatment and Academic Achievement"

That, my lovelies, is sad, sad and sad.  I often wonder what the author was really trying to prove when she set out to write "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever."  Was she proving that kids are hilarious, but can still portray the story of Jesus' birth in a moving and semi-spiritual manner OR was she trying to make a point about watching out for the kids in our communities who are probably hooligans more for the attention and seeking of love than just being little punks?  No matter her motive, I am so grateful that she created this story because it makes my heart happy and I STILL laugh out loud a lot when the pageant directors try to explain the story to the Herdman kids and they are nearly saying "what the hell" for chapters on end.

The moral of the story:  Kids are always going to be kids and generally that involves hooliganism and cuteness wrapped all into one.  But, if we will show some compassion and take heed to look out for the kids who really have no one else to love them, we will be richly blessed and so will they.  You can do it.  I can do it.

Until next time, my lovelies!
-R

Maybe Christmas Doesn't Come From a Store.

How's everyone holding up with the hustle and bustle of the holidays? I'm pretty much a mush-brained crazy person who is looking forward to a long winter's nap in the very near future.

This week's holiday favorite things is about my favorite children's story: the magnificent "How The Grinch Stole Christmas." By Dr. Seuss. What a timeless classic that teaches an even more timeless lesson. I also love the Jim Carrey movie version but it's technically not my favorite holiday movie so it will get an honorable mention but that's about it. 

I am often reminded of the main theme of this story and that is, "does Christmas really come from a store?" But even more what years do I remember most from my childhood and adulthood? Are they the years of feast or famine? I posed this question to the masses via Facebook and Instagram and the answers were so moving. I will share them in a minute. With the exception of the year I got a Dance Club Barbie (with coordinating dance tape) my best memories of Christmas were the years of spending it with more people and less things. I was raised in a Mormon home and while I was in high school my dad was the leader of our local congregation. His official title was Bishop. During the holidays, well all the time really, but more so during the holidays, the bishop's family quickly becomes a center for attention. Extra treat plates, cute gifts from the children and an unspoken expectation to take care of the needy who have no one else. Now for a bunch of punk teenagers, the LAST thing we wanted to do was take care of the needy in our congregation. They smelled funny and made us uncomfortable. But my parents prevailed and one year we decided that we would go, as a family, to the rest homes and assisted living care units to sing carols on Christmas Eve. I am telling you what, we were NOT thrilled. The rest home was especially challenging because they are the complete opposite of holiday cheer. But we did it. One of the widows we visited was blind so in order for her to know we were there we had to squeeze her hand and tell her who we were.  Each of us did it and then we started singing carols from our hymnbook. In the dim light of this dear blind lady's room, I looked over and saw her roommate laying in her bed, mouthing the words along with us with a tear glistening in her eye. That's been close to 15 years ago and I can still remember how it made me FEEL. No idea what my gifts were that year, but it was an unforgettable Christmas.

The best Christmas I remember as an adult was the year I implemented my own tradition of anonymous Secret Santa. It was my 2nd year as a working adult and I had a co-worker who was desperately struggling to hold on to her sanity and be a single mom with poor health and no money. I ADORED her and it broke my heart to see her struggle so much. In this particular job we always got a holiday bonus that was a percentage of our annual salary. Even for a lowly teller that was a good chunk of change. I decided, along with the wife of a VP, that we would send something to her in the mail as her Christmas guardian angels. And that we did. I'll never forget the day she came to work with the card in hand, in tears, telling us that she had experienced a Christmas miracle and could buy groceries for her kids. I could tell you pages and pages of stories, but most of them are so dear to my heart and are not intended to be broadcast and initiate bravado. 

Do you ever feel like you have the Grinch sitting on your shoulder, whispering in your ear, "screw sharing. You earned this money, you go right ahead and spend unholy amounts on frivolous things for yourself." It might look something like this....

Well, allow me to share with you two experiences from dear friends of mine about their most memorable Christmases. I think you'll find that they too were the most blessed by those around them looking out for their family during times of trial or "famine."

The first is from K: 

"Famine for sure. R has had lots of medical issues and one Christmas we had so many medical bills that we weren't going to be able to do much for Christmas. Someone was anonymously "Santa" for our family. Left my kids voice mails from him, letters, presents, stockings, food. They did something every day for a whole month. I will never forget it. I would say I mostly remember events because it's all about who you're with."

The next is from L:

"The years which remain the clearest are the ones with disparity. Being older than my sis. and bro. I knew money was tight, so I asked for small things or things I knew the family needed. Which I got, the dish drying rack, the shower curtain, the toilet seat (I hated that the old one with the crack pinched my bum). One year I got a hand-me-down coat, and the younger children got brand new "cool" coats. Or the year I didn't ask for anything fancy, I don't even remember what I did receive, but the littles got new bicycles.  The disparity bites.  Or there was the year I asked for one thing. A sage green T-shirt with tiny lettering across the front (so small it looked like a simple stripe from a distance) which read X-Files. I listed the mall, store, and rack location on my Christmas list.  Instead I got a black shirt with The X-Files boldly emblazoned across it, and a full back garish graphic from an episode about a boy possessed by the devil. With the shirt I also got a curling iron. That was the year my hair was about an inch and a half long. It had the $1.50 clearance sticker still on it, and my sil's niece called her out about having given the same iron to her other niece the week before for her birthday, but she hadn't wanted it.

