makeup feature: You & Me: Let's Be Younique!

I'm happy to be back on the blog train after some big life changes and a whirlwind of miracles.  There's no better way to do that than a makeup feature of my absolute favorite makeup products.  And it doesn't hurt that the company name is the best marketing play on words ever.  I'm so happy to introduce you to Younique, a fantastic makeup company based in Utah (yay local to my former home!) My darling friend and client, Natalee Fox, asked that I share with all of you my thoughts and some trade secrets with some of Younique's newest products.  All I can say is this....you will LOVE their stuff, new or old, so read on for more details.  And there's a chance for you to purchase your own!  Winning! 

My starter face plus brow pencil.

Before we get too far in this sharing of "top secret" make-up musings, I have to confess a few of things.  1. I wear about 1/4 of the make-up that I did in my 20's.  Make-up was a cover-up for my insecurity and I have slowly let that go over time.  However, I still LOVE getting dolled up and I especially love classic red lips, which is what I feature today.  Feeling pretty brings power and if we use it the right way it can change the world in so many ways.  2. I am a simple woman who doesn't spend hours putting on makeup in the morning because I value sleep way too much.  Thus, my methods are really simple and streamline.  I'm no expert, but I do what works for me and that's what you should do as well.  If the mall makeup counter expert tells you to wear it this way and it looks stupid to you, figure out what you like and do it.  Life is too short to have us knocked around by everyone else's opinion.  3. I have extremely finicky eyeballs.  They water at the most inopportune times and they also sweat.  It's a genetic gift that I would gladly send back, but that's not how it works.  I also managed to leave my 3D fibers Younique mascara at my other home in Idaho so the mascara I'm wearing today is NOT Younique, but it's the base that I have to wear, otherwise I sweat it all off.  It's super sexy when that happens, trust me.....and don't ask for photos.  It's a wet-dog-in-the-rain kind of chic that no one needs to witness.    

So, without further adieu, let's talk Younique make-up.  

Concealer & Foundation

I'm a top-to-bottom girl when I apply makeup.  Or bottom layer to top layer, however you look at it.  So, first up is concealer and liquid mineral foundation.  

Younique's concealer goes a LONG with a small amount.  I dab it under my eyes and then let it set for a minute and then rub it in.  I also do the same thing with the foundation.  I'm a comical war painted princess for a few split seconds and then the transformation happens.  I also put foundation on my lips as a bit of a primer (but mostly because I'm stream-lining...ahem....lazy.)

Younique's Skin Perfection concealer and Mineral Touch foundation are liquid gold.  They are worth every single penny you will spend on them.  The application is so so smooth and you don't feel like you're wearing putty on your face.  This is the only make-up that I haven't had a single issue with break-outs on my skin.  Love just doesn't seem to cover how much I heart these two products.  

The other truly magical perk of Younique's liquid foundation is they sell a special application brush that has a groove in the middle to hold the liquid.  MIND. BLOWN. LIFE. CHANGED.  Not only do you have a better idea of how much liquid is actually being applied to your skin, but it's so much smoother and not as messy.  I won this brush with my first purchase of foundation and I am a lifetime lover of this fantastic tool.  

Cream Eye Shadow

Cream eye shadow has been around for a lot of years, but Younique just released their line this fall.  It is spectacular.  I decided to go with a neutral pallet for this feature so I could really make sure I loved the product itself before I went crazy with bold colors.  These are the colors I chose: a nice matte nude color, a deep copper (yummy) and a metallic taupe.  They rock.  I have worn them often since I received the make-up.  

I layered my shadows with the matte color (top left) as the base color, metallic taupe (bottom) as the lid and then the deep copper (top right) as the crease.  It's a really light, neutral look and I love it.  

An insider trick that I learned years ago for best use of cream eye shadows is to use the lid as your mix pallet. Depending on the brand, it can get a little messy if you try to get a good application amount just by dipping your brush in the cream itself.  I usually like to mix while layering so the lid becomes my mixer plate.  Here's what it looks like with the metallic taupe color.

Lips

I can't tell you how many times I've put on a face of make-up and thought, "what the hell?" and then I put on the lip color I chose and it finished the look perfectly.  I've also taken more risks with lip colors over the years which is how I even decided that I could sport red lips, even as a redhead.  That's a long story that involves a guy I once knew who loved red lips.  Bless his heart for kicking me out of my comfort zone because it's my go-to for fancy events now.....and the grocery store on occasion.  

Younique just released Splash Liquid Lipstick.  They are a matte finish and are deep, richly-colored lipsticks.  They say you can wear them without a lip liner, but I'm a lover of liner so that's what I went for today.  I have a red lip liner from Younique that worked great with the red lipstick.  Below is a picture of the three colors I have right now.  A deep red (smokin hot), a deep purple (still deciding if I'm brave enough for that one, even though it's fantastic) and a dark brown (my go-to color in the fall and winter).  Click on the photo for a better look.  My lighting was a little wonky today so it's hard to see the colors against my red background.  

Lip care goes well beyond good lipstick and I love the lip exfoliator product that Younique sells.

I apply it after foundation and rub my lips together so the exfoliation can occur and then wipe it off with a damp cloth, as shown below.  Really easy and really important.  

Like I said above, I am a lover of lip liner and would definitely recommend it as much as possible.  It just helps give cleaner lines.  Plus, I have that weird genetic sweat gig and on hot days, my lipstick has been known to run and then I look like a crazy cat lady who escaped and didn't bother to look in a mirror to apply lipstick.  You think I'm kidding........so wish I was........

The final look is simple, but elegant.  Like I said before, I didn't include the 3D fiber lashes mascara because it's in another state, but I can't say enough about how great it is!  My lashes look a-mazing when I have the mascara on over my mascara tubes.  Look up the 3D fiber lashes here and give them a try.  You will not be disappointed.  

I hope my make-up musings have given you some new ideas for the dolling up that is such a great part of being a woman!  Younique is high-quality and definitely worth the cost.  Plus, you're supporting small business and there isn't a better make-up company to support.  Be you, be Younique and look smashingly gorgeous while you're at it.  

To purchase your own wonderful products, please visit my virtual party HERE.  

The moral of the story: Resting bitch face might give us less wrinkles, but good make-up helps us feel pretty and that is better.....much better.  

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

fashion feature: LuLaRoe

Social media is so great and I was pleasantly surprised to receive an email from the lovely girls at LuLaRoe: Crystal Vaughn VIP  asking if I would feature their clothing on my bloggy blog.  It's been a long time since I've had a good reason to talk fashion, but let me tell you what, LuLaRoe is a FABULOUS reason!  And to top it all off, I get to offer you the sweetest giveaway for $40 in Lula cash so you can buy your own!  It's a Win/Win! Keep on reading and find out why I am the newest super fan of LuLaRoe.

For those of you who have been faithful readers from the beginning (bless you), you know that I love fashion, but I don't do trendy.  I love different, bold and comfortable.  Sometimes those three requirements are hard to accomplish in one piece of clothing.  However, I was able to achieve that with the maxi skirt and sassy leggings that Emily sent me.  First we will talk about this skirt and two of my favorite words: polka dots.

The maxi skirt is a great quality cotton.  It's also bright and turns heads.  I loved it from the moment I tried it on.  The skirt can also double as a tube dress, but I kept it in traditional form for this photo shoot and review.  Versatility and durability are a big deal for me and I can already tell that this cotton will stand the test of time....or in my case.....lots of days wearing it for more occasions than a couple of hours in church.  I live in maxi skirts during all seasons so I want it to last forever; especially if it's really cute!

Another really important element for me in a piece of clothing is its ability to be multi-seasonal.  This skirt definitely fits the bill with its deep navy and mustard polka dots.  A true crossover skirt that looked totally amazing with the fall foliage of East Idaho as its backdrop, but I know I will be able to rock it next spring and summer.