...Yeah... I have to say the crappy Christmases stick out the most.

I have one happy one, an older sister gave me a teddy bear one year when I was really little, I named him Chocolate Chip because he had brown eyes and a brown nose and tan fur, so he looked like a cookie."

I had hoped for a few more responses, but these two, along with my own experiences, proved my point which is the same as this classic book. Christmas does not come from the store. Christmas is WAY more. And when those Who's down in Who-Ville woke up and started to sing, sing, sing in spite of their village being pillaged, what happened to the green man??? His cold heart grew three sizes.  This year has been a trying year for me personally, but I am deeply grateful for the blessings I've received.  

As humans we all have the same thing in common, hearts that beat and hearts that ache when life is hard. The greatest blessings that we can receive are when we get out of our own selfish brains and look for ways to help those around us. Quit worrying about the newest and fanciest toy or gadget and take the time to notice if your neighbors are OK or if they need a meal, a hug or two or ten or some anonymous holiday cheer. I promise you that it will make your holiday the most memorable and you will look back on it with fondness.

The moral of the story: sing sing and sing some more while you make someone's holiday merry very!

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

Bless All The Dear Children.

Well here we are in December! Can you believe it? It seems like just yesterday I was at the pool and enjoying flip flops and sunshine and now it's.... Well it's still sunshine and flip flops, but with a Christmas tree in my living room. We've had crazy warm weather in the 'hood lately and quite frankly I am grateful. I get terrible seasonal blues and I feel like this is a reprieve and answer to some uttered prayers from a couple of weeks ago. I know my ski bum and shredding friends are itching for the white stuff but I'm good. 

So for December I'm going to showcase my favorite holiday songs and traditions. I'm a sentimental fool with a big heart and most of the things I will talk about stem from a very blessed, yet simple childhood. I hope you enjoy my holiday musings. 

Last week was quite the anomaly for my non-profit work. It just so happened that I had two really important events centered around organizations that help kids at risk or those who have been in abusive situations or both. As I reflected back on both events it got me thinking about my favorite Christmas carol: "Away In A Manger."  When I looked up the history of the carol its origin is unknown and there are numerous versions and melodies. This carol is so moving to me. One of the things I love about it most is the third verse, which I quoted in the graphic above. It becomes a lullaby and it's blessed. Bless all the dear children in thy tender care. Sigh .... This time of year tends to be especially challenging for me because I haven't been blessed with motherhood yet. I've really worked hard this year to channel those mamma bear instincts through my community involvement with the Weber-Morgan Children's Justice Center. This continues to be one of the most rewarding and equally humbling tasks I've ever committed to. Some of my readers may be recovering abuse victims and to you I say, never give up and let your voice be heard. The statistics are staggering for those who are textbook victims, but never do anything to get the help and justice they deserve. And I will also say, listen to your children and those around you and be very sensitive to what they talk to you about. If you have any reservations towards certain individuals around your children, talk to someone about it. The worst thing anyone can do is to not speak up.  

We hosted a holiday open house this week at the Children's Justice Center and I had extended the invitation to a couple of people. One of them was my friend who will be part of a donation effort in the spring. I wanted him to see first hand what really went on at the center so that it made sense when we had the event. I'm always really humbled by people's reaction when they walk into the first interview room and it sinks in what actually happens within those four walls. I was one of those people not that long ago and it was the kind of humbling that causes a lump to get stuck in your throat. This time was no exception and my friend asked questions and I answered them. We then made our way into the recording room with the director who is a former child crime investigator. This room is where the computer system and recording equipment is housed for the investigators to watch as the interview is happening with the child. Shit gets real oh so quick when you realize the magnitude of purpose that occurs on a daily basis. Now I've been exposed to it for awhile, but my friend had not. I just stood there and watched as he took it all in and asked questions to the director giving us the tour. The point was made and I could tell that he was moved and inspired. This is why I do what I do... For the kids... The kids who, at no fault of their own, have been thrown into a terrible situation and need those advocates behind them. 

The second organization I met with for le day job was The Christmas Box House. The director also happens to be one of the VanLadyLove mammas so that was fun too! The organization's motto is "every child deserves a childhood." To think that this is NOT the case for so many of our youth breaks my heart. As Lisa and I were visiting I told her that I've always said I would raise the whole neighborhood if it meant they had a safe place to eat, sleep and be kids. That still stands true. The Christmas Box House provides temporary shelter for kids who have lost their home for whatever reason. They are doing incredible things for these youth. They offer so many programs for them that helps them become functioning adults against all sorts of odds. 

So how can we connect this beloved carol and these two awesome organizations? Really simple... Watch out for the children and protect these dear babes who are in your life for whatever reason. And especially those who you know have been dealt a terrible hand and you can shift their future for the better. And most of all don't forget to pray. Pray to your God for the victims of the poor choices of selfish adults. Bless those sweet young humans all around us. 

The moral of the story: life isn't a lullaby for everyone, but with a little effort and prayer we can bring a song to the hearts of children all around us. 

 

Here is my absolute favorite rendition of "Away In A Manger" sung by Katherine Jenkins. 

 



Until next time my lovelies!

-R