Final thoughts on the maxi skirt?  Two thumbs up and a bit of silly kissy face!  Sign up on their Facebook page to get your own maxi skirt in a pattern that fits your style as well as this did mine.

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Next were these magnificent, hot pink leggings!  I am in love with them! I live for different and I also love pattern & pattern so we went full throttle with this outfit!  The top is a thrift store find and the shoes are Clarks wedges that I bought on clearance last month while on a weekend getaway in Driggs, Idaho.

When I agreed to feature LuLaRoe, I was very skeptical about the leggings.  I'm curvy and even curvier than I was last year and I generally opt for no leggings while out shopping because it's just depressing to try them on.  Who needs the reminder that there are a few extra curves and padding in all the wrong places?  Well, these leggings surprised me!  As soon as I put them on, I was in heaven.  My neighbor has a collection of LuLaRoe leggings and she swears by them for their comfort, quality of cotton (again) and their killer prints!  I too have fallen in love with these leggings and I have 3 more pair ordered and headed my way in the mail!  No sale is ever the same so you never know what is going to be available for purchase.  Depending on how adventurous you are, that can be a pro and a con.  I was grateful to find these pink beauties because they are SO much my style and personality.  I mean.....how can I not pose for a picture like this when wearing print and print?

I was so pleased with these leggings and can't wait to pair them with other fun tunics in my closet.  They are the kind of leggings that force people to stop and say, "where did you get those fabulous leggings?" I will gladly say that I got them from LulaRoe Crystal Vaughn VIP

What I love the most about LuLaRoe besides the obvious quality, is the selection of prints that scream "just be you and rock that look!" That is totally my jam and I will gladly keep these in my closet for years to come! And now that I've talked your face off with all the benefits of LuLaRoe, I think you better sign up for $40 in free LuLa cash from Emily and her team!  If you're anything like me you'll want it all!  

The moral of the story: sassy fashion is for all shapes and sizes and with a little effort, you too can find a clothing line that shows your true personality!  

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R

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lemons to lemonade.

Once upon a time I made the leap of faith to leave a career that was sucking the life out of me. Little did I know that the next two years would be the BIGGEST lemons to lemonade object lesson of my life.  Wait, what?  I thought having straight-up clinical depression at 19 was that event in my life?  Or maybe fearing kitchen knives and necklaces because my anxiety was so high while in therapy?  Nope.  This.  Leaving a career and everything that followed has literally changed me, but for the better.  So, let's talk about that and how I've managed to turn my bushel of lemons to a grand pitcher of tasty lemonade.

If we are being totally raw and real, I will confess that there was absolutely NO other option, but to leave my previous career.  It was pretty much awful towards the end.  I was working for a person who was dishonest and didn't respect women. Plus, there were a lot of politics that didn't bode well for me.  I was miserable and stressed out of my mind.  I was presented with an opportunity to do what I loved so I took the risk and did it while taking a pay cut and all that went with leaving 11 years in a single industry.  It put me in the path of some of the best business people I've ever worked with, but also some on the other side of the spectrum.  Lemons to lemonade meant focusing on the people I loved working with and trying to tune out the others.  Not easy.  Believe me.  I opened up a part of my heart and soul that was passionate about doing the best possible thing with what I was given and I did just that.  I taught myself how to do things "the hard way" and succeed.  What I didn't know was this path was leading me in a direction of far bigger and much harder things.

One of the biggest challenges in life is to see the sunshine in our storm.  It's even harder when you already have a tendency for depression.  My mental health struggles started out because of female-plumbing-gone-haywire mixed with pressure on the homefront, but as I've aged and learned how to deal with that part, I've gotten better at managing it.  When my depression LOVES to show up to the party is in stressful situations or seasonal times of the year when the days are shorter and colder. Those are my triggers.  So, when I was suddenly presented with situations due to "doing what would make me happier" that were ultra shitty, the big D waltzed his way in too.  Yes, he is male.  No, I'm not being a feminist man-hater bitch.  Just roll with it.  Overbearing depression and anxiety are the party crashers that no one wants to ever see, but they still manage to show up.  But we have to face them and treat them with kindness because that's what ultimately sends them away.  Let them eat some appetizers, have a couple drinks and then they will go away.  And suddenly I've made depression sound like a bad wedding reception.

I have learned that the BEST way to make lemons to lemonade is to really take the advice "mind over matter" to heart.  Vision boards are not all smoke and mirrors, my lovelies.  When we visualize the other side of the trial we can get through the here and now so much better.  Having the vision doesn't mean that it's going to just poof itself away, but it means that we have our eye on the positive and can focus on it for as long as we need to.  It still means we will have "ugly cry" days and "step-away-from-the-chocolate-and-Diet-Coke-before-I-kill-you" days, but we get through them.

This past weekend I went to a business conference that my friends put together.  It was seriously one of the best experiences for me, both personally and professionally.  When it was done, I was on cloud nine for a long list of reasons.  I felt empowered, loved and appreciated. It was my lemonade for the last 2 years of utter hell of leaving a stable, yet shitty career, and becoming who I am meant to be.  However, I could not have been sitting in that room enjoying that surreal moment unless I had been in my previous career.  My knowledge, experiences and connections put me in that path.  150%.  In fact, my dear friend who was one of the event organizers was one of the best business risks I took in my previous career path.  She and I met sight-unseen after emailing each other on LinkedIn.  We still call each other the best blind business date we've ever been on.  I adore her and she has put me in the path of so many incredible people who have brought opporutnity and happiness to my life.  Lemons to lemonade.  Completely.  One of the speakers at the event was Olympic bronze medalist, Allison Baver.  Allison was in a horrific speedskating accident before the Vancouver Winter Olympics and her will to heal led her back to full health and she went on to win a bronze medal.  She shared the following quote with us and it really resonated with me.

Our mind can change the course of life, good or bad.  How are we choosing to treat it and how are we choosing to interpret life and its challenges?  For every trial, there are five things we can be grateful for sitting right in front of our face.  Each and every time we recognize the blessings we are keeping our brain on course to determine our outcome for the better. I can't begin to tell you the number of nights I have prayed with gratitude for my bed, the safety of my home, a warm bath, grilled cheese sandwiches and that the day was over.  5 things to be grateful for to every crappy thing.  Try it!  It works wonders!

One of the best cards I received last year was from my dear friend Mel.  It went something like this, "well lemons to lemonade, even if it's a 6 pack of hard lemonade."  At that point I probably could have drank a few hard lemonades, but I didn't, and I pulled myself up and got through the challenge that warranted her card.

I have resolved to further continue my quest for lemons to lemonade in some ways that are SO exciting yet SO terrifying because they expose more vulnerability and make my stomach jump.  But, I'm going to do it and I'm going to succeed just like I already have.

The moral of the story: When life hands you lemons, break out the juicer, throw in some extra suga (or maybe vodka) and have a party in spite of the storm!  You can totally do it!

Until next time, my lovelies!
-R

Be sure to check out the biz side of "Let It Be & Celebrate" by visiting www.beyoudesignsut.co

But, What If I Fail?

This week we've had nearly perfect weather here at Chez Ray Country. It's been cool and clear at night and mid 80s with a breeze during the day. I've been trying to eat lunch at the park more so I can enjoy fresh air before it's too cold. Today I was particularly aware of the moms and kiddos joining together for play dates at the playground across the way. I found myself thinking, "oh how I wish that was my life." That's an every day occurance for me and it's ok. But then in the next sentence I thought, "I'll bet one or all of those women wish they were still working outside of the home and could catch a nap on their lunch break or go to the bathroom in silence, but instead sit in an infinite pile of laundry and empty packages of scooby snacks."

And that's what got me thinking. How are we doing in the here and now?  Are we living in the moment or are we worrying ourselves sick that we will fail and mess up our "life plan?"  In my last blog post, I talked about tuning out the static of our lives. I talked about the ability to face your life full-on and say, "I don't care what anyone says or what the voices in my head say, I am doing this." The flip side to this thought process is the ever-present demon voice in our head that says, "but, what if I fail?" I have a few things to say about that.  Let's begin some raw musings avec Ray.

The majority of my readers are women, sprinkled with a few brave men. I am humbled by the stories that have been shared with me as I share my story about my journey of empowerment and mental health awareness.  There are stories far worse than mine and people who have lived through some pretty scary shit in their life and come out of it better and braver.  But getting through these events doesn't mean the scars just magically disappear.  In fact, it's quite the opposite.  The biggest side effect that I have observed and lived is the fear of failing.

One of my most popular blog posts is "In My Life." I share my thoughts about the great hit by The Beatles, "In My Life" and how it related to my closing thoughts after organized therapy.  I didn't share all my thoughts in that post, but there was definitely more.....lots more that I think about regularly. One of the questions and subsequent answer that I still think about is this, "Question number 2....how do you not let yourself get trapped in the "What if's" of life.  Oh my hell....if anyone has that answer ring me right up.  The word IF should burn in hell.  It is not fair that we've been taught to use the word "if."  What if I don't get married...what if I don't have babies?  Uh ya, still can't live with those answers.  I may never know if I can do it.  But all I know is I can still get up in the morning, plan my day, be amazing, and let it all pan out.  And when the evil word "if" creeps its way in...I recognize it...recognize my pain...but quickly move it right out.  That's the only way to do it."

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As I read that paragraph for this blog post, I suddenly had a flood of memories from the last 5 years since I wrote that statement.  I remember feeling a huge pit in my stomach about the idea of taking risks and facing life's challenges without the security blanket of a therapist.  Since then, I've been knocked down 3 times in my career in a year's time, lost a close family member to death, said good bye forever to someone I thought I loved, gave up on God's timing, gave a second chance to God's timing, fell in love with nature, started a business, embraced aunthood in all aspects of my life, bought my first bikini top (don't tell my mother) and quit checking my bank account every hour of every day for fear of not having enough. My hardest days are those when I let the demon named IF creep in to my brain.  Anxiety is a HUGE element of depression and for many of us it comes and goes in waves, depending on the life events at the time.  For me, I have found much solace in meditation and the art of being still and turning off my brain in an effort to calm the hell down.  That is NOT easy at times, but I'm getting better at it.  The other day I was talking to my best friend about this process.  It didn't magically happen on its own.  There have been LOTS of nights where I could only turn my brain off for a few minutes and then I had to do something else. I call that gypsy flight mode. Lately, I have had the ability to shut off the noise and actually relax.  You can do it too.

For some of you, this may require medication to even out your chemical balance.  GET ON IT.  Do not be afraid to medicate!  Why in the hell would you continue to willingly let yourself be miserable?  Turn off YOUR static, that medication is bad, and give yourself the gift of mental reprive.  Remember, medication, just like therapy, does not cure you.  It merely gives you a buffer so you can freaking cope when you just want to go postal.

When it comes right down to it, our fear of failing has to do with relationships.  Relationships with those around us and with ourself.  Our fear of failure stems from unrealistic expectations that we set for ourselves and those that we perceive are set by others.  If we will cut the superficial and dig deep as the Dalai Lama suggests in his book, "The Art of Happiness," we will find peace and less anxiety.  If you don't have a copy of this book, stop what you're doing and BUY IT.  It is $2.56 on Amazon Marketplace for the paperback copy (yes, I checked) and it is a must-read.  Being still, having less fear and more faith comes by grounding ourselves and trusting our power to live.  The Dalai Lama gives such eloquent wisdom in this book and I always reccommnd it to friends who are having a tough time in life.

For all the crappy that has occured in my life, the peacful and content that has followed it is irreplacable.  When I look at the sweet faces of my four Colorado loves on FaceTime and melt all over again, I remember that I have a reason to live.  I have LOTS of reasons to live and I have even more reasons to continue my life and not fear failure and so do you.

The moral of the story: Failure is not failure unless we say so.  We can either fall down and give up or we can learn from it.  That's it!  Give yourself a chance to be amazing and it will happen.

Until next time, my lovelies!
-R

Be sure to check out the biz side of "Let It Be & Celebrate" by visiting www.beyoudesignsut.co

Be Inspired.

Hello, my lovelies!  I've been a busy bee building my business, working a new full-time job and rolling with the tide of life.  I've been working on designs for clients, but also for my Facebook page too.  I thought I would share those with all of you so you can pin & share & be inspired.  I will also include some previous blog posts that I'm reminded of with each other these quotes.  This first one is from the ever amazing and sassy, Lucille Ball.  Check out this blog post about falling in love with a redhead.

At times it seems like we should just give up, but that is NOT the answer. Ever.  Keep moving forward, keep trying to cope!  Read this post about coping.

This is such a great quote and reminds me of the post I wrote about flying our geek flag and being happy even when we are COMPLETE nerds.  This post is also a book review of one of my favorites written by an author from Utah.  Come fly your geek flag here!

In all the transition and craziness that is my life, I am SO beyond grateful for my tribe of girlfriends who support me and cheer me on during the not-so-ducky days.  In this post I talk about our friends being the sunshine in our life!

Be your own kind of beautiful.  A woman's heart is where her true beauty resides.  Read this great post about the power of being a strong woman as well as a book review of The Boston Girl by Anita Diamant.  

Audrey Hepburn is a great inspiration for me and I especially loved this quote.  Living a "normal" life doesn't actually exist and depending on the day, it can be quite challenging.  In one of my most popular blog posts, I share my thoughts about the loving and living that has happened in my life and how I keep growing.

Last, but certainly not least, is this gem from Harriet Tubman.  As women we are sometimes discouraged to dream big and chase after our dreams.  I know that we can do it and I am living that in my life so many ways.  In this blog post (my most recent post), I talk about ignoring the static and listening to the voices that matter most.

I hope that we can all focus on the what matters most and find inspiration in the words of others.  Please feel free to pin, share, email, print, tape to your bathroom mirror, whatever!

The moral of the story: We can find great inspiration in other's words as well as inspire others to have courage and keep fighting their fight.

Until next time, my lovelies!
-R

Static: Tune It Out.

Time has a way of flying by at warp speed and I don't realize how fast my spaceship of crazy is actually going until I look at a calendar and let it all sink in.  To say life has been hectic since last we met, is an understatement.  I am a broken record.  Much of my blog in the last 18 months coincided with some really challenging times as a grown-up.  Adulting sucks at times and finding reasons to love and appreciate trials is basically the hardest thing you can have handed to you.  And the longer those trials drag on, the harder it gets.  But, I've learned a few new coping skills that I want to share with all of you so that maybe one of you, maybe more, will take comfort in my crazy and know that there is sunshine on the other side of that shit storm you feel like is NEVER GOING TO END.  

Small Blessings Are Huge Answers to Prayers: I am so grateful to know that I can pray to a God who I know is aware of me and loves me, in spite of my long list of imperfections.  Even when I'm making choices that some might raise their eyebrows at, He is always right there by my side, quietly guiding my footsteps towards my destiny. When I chose to uproot my life in Utah, I knew that the transition was going to be hard.  But, that was when I had it all mapped out and everything was planned in a perfect little way and I could handle THAT.  Well, then my plot had a big fat twist in it and everything went exactly the opposite of what I thought I wanted.  Little did I know that this breaking of my perfect pieces meant that I could be put back together and healed.  I beat myself up over finally being honest with someone who I thought I loved and they did nothing.  Their silence, their utter weakness, felt like it was my fault.  It was not.  It is not.  He's an idiot.  I'm better off.  The end.  The letting go was a small blessing, but a huge answer to a tough prayer to utter.  I purged my hate disguised as love and moved forward.

Turn off the Static: Growing up in Southeastern Montana meant a lot of time on the road with no radio stations.  This was the era of cassette tapes aka no smart phones or bluetooth, so it could get a little interesting if you had a long distance to drive and only so many tapes.  It was rare that I would just allow myself to drive in silence because I was always afraid I would fall asleep at the wheel because of the boredom of quiet.  Fast-forwarding to present day and I still find myself hitting patches of road here in Idaho where there are no radio stations; just static.  Even though I have my trusty iPhone with Pandora and iTunes, they only work if I have cell service which is still spotty.  Because of this fact, I now allow myself to drive in silence at times.  I allow the static to be silenced.  Our lives are like that too.  Many times we want to have the noise all the time.  Noise means our brain is focused on something else.  Noise means we don't have to cope.  Noise means masking reality.  But, if we will turn off the static in our lives and let our heart and mind drink in the peace of quiet, we will discover parts of our soul that hasn't seen the light of day in a VERY long time.  Parts of our soul that need way more nurturing than we give credit.  I found a lost part of my soul when I turned off the noise and centered back to my heart and what it really needed and it was a remarkable breakthrough for me.

Look to the Light of Family & Friends: At one point this year there were three people in my immediate family without work; I was one of them.  If you've never experienced the stress of unemployment I pray you don't have to experience it EVER.  It's rough.  It's just not pleasant.  However, it has taught me to turn to the light that is family and friends.  The list of blessings is vast, but I could not have survived without countless FaceTime calls with my Colorado loves, the GIANT warm chocolate chip cookie that showed up on my doorstep one day, the encouraging words nearly every day, and the opportunity to cry when I needed to cry.  That run-on sentence can't be broken because it truly symbolizes that I kept moving.  I kept holding on when I wanted to break up with my crappy life.  But, I didn't. I kept going.  My version of moving forward soon became known as "Ray the Neigborhood Nanny." A smidge of magical Mary Poppins, a smidge of sassy swearing sailor, a bit of old-fashioned school marm and an enabler of soda fountain mixed drinks addictions. It was the SWEET life and I felt loved and needed and that was the glue putting my pieces back together.  Plus now my besties kids LOVE me.  More than they already did.  It's awesome.  I conned my niece with the promise of Starbucks tonight!  Muwhahahahahahaha, Neighborhood Nanny is also a bit of a villain.  That's the redheaded older sister in me.

Tell Yourself, "It Will Be Ok." and Believe It: I have a sister who hates quotes on signs or the wall.  It's super trendy these days, especially in Utah, and she is a ranty rage when we ask her if she wants a quote on her dining room wall.  I, on the other hand, welcome all the wordsy reminders I can get, to help me stay calm and practice true self-care.  When I lived in Ogden, my bathroom mirror was "words of affirmation" central.  I put them in the bathroom because I spent a lot of time in there getting ready for the day and that's when I needed to remind myself that everything would be ok.  The more I walked in my bathroom and read my own affirmations out loud, the more I believed it.  The brain is a powerful tool.  It can either help or hurt you.  Now that my bathroom is a shared space and upstairs, I have my affirmations tacked on my bedroom wall and I still read them daily.  It did turn out, I did get the good job, and whoever the future baby daddy is actually supposed to be; he is out there in the universe being groomed to what I need most.  But, he better not shave off his beard or I'm folding on that birthing plan.

This little bloggy blog is my place to share some sunshine and I hope that it can continue to be that for my readers as well.  I want you all to know that we CAN face the shit storm with humor, poise and faith.  And when all else fails, just remember....

The moral of the story: You can always be the neighborhood nanny to someone and lend your time and love in times of need, both for you and them.

Until next time, my lovelies
-R

Be sure to check out the biz side of "Let It Be & Celebrate" by visiting www.beyoudesignsut.co

Mirror, Mirror On My Wall.

This week my friend shared in a Facebook update that her young daughter had voiced her personal concerns about her image and my friend didn't know how to react because she herself deeply struggles with her own set of image challenges.  It broke my heart to read the string of comments from fellow moms who have been thrown in to the same conversations with their young kids and hastily reminded me of the love-hate relationship I have with the mirror on my wall on a daily basis.

This blog is a three-fold initiative and one of the main topics is women's empowerment.  What brought me to that point?  The need I saw and felt for a real, raw, perfectly imperfect, curvy woman speaking up and standing at the front of the line for kindness and confidence in a sea of photo-shopped, fake and superficial. Does that mean that I have all the confidence and self-assurance that I am just fine the way I am?  Hell. No.  In fact, I had to stop MYSELF from the nitpick self talk when I saw myself in a bathing suit in a mirror at the local hot springs last week.  My brain is my own toughest critic.  I often wish there was a magic wand that my fairy godmother could sprinkle pixie dust on my forehead and I would see myself as others see me and as God sees me.  But, alas, that is not real, however, we can do so much to strengthen our self-confidence, self-esteem and self-love.  The best part is that as we do that we are happier and we become examples to others to do the same.  I want to share some of the feedback I received when I posed the question, "what would you say if this was your daughter?" To protect the individuals, I will keep all comments anonymous.  The comments come from a wide variety of women with differing religions, ages, professional backgrounds, some are mothers, some are not.  They are beautiful and strengthened me in my on-going quest for self-love.

• Tell her she is beautiful every day. Don't say "you look beautiful," but "you are beautiful." And also amazing, smart, strong, funny, kind, sweet, etc. Never comment on body. Ever. Even 'good' comments.

• Ask the why...why do you feel this way? Has someone said something? You know, God made you to his perfection and that is what really matters. Everyone has flaws or something they don't like about themselves but it's how God sees you. God made you this way for a reason. He loves the way you look and you should too!

• Focus on acknowledging the painful emotions that accompany - joining with her in sharing my own experiences of feeling " not good enough"

• Part of helping the problem is understanding where she is hating herself. If she isn't liking how big she is, instead of saying she needs to go on a diet, exercise with her and start eating healthy with her. Maybe find some good roll models that aren't fake (like pro female sports players) and let her see how not everyone is fake. Also help her understand that most people in magazines are photo-shopped.

• It's also important that this is something that our boys face too.

• First of all, I commend that little girl for being able to open up about her insecurities. Definitely nothing wrong with that. I just kept my insecurities bottled up as a child and I should have been more open with them. I would tell your friend to THANK her daughter for bringing up these insecurities. Her being open about them is a step in the right direction. If she were my daughter, I would tell her not to care what society thinks of her. Those idiots don't matter. What IS considered ideal? Is it even that desirable? Do you want to live the kind of lifestyle that comes with it? Girls who are "perfect" probably aren't as happy as they appear to be. They have problems, just like everybody else. Imperfection equates uniqueness. The people who give you the time of day truly appreciate and embrace your imperfections. They love you for them. I feel blessed to have the friends I do because they know I'm imperfect and insecure, but they don't CARE. They love me just the same. I would say to her, "You do you, hun, because trying to be someone or something else wastes a lot of time that could've been spent discovering yourself and developing your own unique talents." God created you the way he did for a specific reason.

Every single day we have to remember that God created us to be UNIQUE, wonderful, quirky and lovely for a reason. The media creates a standard to sell magazines and advertising. Others speak harshly towards us, about us or about themselves to draw the attention away from their blaring insecurity.  Please, please, please be mindful of how you speak and act around the kids in your life because they DO listen and create their own opinions of themselves before they can even express it.  

I've shared this video before, but I love it so much because it is a very literal and blunt example of how we shape the way our kids think.  #likeagirl is still such a powerful example to me and gives me a constant reminder to be a better example to the kids in my life, but to also live it with myself. 

The moral of the story: Being unique is our super power.  Fly high and save the world in your own special way.  

Until next time, my lovelies!

-R